pain

im in pain..

"Fighting all the demons will take time.."

I got to heal fast.. cuz i feel so much pain i've never felt.. angst, sadness, it perturbs me..

I had to do it farz.. Im sorry.. Its the only way for you to realise how beautiful you are, n how much u need to love yourself first before you could love me..

Im none but a person with a black hole.. Empty like a vessel.. Thou i may seem to be cheerful and full of crap.. Haish.. I guess no one would ever understand how i think, how i feel..

There's more to abg then what ayg may think i am..

No matter what, I'll always love you, n i'll wait for you..

Hope you're reading dis, n the songs dat i wanted to pass you are all here for you to hear.. take care dear..

You seem to not understand what i meant by live in moments..

Someone taught me dis wen i was in jc1, she told me that life have to be taken a step at a time, and wen u live your life per day basis, things wud be better sumtimes..

She is quite true, but i'd rather live in moments that take my breathe away..

Let say, we are having a sweet time together eating ice cream.. I make that moment last forever, n it becomes more than a memory, a powerful patronus dat becomes a guardian..

And so, whenever im alone, in the woods, or mountains, tired and in stress, in need of an angel, all i need is to relive that moment, and it wud be enuf to make me smile that'll cheer me up the rest of the intense day.

Live by moments.. We have the power to choose which moments we wanna crystallise it to be a shell, so that whenever we feel so defenseless, we seek shelter from such shell, in that small confine space of shell, we find happiness that thou temporary, enuf to make us happy or smile..

It makes us stronger, or weaker..

All i need from you farz, is the understanding of this philosophy. This might just make us stronger...

Im always thinkin of you, day n nite..

Kau tercipta untukku farz, dan aku takkan hilangkan perasaan ini, kerna ia amat bangat sekali istimewa bagi ku. Aku tidak mampu menulis ia menjadi kata-kata, tapi hanya mampu ku suntik ia dalam irama bayu yang selalu meniup di mukamu pabila kau renung panjang di luar kamar..

Percayalah, kerna sesungguhnya hanya tuhan sahaja yang tahu isi hati ini..

Its either we grow stronger, or we will fall. Its your choice. Thou im still angry, im cooling down.. I wanna make it happen ayg, n i cannot do it alone..

PS: i dunno wad to say alr. :(