At last I was able to let it go. Macam si Suhaimi Yusoff cakap, the package has been drop, the matrix has been reloaded. I guess you guys don't have a clue do ya. Well, let me xplain.
Do you guys know or remember a picture I once mentioned, the one i sketched, and it took alot of work to complete that, like its one of the natural wonders of the world?
Don't call me michelangelo, but its like, i sketched it from my heart you see. Now every nook and cranny, every eyelid, every hair flowing from the inner root to the outer rim, its all in my mind. I can picture it as clear as the watery blue.
Now i gave it to her. Back. It doesn't belong to me, you see. As a birthday gift. Well, perhaps to her its just a pic of sorts. But to me, its more to it. It contains the very essence of the elements she taught me, or in fact, introduced it to me. It was love. And i put every element and essence of that into that picture. I used to just stare blankly at those beady eyes, and like just flow my life into that picture, in hopes of making it alive. Like pinocchio u c. But regardless of what i do, it'll just smile back blankly at my pitiful face, unknown, unexplored. I hence i knew what i must do. It doesn't belong to me. It has to go back to its owner.
And i gave it back. Last saturday. There was this mixture of guilt, relief, sympathy, sadness, and i must say, happiness. A feeling that i can't exactly pinpoint the right mixture of ingredients. I just smiled and laughed it all off, that's me ryt. But deep inside i knew, i have to let it go. Let it all go. And hold on to the very sweet memories that made me the man i would become to be.
So know, tonight, i shall work hard, i type out the sweet most virtue and innocent love of Muhd. Hazlami. His love life. His very first, that made him what he is right now. I shall not hesitate to type it out, nor reluctant to leave any single info about how it all started. I believe it is a must for me to share my love with the people, woth the crowd, with the world, in hopes that one day, i will be loved as how i have loved before.
For God, Muhammad, and the Muslims all across the nation, i give you, my life biography.
And i do this with reasons. Not to hurt anyone, but with a simple reason to tell.
Every human being needs love. It differentiates us from others. Love, iman, taqwa, morality, everything plays a part in this life. Success is not about academic performances, or how much money you make, but more of how much life you take. How much life you take before you leave to the next, where it is forever.
I give you, my love, my story, my life, and my heart. And to do this, i shall share it all out. Not the bad ones, for I think i have suffer a particular memory lost bout that. Haha. All the good ones, yes. All the good ones. And i hope you would understand, and hope that one day, we shall all be happy.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Shocking News: WHO IS SITI'S LOVER?!?!?!
I was shocked. Shit. Really. This morning i started the day by reading the local newspaper Berita Harian. Guess what??
To all siti nurhaliza's fans, i must say that it really sucks to see Siti happily opens up her love life to the press, depriving you and me from the chance of a lifetime to be her love (chey, mcm bleh dapat gitu, mamak bawah block jual aiscream tk bleh ngurat, ini pula siti? haha).
I must say, who the hell is Datuk K?!?! His picture in the news horrifies me. As in, come on man, siti is like THE woman off all time, and that guy in the pic has a moustache??!
Although it is true that i must be happy for her, WHAT THE HELL!!!
SHE SHOULD BE MINE!!!
PS: Im not a psycho, just disappointed that her love is some MY guy. Previous experience taught me never to mix MY people, pasal dorang tu cam cetek ah in terms of pemikiran.
Ade ituari yg gua pegi MY, aku berkenalan ngan budak MY ni. Baru jugak aku dah malas nak layan die. Dah lah tipu aku umur die, (umur die 16 tahun ni, muda nk mampos, mane interesting beb) die punyerlah immature. Abestos, aku kene maki hamun (specific: aku disuruh bogel oleh kakak die) pasal aku dah tk layan die. Ko imagine bill yg aku kene bayor. Mcm taik kan.
Oh, aku dah tk sedih sgt pasal result aku, psl aku dah berserah pd Tuhan. Sometimes, Tuhan atur hidop aku, such that mungkin die kasi aku gagal untuk kali ini agar aku diberi kekuatan untuk ujian2 yg akan datang. Mungkin die tak kasi aku riak kalau aku dah dapat markah bagus. Atau die dah aturkan rezeki aku, maner tau aku dah besao panjang jadi businessman ke, marketing director ke, journalist ke, ahli politik ke. Tapi yg pasti, aku tiap2 hari berdoa dan bermohon dapat masuk bioengineering aku. Dan tak lupa jugak, kalau tak diberi, aku dapat yg lebih baik.
Oh, permohonan aku untuk defer NS atas sebab nak retake Alevel kene tolak, pasal result aku ok. Itulah dia, negara Singapuraku yg tersyg (blardie hell). Mcm aku nak larikan diri dari NS gitu. Nilah NS, menyusahkan langsung. Psl tulah aku nak migrate dari tempat lahabao ni, hohoho. Tapi takpe, aku ade Pilot Medical Check Up soon, you guys doakan aku lah ye, bukan aku nak riak (nausubillah minzalik), tapi aku betul2 harap dapat masuk RSAF. Doakan ye, sesama Islam lah k? Maner tau aku dpt harumkan nama Islam. Insya'allah.
To all siti nurhaliza's fans, i must say that it really sucks to see Siti happily opens up her love life to the press, depriving you and me from the chance of a lifetime to be her love (chey, mcm bleh dapat gitu, mamak bawah block jual aiscream tk bleh ngurat, ini pula siti? haha).
I must say, who the hell is Datuk K?!?! His picture in the news horrifies me. As in, come on man, siti is like THE woman off all time, and that guy in the pic has a moustache??!
Although it is true that i must be happy for her, WHAT THE HELL!!!
SHE SHOULD BE MINE!!!
PS: Im not a psycho, just disappointed that her love is some MY guy. Previous experience taught me never to mix MY people, pasal dorang tu cam cetek ah in terms of pemikiran.
Ade ituari yg gua pegi MY, aku berkenalan ngan budak MY ni. Baru jugak aku dah malas nak layan die. Dah lah tipu aku umur die, (umur die 16 tahun ni, muda nk mampos, mane interesting beb) die punyerlah immature. Abestos, aku kene maki hamun (specific: aku disuruh bogel oleh kakak die) pasal aku dah tk layan die. Ko imagine bill yg aku kene bayor. Mcm taik kan.
Oh, aku dah tk sedih sgt pasal result aku, psl aku dah berserah pd Tuhan. Sometimes, Tuhan atur hidop aku, such that mungkin die kasi aku gagal untuk kali ini agar aku diberi kekuatan untuk ujian2 yg akan datang. Mungkin die tak kasi aku riak kalau aku dah dapat markah bagus. Atau die dah aturkan rezeki aku, maner tau aku dah besao panjang jadi businessman ke, marketing director ke, journalist ke, ahli politik ke. Tapi yg pasti, aku tiap2 hari berdoa dan bermohon dapat masuk bioengineering aku. Dan tak lupa jugak, kalau tak diberi, aku dapat yg lebih baik.
Oh, permohonan aku untuk defer NS atas sebab nak retake Alevel kene tolak, pasal result aku ok. Itulah dia, negara Singapuraku yg tersyg (blardie hell). Mcm aku nak larikan diri dari NS gitu. Nilah NS, menyusahkan langsung. Psl tulah aku nak migrate dari tempat lahabao ni, hohoho. Tapi takpe, aku ade Pilot Medical Check Up soon, you guys doakan aku lah ye, bukan aku nak riak (nausubillah minzalik), tapi aku betul2 harap dapat masuk RSAF. Doakan ye, sesama Islam lah k? Maner tau aku dpt harumkan nama Islam. Insya'allah.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Faith is the heart of all desires
The prophet once said, "When God loves someone, He would test him. If he/she stood patient, then he/she would be chosen. And if he/she redha, then God make him/her among the chosen"
Faith is among the things I once stood upon during my earlier days as a teenager. Faith brought me to great friends whom by far puts upmost concern overmy well-being. Faith broughtme closer to God, where He taught me things like redha, like patience, dreams, goals, hopes and plights of the weak. I remained a low profilic species upon this earth, untouched,unsowed, and was let ripe under the bright sun. Faith taught me about love, to God and the Prophet (pbuh), and to my family.
Then came my JC years. Unfortunate to say, i gain a few knuts butlost a bag of galleons. I was totally lost. The previous victory in my OLevels taught me nothing but pride and happiness.
I did not work hard enough. I lost for the first time in my life. I let down my family and friends for the first time in my life. Although my results where considered ok, it wasn't what i hoped for.
Yesterday, upon reaching my crib, i sat down on the prayer mat and cried. I didn't whisper to God, instead, i spoke to him aloud in space and unknown time. I told him, why was i lost God? Is this your test to me? So that i can grow stronger than this,and be the best, not just the best, but the top student in my future endeavours? That was my dream back then,remember? I whispered to you, in the your very house, to make me smart and clever so that i can be the khalifah of the earth, so that i can be among the ulama' of islam, like Imam Nawawi, or Imam Syafi'e. is this oneof the paths i have togo through? Im sad, oh God. Im very disappointed with myself.
A request was made that fateful day.
"Oh mighty God, make this day an unforgettable day forme, so that i can use itto fuel myself forward, and show the whole world what Hazlami is capable of, and guide me along the way, protect me from riak and takabur, so that i can follow the path bestowed by the your beloved messenger. Make me among those who serve you with ikhlas, and jihad with knowledge and wealth. So that i can bring my family to a place of happiness. So that i can bring up the name of Islam, and show the world what a muslim can do."
