help

Its coming back.. I could feel it.. Its been away for months.. Yea, the monster.. I could feel its coming, haunting me again.. I hate it when he went back to camp.. He kinda changed.. It was not like dis wen we were together for the months that he was home.. I could feel the difference.. He was that wadeva kinda man, albeit couldn't be bothered.. His words was sharp and cold.. I do feel terguris.. Perhaps its due to the probs he's facin at work.. Im tryin to be there for him.. I have been prayin that things will go well for him.. Tsk.. Its unlike the months he was at home.. I feel liberated.. We enjoyed each other's company, though we do have a few hiccups here and there.. But it was so blissful.. Till he went back.. N he went back to his old self.. Im trying hard to be there for him.. I knoe its hard, e probs he's facin in camp n all.. Yesterday, last nite was like gave me a synopsis.. Im beginning to feel and have the fear to face the monster again.. Its imminent coming.. Is it just me? Why can't i do wad he wants e to do.. Am i dat useless?.. Dat stupid?.. When things go wrong, i dunno how to react.. Dunno wad to say.. Dunno wad to do.. My mind suddenly feel like its empty.. The fear is there.. N im feelin scared.. Im feelin so useless rite now.... N i cant shake it away.. Oh God.... I won't fear if ur here wimme... =( Please dun let it happen... I pray n beseech u Almighty God.. Mama, help me pls?... I need u...