Isn't it a frustrating thing when you voiced out your dreams to your mum and you receive soemthing like ,"Tak usah pikir2 jauh, nanti asik tukar2 impian aje," which probably makes you feel disheartened coz the fact that they are YOUR PARENTS and are SUPPOSED to MOTIVATE or ENCOURAGE you?

Long winding question? Let me make it simple.

ARE PARENTS PERFECT EARTHLINGS??

NOt quite true, at least well, for me.

Sometimes i love them, sometimes its the reverse, but no matter what, their flaws in making you happy still prevails. They know who you are or what you are or anything, but the thing is, knowing is nothing compared to the underlaying understanding of what a person feels.

Yes, they do know that whenever im hungry and tired i go 'as crazy as a fish running on dryland'. BUT the question is, do they make it better??

Not generalising here, but frankly speaking, i have parents who do love me but understanding me is the problem. Accepting me is ok. But understanding? Its as though they are TOLERATING with me, not understanding, which really makes the living monster in me go right out of my mouth and eats the living flesh out of people.

What im trying to say to parents out there, its not the ultraego or the status that matter. Is not just love. Or care. Its the understanding part that makes the jigsaw puzzle complete.

I do love them, but please, don't you go and ravish me with stupid ideologies of parents being the 'rightful, trustworthy and true' friend and then, expect me to give every secret from every nook and cranny of my lil brain lar. What's the point of tellijng if you scold first, or if not (sigh), go lecturing me about religious stuff. I NEED ANSWERS, not THINGS THAT I CAN READ FROM THE BOOK!!! And for all you know, im taking my diploma in Islamic Studies wad, so i can read every thing and KNOW it even if you want to let me know.

Sometimes i feel its so dumb. One minute you were passionate of starting a business promoting WAYANG KULIT, and the very next minute, wad i got in return was nothing but smirks or expressions of utter boredom or not-gonna-bother-with-your-crap face. WTH!?!?!

Dreams are meant to be propelled. Man had a dream to step foot on the moon. All they need was a rocket to propel them forwards.

Just like me. Is setting up a WAYANG KULIT company in the European arena an impossible feat??? That was my LIFE TIME dream, do you know that?!

Look at the stats. Im trying to promote malay theatre and fine arts in country's of well aesthetic development here. Wads wrong with that?! You mean, i cannot achieve that coz life itself is short and "all you can do is to tawakal let God decides"??! God decides our fate, but it is us to decide our destiny. Fate not = destiny you know. Fate is what that is been set, like my death, my birth, but destiny? It is the arah or the path where we persevere enough to reach our goals. God is All-Fair you know. He decides who goes to hell or heaven, but it is up to us to choose which or where to go. God neither puts you in hell bcoz of your sins nor puts you in heaven bcoz of your alms. But it is in His REDHA or RAHMAH dat puts you there. Even if you are an infiddle, if He sympathies you, or so, he can put you in heaven and we cannot argue at all. He is ultimately God.

My destiny is to live to the highest achievable peak. To conquer unmarred lands or oceans. That is mine, I choose what my path, God sets my path and guides me there, but ultimately, it is us to choose, fo God is All-Merciful and gives the best to all. And for me, i wanna be a Malay activist, to bring forth my great grandfather's living treasures to places of fine hall. To make people recognize that Malays are a civilization and are civilized, to have their own ethnics and ethics, to have their cultures and values, to have a place amongst many.

We need dreams. We live in dreams. Reality is there, where it is eternity. Here, we are just walking puppets with brains to think, but ultimately, God moves you.

Quote of the day:

To walk with Giants, you need to think like a giant, hear like them, talk like them, and for all you know it, even a miniscule mouse can climb mountains. IBN ZAWAWI

Need to update on my life. Yesterday was sweet, to my fellow excos, thank you, from my deepest hearts, you are what people call friends.

Tmr is the formal ceremony. I must muster strength so that i wun tear. Haha. Cannot wait for this tuesday. I'll soar with the fighters.

Latenights and band practices are driving me nuts. But overall, i have a fun time.

"POK POK POK, BUJANG LAPOK, ADA MANCIS TAK ADA ROKOK, JALAN JAUH TERSENGUK-SENGUK, POKET KOSONG HAI TELOK ABOK"

Renungkanlah kekata2 ini. Biar ia menjadi pedoman buat ramai.

Wsslm.