Im still sad though. Admission date lingers nearer than i have expected it to be. Hopes of being the yop notch in the bioengineering sector diminishesbefore my eyes.
I plead to those who See what i See,who Feel what i Feel, pray for me.
PS: I'll show those buggers who bragged about their results. So what if you got your A's. I'll show you whose gonna earn more, and i'll assure you, i fall, i'll get up with a bang, and i shall learn not to fall again. I'll beat you. I promise. Not hatred. But pure competition.
Get your engines going, cause im all fired up for another round. Once im in my faculty (insyaalah) i show you guys what does it mean to be Hazlami.
Hasta Pronto.
(sori guys for not updating, been working on a book im writing,its called: AD-DIN, THE WAY TO GOD, perhaps once i get it done,i'll extract some of the contents for you guys to read. Its all about learning who you really are,and who that creates you, and the connections of all living life, a path of tasawuf and sufism.)
Faith is among the things I once stood upon during my earlier days as a teenager. Faith brought me to great friends whom by far puts upmost concern overmy well-being. Faith broughtme closer to God, where He taught me things like redha, like patience, dreams, goals, hopes and plights of the weak. I remained a low profilic species upon this earth, untouched,unsowed, and was let ripe under the bright sun. Faith taught me about love, to God and the Prophet (pbuh), and to my family.
Then came my JC years. Unfortunate to say, i gain a few knuts butlost a bag of galleons. I was totally lost. The previous victory in my OLevels taught me nothing but pride and happiness.
I did not work hard enough. I lost for the first time in my life. I let down my family and friends for the first time in my life. Although my results where considered ok, it wasn't what i hoped for.
Yesterday, upon reaching my crib, i sat down on the prayer mat and cried. I didn't whisper to God, instead, i spoke to him aloud in space and unknown time. I told him, why was i lost God? Is this your test to me? So that i can grow stronger than this,and be the best, not just the best, but the top student in my future endeavours? That was my dream back then,remember? I whispered to you, in the your very house, to make me smart and clever so that i can be the khalifah of the earth, so that i can be among the ulama' of islam, like Imam Nawawi, or Imam Syafi'e. is this oneof the paths i have togo through? Im sad, oh God. Im very disappointed with myself.
A request was made that fateful day.
"Oh mighty God, make this day an unforgettable day forme, so that i can use itto fuel myself forward, and show the whole world what Hazlami is capable of, and guide me along the way, protect me from riak and takabur, so that i can follow the path bestowed by the your beloved messenger. Make me among those who serve you with ikhlas, and jihad with knowledge and wealth. So that i can bring my family to a place of happiness. So that i can bring up the name of Islam, and show the world what a muslim can do."
Im still sad though. Admission date lingers nearer than i have expected it to be. Hopes of being the yop notch in the bioengineering sector diminishesbefore my eyes.
I plead to those who See what i See,who Feel what i Feel, pray for me.
PS: I'll show those buggers who bragged about their results. So what if you got your A's. I'll show you whose gonna earn more, and i'll assure you, i fall, i'll get up with a bang, and i shall learn not to fall again. I'll beat you. I promise. Not hatred. But pure competition.
Get your engines going, cause im all fired up for another round. Once im in my faculty (insyaalah) i show you guys what does it mean to be Hazlami.
Hasta Pronto.
(sori guys for not updating, been working on a book im writing,its called: AD-DIN, THE WAY TO GOD, perhaps once i get it done,i'll extract some of the contents for you guys to read. Its all about learning who you really are,and who that creates you, and the connections of all living life, a path of tasawuf and sufism.)
Friday, December 23, 2005
Shaggedelic: The one time virus that is rawkin the nation
Im back, whee he. At last, i am given the absolute power to do stuff on the internet. Its been like wad, 3 months? Goodness, it feels so refreshing. And to tap it all off, i actually exercised for like, 6 hours of non-stop physical activity. 3 days of straight gym work, and today, after friday prayers (andstill, i do see people, or shud i specifically recall, mat lepak and etc do NOT go to friday prayers. Eh, u guys pray 2 times a year issit? ) i actually played soccer till 6pm with my soccer pals. And i only had 2 prata (or in Negeri Sembilan, they call it roti canai, and for ur info, if u do ask for roti prata, they'll cooked it with lots of planta as topping, roti planta, haha, interesting..) And to end it all off, my father asked me to fetch him from Sheng Siong to carry goods. Imagine the horror of carrying two extremely heavy piece of worth crap from Ten Mile Junction to Senja Rd, nt to mention the extra 1km run from Teck Whye to Shen Siong (the place where i played). Sheesh,bug complains from the Respected One.
I want to mention my experience as an innocent angel (yeah, right u are) clubbin' till late night. Only two trips, and it is enuf for me nt to ever go there animore. Went to M.O.S( Ministry of Sound) on wed, and my only intention of going is to accompany my good old friend, Brennan, who appears to hv free entry tix for two. And so we went, lined up with the rest of them, and in i go.
Rule no 1: Get urself an oxygen tank if u must, cuz the air there really intoxifies u. Full of CIGARETTE SMOKE (the boldlines infers my absolute hatred to smokers. Why in the ruddy hell do God invent cigarettes?)
Rule no 2: Get urself a companionship, a variety of ppl, boring ones and happening ones,and bring female human beings if u must
Rule no 3: Do NOT buy any drinks in there, even if u suffer from hydration, for the love of God, pls DON'T
Rule no 4: Beware of the drunk. Especially women, who cannot hold their liquor. There's this once at MOS, a gurl came directly at me an attempt a dirty dance, and started kissing my jacket, and altho she is H.O.T, it really isn't right. She ended up kissing some other guy. And im really not regretting it. she wasn't herself anyway, most of them are. But i am not like those people. I am, Hazlami, Hazlami. And i dun drink, one night stands, court girls, smoke or wadever. I am as clean as the bleach solution that bleaches clothes.
Rule no. 5: Always make sure you are yourself throughout the party. This advice goes to those Muslims like me who goes clubbin just to find some experience of wad they call, Night Life. And really, if you are a person of pure principle, insteadof forcing yourse;fto be wild, or lose yourself, you make conclusions, inferrential facts, thinking statements, or shud i say, wise outlook of the whole clubbin' issue. That is exactly wad i did. At MOS that is. @ Rave, it was a total different thing (Astaghfirullah)
Rule no 6:Never judge a person there. The one rule of the thumb is to let yourself loose. And so, the person you are dancing with is really not his/herself.
Im sharing this outlook solely to give people the inside story. Really nt for fun, or shit ass things. Our parents use to say, "Don't go to these places,it would not do you good", or the cliche version "Tempat tu maksiat, rumah syaithan".
Seeing is believing. And i went there to clarify my doubts: Why do clubs pose a great risk to people. How does it shape our lives. What if it is not there,can we live w/o it. What attractions does it have that make people drain their pockets on vodka lime that they themselves know would make them sick, or even worse, drunk.
And Mr Hazlami would give his utter insides later. (He did not bring his personal journal with him at this cafe.So bear with him aite)
There is a qn i would like to pose here. If you notice the tagger who says, nvm, just try2 lar, who noes it will work(my version), let us think twice, and wear our rational caps on.
My name is Hazlami. I live in Bukit Panjang. I grew up in a moderately poor family of religious principles. My mum is a ustazah who teaches peopleto read the Holy Quran and fiqh. My father holds 'tasawuf' in his very heart, and he himself is a teacher in Dunearn Sec (to wrap it all up, he is like the Gandalf the White of LOTR plus Yoda of Star Wars, he can read your face and says, you never salawah [a prayer to praise the Messenger of God], or, you haven pray yet, and yes, he can read your mind as perfectly as he could, so no point lying to him, he would probably have known it a couple of days back when he dreams about you going out with a girl, or perhaps, sees the image in your beady eyes,sheesh). And i too practise the ways of the tasawuf, to instead of living the life, you conclude life. And i live in the worships of Allah and Rasul, and practise the syariah. So frankly speaking, im the type your mum would wanna match make with. And, im the type who adheres to the very meaning of 'feelings' every human being possess.
So my ans is simply, i have broken too many hearts, and i totally lost mine. Who would dare offer their hearts to me, to keep me beating for love? I would not want to break any more hearts. It is better to love God and His messenger,cuz for surethey would nt break mine. Im entirely looking for a women who can really reallymake me smile right now. who can willingly take care of me when i am sick.Who holds promises dearly at heart. Who would never double cross me, even if she hasdone that before. Who can at last, convince me that love is a beautiful butterfly, not a fire-breathing dragon. Who is patient and help me wen im down in the dumps. who possess the ability to brighten my life with a single smile,or perhaps, words of love and encouragment. Who prays for our realtionship to last. Who is really serious, and would put her life to keep it going. Who is willingly to commit herself to me.
Cuz for sure, i wud do the same, if she gives her heart to me. Cuz frankly speaking, im hollow right now.Zero. Empty. Numb is a feeling i wud use to describe wad i feel.
It is happy to know that i have friends out there who cares for me, and would willingly offer a hand of friendship. and im really happy to have them, cuz they make me happy. But companionship? Why at 18 already do we assert ourselves to find companions, who in return, would not last. Now i believe wad Diana has to say.Love cannit last. Partially that is. Love is everlasting,only if you believe in it. And it takes both parties to put friendship, commitment, and care to make it forever. And i absolutely disagree to those excuses, saying that, "I want to end this relationship because i love you."
Stupid you people would remain. Ignorant shall you suffer. How can you love someone so much you want him to end a beautiful memorable picture if u and him. Ape, erm, alasan like "I want you to be happy,and this is the only way."
Damned. Does it bring happiness to them? They can move on, yes they can.But forget? Surely you peoplemust realise how hurtful it is. Oh, it is only short term pain. Rubbish. Pain tetap pain.Sakit will always be sakit. You would never embark on a journey of a lifetime just to end up throwing the person off the boat, hoping somehow he finds a better ship with better sails. Have you peopleever consider the person could have drown?
Think. God gives you brains to differentiate you from animals. Peoplewho do not think, sori to say, are like animals themselves. The least a dog could do was to show compassion at the death bed of his master. Not that im implying it totally to me,or wad i have experience. This topic goes to all across the board.
Never use that excuse ever again. Trust me, it'll haunt you to your death and hereafter even if you think you have forgotten.Hazlami never forgets, nor does he condemns. I forgive. And i share it to people so they would not suffer like me. Got chucked out of the 'attatched' club 3 times, and chuck people outta ma freaking closet 5 times. And till now, i condemn myself for breaking the heartsof 8 women and gurls. And really, it is not something i shud brag about. Serious.
Im ending my chapter by saying, "Never cheat, lie, or drink. If u must cheat, cheat cheaters. If u must lie, lie life. If you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breathe away."(kk, last part tu je cam citer The Hitch, yg lain, aku nyer hahaha)
PS: Thx tu Khairul Ruzaini for reading word by word posted here in this blog.I owe you a lifetime of support.
I want to mention my experience as an innocent angel (yeah, right u are) clubbin' till late night. Only two trips, and it is enuf for me nt to ever go there animore. Went to M.O.S( Ministry of Sound) on wed, and my only intention of going is to accompany my good old friend, Brennan, who appears to hv free entry tix for two. And so we went, lined up with the rest of them, and in i go.
Rule no 1: Get urself an oxygen tank if u must, cuz the air there really intoxifies u. Full of CIGARETTE SMOKE (the boldlines infers my absolute hatred to smokers. Why in the ruddy hell do God invent cigarettes?)
Rule no 2: Get urself a companionship, a variety of ppl, boring ones and happening ones,and bring female human beings if u must
Rule no 3: Do NOT buy any drinks in there, even if u suffer from hydration, for the love of God, pls DON'T
Rule no 4: Beware of the drunk. Especially women, who cannot hold their liquor. There's this once at MOS, a gurl came directly at me an attempt a dirty dance, and started kissing my jacket, and altho she is H.O.T, it really isn't right. She ended up kissing some other guy. And im really not regretting it. she wasn't herself anyway, most of them are. But i am not like those people. I am, Hazlami, Hazlami. And i dun drink, one night stands, court girls, smoke or wadever. I am as clean as the bleach solution that bleaches clothes.
Rule no. 5: Always make sure you are yourself throughout the party. This advice goes to those Muslims like me who goes clubbin just to find some experience of wad they call, Night Life. And really, if you are a person of pure principle, insteadof forcing yourse;fto be wild, or lose yourself, you make conclusions, inferrential facts, thinking statements, or shud i say, wise outlook of the whole clubbin' issue. That is exactly wad i did. At MOS that is. @ Rave, it was a total different thing (Astaghfirullah)
Rule no 6:Never judge a person there. The one rule of the thumb is to let yourself loose. And so, the person you are dancing with is really not his/herself.
Im sharing this outlook solely to give people the inside story. Really nt for fun, or shit ass things. Our parents use to say, "Don't go to these places,it would not do you good", or the cliche version "Tempat tu maksiat, rumah syaithan".
Seeing is believing. And i went there to clarify my doubts: Why do clubs pose a great risk to people. How does it shape our lives. What if it is not there,can we live w/o it. What attractions does it have that make people drain their pockets on vodka lime that they themselves know would make them sick, or even worse, drunk.
And Mr Hazlami would give his utter insides later. (He did not bring his personal journal with him at this cafe.So bear with him aite)
There is a qn i would like to pose here. If you notice the tagger who says, nvm, just try2 lar, who noes it will work(my version), let us think twice, and wear our rational caps on.
My name is Hazlami. I live in Bukit Panjang. I grew up in a moderately poor family of religious principles. My mum is a ustazah who teaches peopleto read the Holy Quran and fiqh. My father holds 'tasawuf' in his very heart, and he himself is a teacher in Dunearn Sec (to wrap it all up, he is like the Gandalf the White of LOTR plus Yoda of Star Wars, he can read your face and says, you never salawah [a prayer to praise the Messenger of God], or, you haven pray yet, and yes, he can read your mind as perfectly as he could, so no point lying to him, he would probably have known it a couple of days back when he dreams about you going out with a girl, or perhaps, sees the image in your beady eyes,sheesh). And i too practise the ways of the tasawuf, to instead of living the life, you conclude life. And i live in the worships of Allah and Rasul, and practise the syariah. So frankly speaking, im the type your mum would wanna match make with. And, im the type who adheres to the very meaning of 'feelings' every human being possess.
So my ans is simply, i have broken too many hearts, and i totally lost mine. Who would dare offer their hearts to me, to keep me beating for love? I would not want to break any more hearts. It is better to love God and His messenger,cuz for surethey would nt break mine. Im entirely looking for a women who can really reallymake me smile right now. who can willingly take care of me when i am sick.Who holds promises dearly at heart. Who would never double cross me, even if she hasdone that before. Who can at last, convince me that love is a beautiful butterfly, not a fire-breathing dragon. Who is patient and help me wen im down in the dumps. who possess the ability to brighten my life with a single smile,or perhaps, words of love and encouragment. Who prays for our realtionship to last. Who is really serious, and would put her life to keep it going. Who is willingly to commit herself to me.
Cuz for sure, i wud do the same, if she gives her heart to me. Cuz frankly speaking, im hollow right now.Zero. Empty. Numb is a feeling i wud use to describe wad i feel.
It is happy to know that i have friends out there who cares for me, and would willingly offer a hand of friendship. and im really happy to have them, cuz they make me happy. But companionship? Why at 18 already do we assert ourselves to find companions, who in return, would not last. Now i believe wad Diana has to say.Love cannit last. Partially that is. Love is everlasting,only if you believe in it. And it takes both parties to put friendship, commitment, and care to make it forever. And i absolutely disagree to those excuses, saying that, "I want to end this relationship because i love you."
Stupid you people would remain. Ignorant shall you suffer. How can you love someone so much you want him to end a beautiful memorable picture if u and him. Ape, erm, alasan like "I want you to be happy,and this is the only way."
Damned. Does it bring happiness to them? They can move on, yes they can.But forget? Surely you peoplemust realise how hurtful it is. Oh, it is only short term pain. Rubbish. Pain tetap pain.Sakit will always be sakit. You would never embark on a journey of a lifetime just to end up throwing the person off the boat, hoping somehow he finds a better ship with better sails. Have you peopleever consider the person could have drown?
Think. God gives you brains to differentiate you from animals. Peoplewho do not think, sori to say, are like animals themselves. The least a dog could do was to show compassion at the death bed of his master. Not that im implying it totally to me,or wad i have experience. This topic goes to all across the board.
Never use that excuse ever again. Trust me, it'll haunt you to your death and hereafter even if you think you have forgotten.Hazlami never forgets, nor does he condemns. I forgive. And i share it to people so they would not suffer like me. Got chucked out of the 'attatched' club 3 times, and chuck people outta ma freaking closet 5 times. And till now, i condemn myself for breaking the heartsof 8 women and gurls. And really, it is not something i shud brag about. Serious.
Im ending my chapter by saying, "Never cheat, lie, or drink. If u must cheat, cheat cheaters. If u must lie, lie life. If you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breathe away."(kk, last part tu je cam citer The Hitch, yg lain, aku nyer hahaha)
PS: Thx tu Khairul Ruzaini for reading word by word posted here in this blog.I owe you a lifetime of support.
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Rectifying the pro-active problem
Necessary actions need to be taken to contain my lust for broken, breaking or going-to-break relationships. To produce solutions, first and foremost the issue must be discussed.
Why, at the age of 18, do boys-to-men like me desire the company of women?
1. Women at this age and below or above have the natural attractiveness that would make any men inclined to have unsurpassed incontrolable relationships.
2. Men at this age would need a company so that he could go thru NS with ease (or other words, taking advantage lar)
3. Women simply ouplays men at dis age.
4. Women portray themselves as a medium for men like me as a shoulder to cry on.
But wadever the reason is, i noe FOR HELL SURE that i would NEVER SUCCEED in getting a SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP.
This is evident by my recent admissal from the 'attatched' club. And of course my other 2 rejections. And of course, nt to mention i rejected 5 ladies.
dat makes 8. 8 relationships that go off course. wtf?!
My bro use to say, wen the time comes, it'll come, but if u got hold of the moment, than catch it, if not, i'll fly away.
That means i slip 3 birds and ran away from 5 oncoming birds that kept pecking my chest, demanding the right of passage to my heart.
Tell u the truth, remember watching Kuch Kuch Hota Hai?
You can never forget your first love. My first love is, tkde lain tk bukan, Nur Aishah whom many might have known, especially my close frens. The thought of 'those days' (haha, nadiah, i still believe it's true) makes me excited and all flimsy. But the deeper you dwell in, the more pain u feel. But im the type who would delve deeper than anyone would think. And to think of it, she thought me the very basic lesson of life.
LOVE. And before that, all i know of that word was stewpig lomantic lovey dovey kissy wheezy thingy which gurls of that age love ta experience, but for me, its all bout me me me, and soccer that is.
Until i troud over the path that met me to her, i suddenly grew out of it. And till this very day, i shall always treasure that moment when my path met hers. It was erm, during lunch, first orientation day at AJC, where i was eating lunch with my malay frens after the Friday prayers. At that mo, she didnt saw me, but i saw her haha. Remembered how i was, so excited and happy, called up 3 frens spontaneously, brennan, kamarul and nadiah anak basiron.
Den blah blah blah. And it ended so hurtful and miserable i dun dare mention it ever. And till now, both me and her cudnt work out the end. I have alot of reasons to it, but as the hazlami, i was the one at fault. (thx to nadiah who told me how it feels like to be in her shoes).
Piar. It is a dangerous yet perfect word in disguise.
And to tell u the truth, i shall let it out right now. This very moment, Hazlami will tell u his deep dark secret that took him 2 years to say it out.
Treasure this moment, aish, for this is for u, only for u, not for noone, just u.
Here it goes.....
I shall stand on my promise, to put Aishah as my first and last woman i'll ever love. And even if there's someone else out there, i can only gif 70% of my soul and energy to that person. Reason?
Kuch Kuch hota hai. There is something in this world that is unexplainable.
Fuh, alhamdulillah, i have let it all out. I feel better now. Maybe. :/
Why, at the age of 18, do boys-to-men like me desire the company of women?
1. Women at this age and below or above have the natural attractiveness that would make any men inclined to have unsurpassed incontrolable relationships.
2. Men at this age would need a company so that he could go thru NS with ease (or other words, taking advantage lar)
3. Women simply ouplays men at dis age.
4. Women portray themselves as a medium for men like me as a shoulder to cry on.
But wadever the reason is, i noe FOR HELL SURE that i would NEVER SUCCEED in getting a SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP.
This is evident by my recent admissal from the 'attatched' club. And of course my other 2 rejections. And of course, nt to mention i rejected 5 ladies.
dat makes 8. 8 relationships that go off course. wtf?!
My bro use to say, wen the time comes, it'll come, but if u got hold of the moment, than catch it, if not, i'll fly away.
That means i slip 3 birds and ran away from 5 oncoming birds that kept pecking my chest, demanding the right of passage to my heart.
Tell u the truth, remember watching Kuch Kuch Hota Hai?
You can never forget your first love. My first love is, tkde lain tk bukan, Nur Aishah whom many might have known, especially my close frens. The thought of 'those days' (haha, nadiah, i still believe it's true) makes me excited and all flimsy. But the deeper you dwell in, the more pain u feel. But im the type who would delve deeper than anyone would think. And to think of it, she thought me the very basic lesson of life.
LOVE. And before that, all i know of that word was stewpig lomantic lovey dovey kissy wheezy thingy which gurls of that age love ta experience, but for me, its all bout me me me, and soccer that is.
Until i troud over the path that met me to her, i suddenly grew out of it. And till this very day, i shall always treasure that moment when my path met hers. It was erm, during lunch, first orientation day at AJC, where i was eating lunch with my malay frens after the Friday prayers. At that mo, she didnt saw me, but i saw her haha. Remembered how i was, so excited and happy, called up 3 frens spontaneously, brennan, kamarul and nadiah anak basiron.
Den blah blah blah. And it ended so hurtful and miserable i dun dare mention it ever. And till now, both me and her cudnt work out the end. I have alot of reasons to it, but as the hazlami, i was the one at fault. (thx to nadiah who told me how it feels like to be in her shoes).
Piar. It is a dangerous yet perfect word in disguise.
And to tell u the truth, i shall let it out right now. This very moment, Hazlami will tell u his deep dark secret that took him 2 years to say it out.
Treasure this moment, aish, for this is for u, only for u, not for noone, just u.
Here it goes.....
I shall stand on my promise, to put Aishah as my first and last woman i'll ever love. And even if there's someone else out there, i can only gif 70% of my soul and energy to that person. Reason?
Kuch Kuch hota hai. There is something in this world that is unexplainable.
Fuh, alhamdulillah, i have let it all out. I feel better now. Maybe. :/
Monday, December 19, 2005
a big laugh for the big loser
It is the end. Im opening a new chapter. I've finally accepted that im a loser in r/ships.
Boohoo.
I suck, period.
Im single right now. And its going to stay this way for my entire life.
Hasta Pronto.
Boohoo.
I suck, period.
Im single right now. And its going to stay this way for my entire life.
Hasta Pronto.
Saturday, December 10, 2005
my journey.
It seems my journey is prolonged. Im leaving soon. And comin back home seems a faraway dream. Nt sure when Im coming back. Bt it doesn't matter anyway. Its for my own gd.
At least.
I passed my flight interview. One more test to go and im off flying to my dreams. Literally.
Had a much short phone conversation wiv Hamizan, my twin bro. Hearing us bck together as b4 makes comin bck home a one way tic to england. Thx bro, for forgiving me. I shall treasure u lyk i treasure my family.
Speaking of which, Im starting to miss her.
Dreamt of her, n of cuz not to mention my past sweetheart. Dun undastand hw come both of dem are in the same scene, at the same time. I woke up feeling utterly confused.
My old fren once asked me, "Wad if ur past comes and wants to start afresh wiv u?"
My ans?
I mite tend to accept her.
But now, my ans is "I donno".
Ps: thx Nad, ur doing great there by helping me. I owe u lunch *wiv mimi also la.. haha* N yes, im doing fine.
*N to You, wen u close my eyes, i saw u. Wen i open my eyes, i miss u. So, i prefer closing my eyes.
words of wisdom, courage, honour, prestige nvr goes out of style - Mindef.
Hasta Pronto.
At least.
I passed my flight interview. One more test to go and im off flying to my dreams. Literally.
Had a much short phone conversation wiv Hamizan, my twin bro. Hearing us bck together as b4 makes comin bck home a one way tic to england. Thx bro, for forgiving me. I shall treasure u lyk i treasure my family.
Speaking of which, Im starting to miss her.
Dreamt of her, n of cuz not to mention my past sweetheart. Dun undastand hw come both of dem are in the same scene, at the same time. I woke up feeling utterly confused.
My old fren once asked me, "Wad if ur past comes and wants to start afresh wiv u?"
My ans?
I mite tend to accept her.
But now, my ans is "I donno".
Ps: thx Nad, ur doing great there by helping me. I owe u lunch *wiv mimi also la.. haha* N yes, im doing fine.
*N to You, wen u close my eyes, i saw u. Wen i open my eyes, i miss u. So, i prefer closing my eyes.
words of wisdom, courage, honour, prestige nvr goes out of style - Mindef.
Hasta Pronto.
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Hazlami unleashed. Period
Prom nite was the best day of my life. period.
Enjoyed the whole program. Enjoyed looking smart and handsome. Enjoyed taking pics with beautiful ladies (ahem) and smart gentlemens..
And the after party was the highlight.
My first ever visit ti clubs.@ rave.
I went clubbin with my mates. The atmosphere was hot and heavy, the music superb. The peeps was rawking the house down.
When the pics are ready, i shall put it on my blog.
I wore this kind of 'Hitch' style and da, a fair bit of my own. Wanna say to all, hey, u guys look great!! Had a make-up done by my mummy.
Den went there and blah blah blah. Wad strike my head was this particular person who lookes astonishingly exquisite, with all the beauty i've never seen in my life.
And the person still hasn't left my brain entirely. Somehow,i think i hv a crush on her.But, she's chinese, im a bugis, how say? i dun mind lah, but some ppl mind the skin colour u c.Haiz. Untill now, still cannt get her of ma mind. The way she move, she talk, she puts herself forward, such beauty. Such life. She grooved her way thru my soul.
And the magic?
My heart started beating. It started to beat. It has been a long year.And my heart woke up from slumber.
It was a miracle. I nearly criedwhile i danced. But i kept my composure.
Anyways, it feels great to blog again. haha.got a lot of stories to tell.
Tmr, got RSAF interview. Fri, going overseas. Haish.
Overseas. nvr had the intention to go. the treatments, the boredom, wad else?
Haish. And i dun think i'll be cumin back early. It depends u c.
Heard from a fren of mine, there's someone who asked about me.Gosh. I thot u forgot me. Well, i cudnt forget u, but like i said, i did an assumption that u wud forget me. Thx for the thought anyway. Haish.
Nvm bout that, hmm, wad shud i write?oh yes, i wrote LOTS of sajaks this past few weeks, wud post them as soon as possible. Look out for my name in the news yeah?
Anyways, about prom, i think u shud be the prom queen, really, that gurl doesnt deserve it.
PS: You're beautiful. Shud have say dis to ya dat nite.
*You woke up my heart. It beats for you. It breathes your name. It loves you. Time will tell.*
Shall blog again tmr..
Enjoyed the whole program. Enjoyed looking smart and handsome. Enjoyed taking pics with beautiful ladies (ahem) and smart gentlemens..
And the after party was the highlight.
My first ever visit ti clubs.@ rave.
I went clubbin with my mates. The atmosphere was hot and heavy, the music superb. The peeps was rawking the house down.
When the pics are ready, i shall put it on my blog.
I wore this kind of 'Hitch' style and da, a fair bit of my own. Wanna say to all, hey, u guys look great!! Had a make-up done by my mummy.
Den went there and blah blah blah. Wad strike my head was this particular person who lookes astonishingly exquisite, with all the beauty i've never seen in my life.
And the person still hasn't left my brain entirely. Somehow,i think i hv a crush on her.But, she's chinese, im a bugis, how say? i dun mind lah, but some ppl mind the skin colour u c.Haiz. Untill now, still cannt get her of ma mind. The way she move, she talk, she puts herself forward, such beauty. Such life. She grooved her way thru my soul.
And the magic?
My heart started beating. It started to beat. It has been a long year.And my heart woke up from slumber.
It was a miracle. I nearly criedwhile i danced. But i kept my composure.
Anyways, it feels great to blog again. haha.got a lot of stories to tell.
Tmr, got RSAF interview. Fri, going overseas. Haish.
Overseas. nvr had the intention to go. the treatments, the boredom, wad else?
Haish. And i dun think i'll be cumin back early. It depends u c.
Heard from a fren of mine, there's someone who asked about me.Gosh. I thot u forgot me. Well, i cudnt forget u, but like i said, i did an assumption that u wud forget me. Thx for the thought anyway. Haish.
Nvm bout that, hmm, wad shud i write?oh yes, i wrote LOTS of sajaks this past few weeks, wud post them as soon as possible. Look out for my name in the news yeah?
Anyways, about prom, i think u shud be the prom queen, really, that gurl doesnt deserve it.
PS: You're beautiful. Shud have say dis to ya dat nite.
*You woke up my heart. It beats for you. It breathes your name. It loves you. Time will tell.*
Shall blog again tmr..
Saturday, October 22, 2005
Masalah demi masalah (or, problems and more problems..)
Gue berada di dlm wdlands library ngah blaja ngan abg gue ngan matair dier, cey, cam bodyguard plak aku..
Aku teraser cam budak menyebok jager tepi kain org plak, tapi, asal abang aku tk kesah, aku pon cam malas nak beri komentar..
Semuer kengkawan2 di skolah dah dpt surat NS dorang.
Sipot betol lar. Biler seh aku nyer turn?
Aku harap2 masok Civil Defence atau Police, takmo Army lah, mcm sipot je, asek kene tekan.
(Mizan dpt aper agaknyer eh? Boy scout eh? hahaha)
Kasihan aku kepada kengkawan2 poly aku yg tersyg. Haha. AKu masok dulu, nanti kalo ader naseb, aku jadik Officer, korang semuer kenelah padahnyer haha.
Maseh byk yg perlu aku blaja demi mengharungi exam yg aku raser begitu susah sekali. Tk penah aku amek exam sesusah cam nie, asek kene blaja je, sampai aku pat toilet pon ngah hafal concept2. (dah tak nyanyi dlm toilet ah)
Bad news: Aku gadoh lagik ngan si pompuan ciner tu. Dahlah asek bangun lambat, abeh asek question aku je. Ko tau tak, asek kene report je maner aku pegi, sampai kalo aku tak jawab msg dier, dier call rumah aku, tk sedap plak tu pasal kekadang MAK aku angkat.. ceh.
Bukan aku tk suker dier, aku cumer teraser cam terkongkong gitu, so beginilah rasernyer. Tapi, aku tkkan basted dier, dier budak baik dan ader reason disebalik knaper dier cenggitu ngan aku. Pasal tu aku ngah tunggu dier basted aku, baru orait. Bleh buat alasan kan? Tapi, Hazlami budak baik lar, tak buat cenggini. Aku budak yg taat setia. So, aku serahkan pada Tuhan, dan waktu yg ader.
Good news: Kengkawan Hongkah Pri Sch aku yg dah lamer aku tak nampak nak buat perjumpaan buka posa rame-rame. Hapi sae aku, dah lamer tk nmpk bebudak tu yg dah ceriakan hidop aku dlm zaman kanak-kanak aku.
Ader lagik, class aku dah organize chalet pat Pasir Ris situ, dua tingkat beb, abeh 3 hari, 2 malam lagik. Bonos! Puas gue main2 nanti, hehehehehe( evil-evil)
Ader lagik, jgn bilang saper saper tau, lagi2 yg tk paham bahaser melayu. Ahem.
Aku berjaya keluar ngan HAIRDRESSER aku haha. Skill tak aku? Padahal umor dier cam meningkat 21 tahun depan. Aku? Setakat 18tahun mentah. Budak tu interesting beb, dahlar rambot dier stail habes habesan, dier janji ngan aku nak buat rambot aku cam Tom Cruise, haha, merepek lah.
Tapi aku tak main2 ngan sape2 har, jgn ader pekeran negatif.
AKU HANYA NAK EXPAND SOCIAL CIRCLE aku, so, kalo aper2, ader backup, cam carik keje ke, ape ke, kan senang..
Haha, selagi bertemu di angin lalu..
Hasta prontos.
(still thinking of you..)
Aku teraser cam budak menyebok jager tepi kain org plak, tapi, asal abang aku tk kesah, aku pon cam malas nak beri komentar..
Semuer kengkawan2 di skolah dah dpt surat NS dorang.
Sipot betol lar. Biler seh aku nyer turn?
Aku harap2 masok Civil Defence atau Police, takmo Army lah, mcm sipot je, asek kene tekan.
(Mizan dpt aper agaknyer eh? Boy scout eh? hahaha)
Kasihan aku kepada kengkawan2 poly aku yg tersyg. Haha. AKu masok dulu, nanti kalo ader naseb, aku jadik Officer, korang semuer kenelah padahnyer haha.
Maseh byk yg perlu aku blaja demi mengharungi exam yg aku raser begitu susah sekali. Tk penah aku amek exam sesusah cam nie, asek kene blaja je, sampai aku pat toilet pon ngah hafal concept2. (dah tak nyanyi dlm toilet ah)
Bad news: Aku gadoh lagik ngan si pompuan ciner tu. Dahlah asek bangun lambat, abeh asek question aku je. Ko tau tak, asek kene report je maner aku pegi, sampai kalo aku tak jawab msg dier, dier call rumah aku, tk sedap plak tu pasal kekadang MAK aku angkat.. ceh.
Bukan aku tk suker dier, aku cumer teraser cam terkongkong gitu, so beginilah rasernyer. Tapi, aku tkkan basted dier, dier budak baik dan ader reason disebalik knaper dier cenggitu ngan aku. Pasal tu aku ngah tunggu dier basted aku, baru orait. Bleh buat alasan kan? Tapi, Hazlami budak baik lar, tak buat cenggini. Aku budak yg taat setia. So, aku serahkan pada Tuhan, dan waktu yg ader.
Good news: Kengkawan Hongkah Pri Sch aku yg dah lamer aku tak nampak nak buat perjumpaan buka posa rame-rame. Hapi sae aku, dah lamer tk nmpk bebudak tu yg dah ceriakan hidop aku dlm zaman kanak-kanak aku.
Ader lagik, class aku dah organize chalet pat Pasir Ris situ, dua tingkat beb, abeh 3 hari, 2 malam lagik. Bonos! Puas gue main2 nanti, hehehehehe( evil-evil)
Ader lagik, jgn bilang saper saper tau, lagi2 yg tk paham bahaser melayu. Ahem.
Aku berjaya keluar ngan HAIRDRESSER aku haha. Skill tak aku? Padahal umor dier cam meningkat 21 tahun depan. Aku? Setakat 18tahun mentah. Budak tu interesting beb, dahlar rambot dier stail habes habesan, dier janji ngan aku nak buat rambot aku cam Tom Cruise, haha, merepek lah.
Tapi aku tak main2 ngan sape2 har, jgn ader pekeran negatif.
AKU HANYA NAK EXPAND SOCIAL CIRCLE aku, so, kalo aper2, ader backup, cam carik keje ke, ape ke, kan senang..
Haha, selagi bertemu di angin lalu..
Hasta prontos.
(still thinking of you..)
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Obviously, its always when the end comes, people start appreciating your work, your love and sacrifices.
Too bad, im just too frustrated to think of that.
Anyways, my old folks came ta my crib last Sunday! I was damn happy to see them all well and walking about. Had lots of talking with them, especially my grandad, whom I much closer with, and to whom he can always relate to. For ur info, im the closest 'cucu' to my grandad, u c. So yupz, had a great time with them.
Monday was a total waste, i didnt had much things to mug, cuz whenever immat home, there's always the distraction. Even so, i had this great pain in the head, and i woke up feeling lyk shit, as though i had a hangover. It was a total suck time.
Im blogging in this computer room at sch. Gotta GP mock exam, and actually, we are supposed to come for the Principal's Farewell Assembly, but ader tiga budak melayu nie tk pegi langsung. Buat bodoh sua. Haha.
Oh, this guy by the name of WILLIAM from FRIENDSTER, who msged my fren who has dreams to be a RSAF pilot. Gear up Muslim frens, cuz here is an another bugger who shoots not just racial remarks, but religious one as well.
He said something bout....MUSLIM TERRORIST.. and .....FUCK OFF... and...BOMB...
Well, as a muslim to an INFIDEL like you, tell you wad, you are an RSAF OFFICER, and YOU are NOT a role model towards the rest of the crew.
People like you should be in the hijacked plane or the twin towers and died, bcuz you know why?
Cuz people like you are the CAUSE of unneccassary scrutiny, and the conflicts around the globe, let it be the USA against the Muslims (which is evidently true, as seen from their stand against Muslim terrorist, see the word "MUSLIM")
And perhaps you need to see the reason why people like you shud go to hellm with the rest of the people who discriminates other people.
Sori dude, im not a racist, but a peace lover, and arrogant lil assholes like you threaten the sovereignity of the world.
Fat hope buggers, and to the rest of USA BUSH Administration.
And for ur info, it is the West that labelled these terrorist MUSLIMS, and the Palestinian people MwILITANTS.., where tamil tigers are called FIGHTERS, and Abu sayyaf REBELS, and Palestinians MILITANTS.. WAD THE FUCK??? (forgive me God, i am sinned)
Wanna add another phrase..
ATHEIST NON-BELIEVING ZIONIST PIGS..
Hasta pronto.
Too bad, im just too frustrated to think of that.
Anyways, my old folks came ta my crib last Sunday! I was damn happy to see them all well and walking about. Had lots of talking with them, especially my grandad, whom I much closer with, and to whom he can always relate to. For ur info, im the closest 'cucu' to my grandad, u c. So yupz, had a great time with them.
Monday was a total waste, i didnt had much things to mug, cuz whenever immat home, there's always the distraction. Even so, i had this great pain in the head, and i woke up feeling lyk shit, as though i had a hangover. It was a total suck time.
Im blogging in this computer room at sch. Gotta GP mock exam, and actually, we are supposed to come for the Principal's Farewell Assembly, but ader tiga budak melayu nie tk pegi langsung. Buat bodoh sua. Haha.
Oh, this guy by the name of WILLIAM from FRIENDSTER, who msged my fren who has dreams to be a RSAF pilot. Gear up Muslim frens, cuz here is an another bugger who shoots not just racial remarks, but religious one as well.
He said something bout....MUSLIM TERRORIST.. and .....FUCK OFF... and...BOMB...
Well, as a muslim to an INFIDEL like you, tell you wad, you are an RSAF OFFICER, and YOU are NOT a role model towards the rest of the crew.
People like you should be in the hijacked plane or the twin towers and died, bcuz you know why?
Cuz people like you are the CAUSE of unneccassary scrutiny, and the conflicts around the globe, let it be the USA against the Muslims (which is evidently true, as seen from their stand against Muslim terrorist, see the word "MUSLIM")
And perhaps you need to see the reason why people like you shud go to hellm with the rest of the people who discriminates other people.
Sori dude, im not a racist, but a peace lover, and arrogant lil assholes like you threaten the sovereignity of the world.
Fat hope buggers, and to the rest of USA BUSH Administration.
And for ur info, it is the West that labelled these terrorist MUSLIMS, and the Palestinian people MwILITANTS.., where tamil tigers are called FIGHTERS, and Abu sayyaf REBELS, and Palestinians MILITANTS.. WAD THE FUCK??? (forgive me God, i am sinned)
Wanna add another phrase..
ATHEIST NON-BELIEVING ZIONIST PIGS..
Hasta pronto.
Saturday, October 15, 2005
Tunjukkanlah aku satu bintang..
Lagu nie best sae.. Dari Sheila On 7, salah satu lagu feveret gue..
Aku nk jgk suroh aku nyer band main lagu nie, sedap siot..
Anyways, aku berada di dlm Woodland Library, pakai com dorang, entah camaner aku leh ingat balek password aku yg dah lamer aku luper. Haha.
Tadi kanchong cam nak mati, sampai dlm kul 9.30am, itupon ader org lebih kanchong darik aku, naseb baek aku dpt cop satu tempat. Byk org yg aku nmpk dulu. Haha. Yg dahulu aku kemudiankan jelah.
Jap agi aku kene jumpe abg aku. Dier kater nk blanja aku. Baguslah kalo begitu.
I got a few more topics to touch before i end my revision, then off to practise papers.
TYS dah cam bible aku.
Last Friday was a very nostalgic moment in my life. Its always the end of time when ppl start appreaciating others, when ppl start asking for forgiveness or etc. I was in near tears when Ms Sabariah cried in front of the class. But luckily, i cud control the storm in me. All the memories i spent in Anderson JC for the past 2 years came rushing like a pack of hungry dogs. We took pictures, and i eventually hadta be among the camwhores. My fans took their last pics of me, and off i went to Al Khair Mosque. Instead of taking a bus home, i walked. I nt sure why i did dat, but this song dat u guys are hearing was on my mp3 back then, and i suddenly did wad i did.
Coba kau tunjuk satu bintang..
Sbagai pedoman langkah kita..
Akanku ukir, satu kisah cinta kita
Dimana baik dan buruk, terangkum oleh indah
Akanku cerna semua karya cinta kita
dimana hitam dan putih terbalut hangat nya cinta..
Wish that it wud be as before. Where i wud write "karya's" of poems to you, and it really felt great, cuz i got to express my feelings. Now? All i got was a few poems of the world, about life ard me. Does that make me a changed person?
But yes, i shall cerna and ukir all the little things we had together, and perhaps, i shall make a poem of us. About how it all happen. A story begins, a story ends, like a chapter of a book. But i shall not end that poem, but, shall left it hanging, and perhaps, let time tell and people know hoe much i miss you and love you..
Always,
Hazlami.
Aku nk jgk suroh aku nyer band main lagu nie, sedap siot..
Anyways, aku berada di dlm Woodland Library, pakai com dorang, entah camaner aku leh ingat balek password aku yg dah lamer aku luper. Haha.
Tadi kanchong cam nak mati, sampai dlm kul 9.30am, itupon ader org lebih kanchong darik aku, naseb baek aku dpt cop satu tempat. Byk org yg aku nmpk dulu. Haha. Yg dahulu aku kemudiankan jelah.
Jap agi aku kene jumpe abg aku. Dier kater nk blanja aku. Baguslah kalo begitu.
I got a few more topics to touch before i end my revision, then off to practise papers.
TYS dah cam bible aku.
Last Friday was a very nostalgic moment in my life. Its always the end of time when ppl start appreaciating others, when ppl start asking for forgiveness or etc. I was in near tears when Ms Sabariah cried in front of the class. But luckily, i cud control the storm in me. All the memories i spent in Anderson JC for the past 2 years came rushing like a pack of hungry dogs. We took pictures, and i eventually hadta be among the camwhores. My fans took their last pics of me, and off i went to Al Khair Mosque. Instead of taking a bus home, i walked. I nt sure why i did dat, but this song dat u guys are hearing was on my mp3 back then, and i suddenly did wad i did.
Coba kau tunjuk satu bintang..
Sbagai pedoman langkah kita..
Akanku ukir, satu kisah cinta kita
Dimana baik dan buruk, terangkum oleh indah
Akanku cerna semua karya cinta kita
dimana hitam dan putih terbalut hangat nya cinta..
Wish that it wud be as before. Where i wud write "karya's" of poems to you, and it really felt great, cuz i got to express my feelings. Now? All i got was a few poems of the world, about life ard me. Does that make me a changed person?
But yes, i shall cerna and ukir all the little things we had together, and perhaps, i shall make a poem of us. About how it all happen. A story begins, a story ends, like a chapter of a book. But i shall not end that poem, but, shall left it hanging, and perhaps, let time tell and people know hoe much i miss you and love you..
Always,
Hazlami.
Thursday, October 13, 2005
3 more weeks to A'levels..
Tmr our graduation assembly..
Today gotto sing a bdae song to this unknown fan of mine in sch..
More hrs of studying to go..
My patient running thin..
My head spinning slim..
My thoughts amoking like mobbers back in late 60s..
My eyes weary from such long nights and days spent on reading and writing..
My eyes teary from daily prayers and tarawehs dat kept me 'alive' and closer to God..
My hands tired and my back hurts like a pile of cow droppings on my lean shoulder..
My ears tired of hearing mp3 songs bout dirty songs, gurls that are too beautiful to be kept alive and shit..
blargh!
Tmr our graduation assembly..
Today gotto sing a bdae song to this unknown fan of mine in sch..
More hrs of studying to go..
My patient running thin..
My head spinning slim..
My thoughts amoking like mobbers back in late 60s..
My eyes weary from such long nights and days spent on reading and writing..
My eyes teary from daily prayers and tarawehs dat kept me 'alive' and closer to God..
My hands tired and my back hurts like a pile of cow droppings on my lean shoulder..
My ears tired of hearing mp3 songs bout dirty songs, gurls that are too beautiful to be kept alive and shit..
blargh!
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
I feel horrible. Its always this stupid cycle of guilt and disgust. When can it ever end?
Im really sori that i cannot accept you. Im a bad person. I break people's hearts. And people break my heart. Makes me a heartless person. That's why im into sufism. A path of solitudeness, where i can find back my lost self.
Yes and no, i lost my confidence. Not that i lost confidence in you, but i lost faith in the type of commitment i give to people, and how my weakness which is the tendency to get distracted by other problems and insecure easily gets the better of me, making the situation a very ideal way of saying, GO TO HELL YOU EVIL BASTARD. (Astaghfirullah, i said a bad word)
Thats me. Yes, i can be myself, sometimes im not myself. But no one, i mean it, NO ONE would ever really understand the complex matter of me. Im too complex to even think.
Last but not least, you already know that my heart is with someone else, and i would do what it takes to reopen the wound and never let it heal. I hide my sorrow by smiling, and by praising God and the Prophet, by going to maulids and majlis zikirullah, by making friends and not just enjoying life, but understand life itself.
Try and understand my philosophy, my principles in life. I beg you.
Im too much for a person to bear. Im too much. You can say whatever it is that potrays the good side of me, but still, I am what you say i am, if i wasn't, than why would i say i am, in the news, the papers everyday i am.
I dunno, its just the way i am. Too bad, so sad. Life must go on.
And yes, you'll be among the 70 people i would save from hell fire, with my amalan versing surah Ikhlas everday(according to Kitab Riyadus Salikin). My parents, my loved one, my family, and my friends.
That is the only thing that is in my mind ryt now.
Rabbana Atina Fiddunia Hasanah, wafirg akhirati hasanah, wakina a'zabannar!
Oh Allah, give us safety here and hereafter, and save us from hellfire.
Amin.
Saving the people i love from hellfire is the main goal im after. We are all part of the same source. So, tell me, what is more important than this? Love? Love to God, dat is.
Wsslm.
Im really sori that i cannot accept you. Im a bad person. I break people's hearts. And people break my heart. Makes me a heartless person. That's why im into sufism. A path of solitudeness, where i can find back my lost self.
Yes and no, i lost my confidence. Not that i lost confidence in you, but i lost faith in the type of commitment i give to people, and how my weakness which is the tendency to get distracted by other problems and insecure easily gets the better of me, making the situation a very ideal way of saying, GO TO HELL YOU EVIL BASTARD. (Astaghfirullah, i said a bad word)
Thats me. Yes, i can be myself, sometimes im not myself. But no one, i mean it, NO ONE would ever really understand the complex matter of me. Im too complex to even think.
Last but not least, you already know that my heart is with someone else, and i would do what it takes to reopen the wound and never let it heal. I hide my sorrow by smiling, and by praising God and the Prophet, by going to maulids and majlis zikirullah, by making friends and not just enjoying life, but understand life itself.
Try and understand my philosophy, my principles in life. I beg you.
Im too much for a person to bear. Im too much. You can say whatever it is that potrays the good side of me, but still, I am what you say i am, if i wasn't, than why would i say i am, in the news, the papers everyday i am.
I dunno, its just the way i am. Too bad, so sad. Life must go on.
And yes, you'll be among the 70 people i would save from hell fire, with my amalan versing surah Ikhlas everday(according to Kitab Riyadus Salikin). My parents, my loved one, my family, and my friends.
That is the only thing that is in my mind ryt now.
Rabbana Atina Fiddunia Hasanah, wafirg akhirati hasanah, wakina a'zabannar!
Oh Allah, give us safety here and hereafter, and save us from hellfire.
Amin.
Saving the people i love from hellfire is the main goal im after. We are all part of the same source. So, tell me, what is more important than this? Love? Love to God, dat is.
Wsslm.
Friday, October 07, 2005
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Pengorbanan
Topic yg aku nk discuss pader hari nik ialah, PENGORBANAN.
Seperti kekata omputih, "How far would you go to reach what you want"
Selalunyer dorang reply, "As far as i can possibly reach."
Kekata hanya tinggal kekata. Hilang dlm ingatan, hilang dlm hembusan.
Kalo kornag tanyer aku, susah aku nk jawab. Dah byk aku korbankan. Tapi nmpk tk berhasil. Mungkin ini adalah sesuatu yg patut aku lihat. Aku berkorban kerana manusia, tk dgn tuhan. Mcm mana nk dpt keredhaan?
Dlm bulan ramadhan nie, aku terasa syahdu setiap masa aku dudok bersama keluarga nak buka puasa. Entak kenapa. Setiap hari aku zikir, Allah huma innaka affu'un tuhibbul afwa fafu'an na. Adakah Tuhan sudah mengampuni dosaku yg berhimpun cam gunung everest? Pikir balik boleh nangis. Tapi aku pegang pada kata Quran, Allah bersama mereka yg bersabar. Bersama. Itu perkataan yg membangkitkan rasa secure atau rasa selamat. Itulah yg dimaksudkan oleh ayat itu.
Tk pernah Allah meninngalkan kita begtu saja, lihat sajer makanan dan minuman kita ada. Tapi, kita yg sering lupa dan lalai. Tapi, Tuhan suka mereka yg mencuba. Yg berkorban. Bukan mcm meletopkan badan pat org sampai namer Islam tercemarlar, tapi berusaha menggubah, jihad melawan nafsu dlm diri sendiri. Aku dulu suka kutok org. Skrg, aku dah kurang lar. Smoga tak bangkit tabiat burok aku tu.
Pengorbanan. Sebenarnya byk aku nk ckp. Aku samapai dah tulis kitab mengenai Islam dlm sudut sufi. Aku harap buku tu dpt beri sedikit sebanyak pendalaman dlm pemikiran seorang sufi.
Kalo kornag nak tau, org sufi tk pikir pon bende2 alah mcm terrorisme nie semuer. APe yg ade dlm otak dorang dgn sentiasa ialah, kalimah ALLAH, dan perkataan HU, yakni Dia.
InsyaAllah, aku akan share sikitlah isi buku tu. Aku nk tukar blog skin aku, jadi yg mcm tempat org tuntut ilmu, cam intstitute Hazlami gitulah.
Fasal, blog nie bukan saja digunakan utk kongsi kehidupan dan emosi, tapi PENGALAMAN. Aku nk kongsi pengalaman dan perspektif aku tentang issu yg tk byk org pikir kan.
Issue kehidupan. Life. Hakikat hidup. Makrifah. Ilmu. Sifat. Nur. Semua faktor2 ini akan membawa kita pada jalan yg satu.
Ikhdinassira talmustaqqin. Jalan yg benar. Jalan pada yg Satu.
ALLAHUTA'LLA.
Seperti kekata omputih, "How far would you go to reach what you want"
Selalunyer dorang reply, "As far as i can possibly reach."
Kekata hanya tinggal kekata. Hilang dlm ingatan, hilang dlm hembusan.
Kalo kornag tanyer aku, susah aku nk jawab. Dah byk aku korbankan. Tapi nmpk tk berhasil. Mungkin ini adalah sesuatu yg patut aku lihat. Aku berkorban kerana manusia, tk dgn tuhan. Mcm mana nk dpt keredhaan?
Dlm bulan ramadhan nie, aku terasa syahdu setiap masa aku dudok bersama keluarga nak buka puasa. Entak kenapa. Setiap hari aku zikir, Allah huma innaka affu'un tuhibbul afwa fafu'an na. Adakah Tuhan sudah mengampuni dosaku yg berhimpun cam gunung everest? Pikir balik boleh nangis. Tapi aku pegang pada kata Quran, Allah bersama mereka yg bersabar. Bersama. Itu perkataan yg membangkitkan rasa secure atau rasa selamat. Itulah yg dimaksudkan oleh ayat itu.
Tk pernah Allah meninngalkan kita begtu saja, lihat sajer makanan dan minuman kita ada. Tapi, kita yg sering lupa dan lalai. Tapi, Tuhan suka mereka yg mencuba. Yg berkorban. Bukan mcm meletopkan badan pat org sampai namer Islam tercemarlar, tapi berusaha menggubah, jihad melawan nafsu dlm diri sendiri. Aku dulu suka kutok org. Skrg, aku dah kurang lar. Smoga tak bangkit tabiat burok aku tu.
Pengorbanan. Sebenarnya byk aku nk ckp. Aku samapai dah tulis kitab mengenai Islam dlm sudut sufi. Aku harap buku tu dpt beri sedikit sebanyak pendalaman dlm pemikiran seorang sufi.
Kalo kornag nak tau, org sufi tk pikir pon bende2 alah mcm terrorisme nie semuer. APe yg ade dlm otak dorang dgn sentiasa ialah, kalimah ALLAH, dan perkataan HU, yakni Dia.
InsyaAllah, aku akan share sikitlah isi buku tu. Aku nk tukar blog skin aku, jadi yg mcm tempat org tuntut ilmu, cam intstitute Hazlami gitulah.
Fasal, blog nie bukan saja digunakan utk kongsi kehidupan dan emosi, tapi PENGALAMAN. Aku nk kongsi pengalaman dan perspektif aku tentang issu yg tk byk org pikir kan.
Issue kehidupan. Life. Hakikat hidup. Makrifah. Ilmu. Sifat. Nur. Semua faktor2 ini akan membawa kita pada jalan yg satu.
Ikhdinassira talmustaqqin. Jalan yg benar. Jalan pada yg Satu.
ALLAHUTA'LLA.
Monday, September 26, 2005
Cekalkan hati menempuh ranjau..
Isk, dah lamer aku tk berblog2 nie, ader cam masalah nk masok blog aku nie. Takpe, aku pon nk tukar blogskin kasik lagi simple untuk mereka nk masok.
Im joining up with bren to make a blog solely for knowledge and info disemination. Im writing a sufism-based articles whereas bren will be writing stuffs bout the world, how touchy.
Anyways, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
Dah 18 tahun beb, mesti kene ade amanah dan tanggungjawab jager mak bapak, yelah, mak bapak aku dah tua, tk lamer lagi bapak aku pencen, mestilah aku carik alternatif nak membiayai hidop aku.
Birthday aku aku celebrate ngan family aku ngan salah seorang kawan aku yg bernamer Jenny. Buat julong2 kalinyer aku celbrate ngan family sebelah mak aku, ngan aku seperti biasa sponsor cakenyer. Haish, asek aku jer kene beli cake sendiri. Kekadang pikir balek, aku memang tk suke hari jadi aku. Cam siak. Abeh tu, betambah plak memori2 silam yg pahit cam karepap.
Lepas tu, hari Ahadnyer, aku pegi ngok wayang ngan makan ngan jenny. Naseb baik dier pandai amek hati aku, walaupon byk bebudak ciner telah gagal mencuba, namun aku raser org spt jenny nie tk gif up. Tapi dier muda sgt lah. Aku muda sgt. AKu maseh tk dpt bukak hati aku pat org lain.
Anyways, it was nice, jenny, really. And i mean excluding the fact that you poured drops of chocolate milk on my NICE and BRAND NEW shirt!
ahaha
anyways, abg aku kasik aku bag nie, touching giler, aku harap aku dpt blaja sunggoh2 dptkan result yg baik untok Alevel.
Ader jugaklah mereka2 yg beri aku prezent. Tima kaceh aku kepada semua, terutama, mak ngan bapak, adek dan abg, kaum keluarga seblah mak aku, Ain yg berikan sumbangan besar (sgt creative, aku *ahem* suka dan *coughs* touched, haha), Brennan yg akan ku temuinya esok di raffles place kerna telefon call yg menunjukkan ko maseh bestfriend aku hidop mati (touching giler, dier call aku mlm2 untuk wish aku happy burfdae, smagat, abeh tu maseh kasi aku smagat, bez), bebudak tuision aku yg panggil aku gay, bebudak yg beri aku chocolate pat depan pintu aku, org yg kasik aku wallet cantek melalui post (aku kategorikan mereka nie dlm fan account gua haha), dan mereka2 yg telah memberikan senyuman mesra padaku. Tima kaceh byk2, dan tk luper, Jenny yg ku kaseh, kerna lunch and movie yg begitu *ahem* kelakar dan menghiborkan.
Tk luper jugak, aku nak mintak maaf atas segala dosa kau pat kengkorang, nk dekat ramadhan, mesti jage 'hablum minallah, wa hablumminannas', harap pinta ku diterima, amin.
Sempena hari jadi aku, aku nak minta 3 doa. Satu, aku dan keluarga ku sehat. 2, Alevel aku ok. 3, dia yg maseh aku tk dapat lupakan semoga apa jua beliau akan berjaya dan hidup bahgia.
Kalau kornag maseh nk tahu, ya, sejak kebelakangan nie, aku byk fikir pasal dier. Saya harap kamu tahu apa yg saya maksudkan. Aku nak confess pasal dah tk bleh tahan.
Dlm hidop aku, benar kater Diana, aku hidop dlm kehidupan org lain, dan aku nie hidop dlm self-denial atau keadaan yg tidak dpt ku terima hakikat.
Hakikatnyer, ialah, aku maseh fikirkan dier, walaupon dia yg bernama ego itu cuba nak tutup aib, tapi dia yg bernama hati cuba membukanya. Dan sejak kebelakangan ini, hazlami yg dulu dah kembali bermukim di hati. Kelembutan yg ada dlm diriku mula berputik. Dan juga cintaku padanya.
Hakikatnyer, aku maseh tk dpt lupakan dier, aku tk tau kenaper. Penah aku tanyer abg aku, aku tanyer dier. Dier jawab dgn mudah, "Ko nyer cerita ader sikit je cam aku ngan nazirah. Cume ko kompleks sikit, psl kehadiran makhluk bernama ego. AKu tau ko maseh cinta dier. Ape lagi, bilanglah dier. Ape susah sgt"
Ckp bukan main senang. Mulut laser. Manerlah aku ader keberanian untuk berhadapan dgn sesuatu yg tk mungkin aku dpt kecapi??
Cuma hanya sesuatu hakikat yg aku dpt terima. Sekarang. Dan esok.
AKu masih cintakan dia.
Hasta Pronto
Aku sbenarnya nak
Im joining up with bren to make a blog solely for knowledge and info disemination. Im writing a sufism-based articles whereas bren will be writing stuffs bout the world, how touchy.
Anyways, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
Dah 18 tahun beb, mesti kene ade amanah dan tanggungjawab jager mak bapak, yelah, mak bapak aku dah tua, tk lamer lagi bapak aku pencen, mestilah aku carik alternatif nak membiayai hidop aku.
Birthday aku aku celebrate ngan family aku ngan salah seorang kawan aku yg bernamer Jenny. Buat julong2 kalinyer aku celbrate ngan family sebelah mak aku, ngan aku seperti biasa sponsor cakenyer. Haish, asek aku jer kene beli cake sendiri. Kekadang pikir balek, aku memang tk suke hari jadi aku. Cam siak. Abeh tu, betambah plak memori2 silam yg pahit cam karepap.
Lepas tu, hari Ahadnyer, aku pegi ngok wayang ngan makan ngan jenny. Naseb baik dier pandai amek hati aku, walaupon byk bebudak ciner telah gagal mencuba, namun aku raser org spt jenny nie tk gif up. Tapi dier muda sgt lah. Aku muda sgt. AKu maseh tk dpt bukak hati aku pat org lain.
Anyways, it was nice, jenny, really. And i mean excluding the fact that you poured drops of chocolate milk on my NICE and BRAND NEW shirt!
ahaha
anyways, abg aku kasik aku bag nie, touching giler, aku harap aku dpt blaja sunggoh2 dptkan result yg baik untok Alevel.
Ader jugaklah mereka2 yg beri aku prezent. Tima kaceh aku kepada semua, terutama, mak ngan bapak, adek dan abg, kaum keluarga seblah mak aku, Ain yg berikan sumbangan besar (sgt creative, aku *ahem* suka dan *coughs* touched, haha), Brennan yg akan ku temuinya esok di raffles place kerna telefon call yg menunjukkan ko maseh bestfriend aku hidop mati (touching giler, dier call aku mlm2 untuk wish aku happy burfdae, smagat, abeh tu maseh kasi aku smagat, bez), bebudak tuision aku yg panggil aku gay, bebudak yg beri aku chocolate pat depan pintu aku, org yg kasik aku wallet cantek melalui post (aku kategorikan mereka nie dlm fan account gua haha), dan mereka2 yg telah memberikan senyuman mesra padaku. Tima kaceh byk2, dan tk luper, Jenny yg ku kaseh, kerna lunch and movie yg begitu *ahem* kelakar dan menghiborkan.
Tk luper jugak, aku nak mintak maaf atas segala dosa kau pat kengkorang, nk dekat ramadhan, mesti jage 'hablum minallah, wa hablumminannas', harap pinta ku diterima, amin.
Sempena hari jadi aku, aku nak minta 3 doa. Satu, aku dan keluarga ku sehat. 2, Alevel aku ok. 3, dia yg maseh aku tk dapat lupakan semoga apa jua beliau akan berjaya dan hidup bahgia.
Kalau kornag maseh nk tahu, ya, sejak kebelakangan nie, aku byk fikir pasal dier. Saya harap kamu tahu apa yg saya maksudkan. Aku nak confess pasal dah tk bleh tahan.
Dlm hidop aku, benar kater Diana, aku hidop dlm kehidupan org lain, dan aku nie hidop dlm self-denial atau keadaan yg tidak dpt ku terima hakikat.
Hakikatnyer, ialah, aku maseh fikirkan dier, walaupon dia yg bernama ego itu cuba nak tutup aib, tapi dia yg bernama hati cuba membukanya. Dan sejak kebelakangan ini, hazlami yg dulu dah kembali bermukim di hati. Kelembutan yg ada dlm diriku mula berputik. Dan juga cintaku padanya.
Hakikatnyer, aku maseh tk dpt lupakan dier, aku tk tau kenaper. Penah aku tanyer abg aku, aku tanyer dier. Dier jawab dgn mudah, "Ko nyer cerita ader sikit je cam aku ngan nazirah. Cume ko kompleks sikit, psl kehadiran makhluk bernama ego. AKu tau ko maseh cinta dier. Ape lagi, bilanglah dier. Ape susah sgt"
Ckp bukan main senang. Mulut laser. Manerlah aku ader keberanian untuk berhadapan dgn sesuatu yg tk mungkin aku dpt kecapi??
Cuma hanya sesuatu hakikat yg aku dpt terima. Sekarang. Dan esok.
AKu masih cintakan dia.
Hasta Pronto
Aku sbenarnya nak
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Fish with the PE dept!
Argh, fish man. Damn fisherman. All i did was to forgot to bring my PE shirt. At least i DID wear a house shirt. Still that damn fisherman not only scold me, he put me on make up! Now i got like, wad, 4 makeups to do???
Chicken. Raser cm sipot. Kalo dipikirkan, aku tk bersalah sipot. Abeh si lahabao tu tk caya.
"Oh, my problem ar?"
Fish you lar. As a wud be pilot, i dun deserve dat comment.
I'll make sure im in the pilot wings, get a god damned F-15, fly right above the track and whamp!! hit him right in that blessed messenger's holy ass *cannot find a word to replace that word, heck lar*
Dah langgar dier pastu bukak afterburners buat daging babi out of him.
Sipot nyer cikgu. Haish.
Anyways, I was nearly late just now. Ran at top speed, i suppose it was near mark 2! Shit! I got into the gate, and just let the malay guard left his hands there in air which was supposedly a well shaking of hands. And speed in, and i nearly fall on my head cuz i suddenly felt damn dizzy. Fish!
Nasib baik gua sampai dlm masa yg teramat crucial tu. I hate today.
I need coffee. 12 cans??
Chicken. Raser cm sipot. Kalo dipikirkan, aku tk bersalah sipot. Abeh si lahabao tu tk caya.
"Oh, my problem ar?"
Fish you lar. As a wud be pilot, i dun deserve dat comment.
I'll make sure im in the pilot wings, get a god damned F-15, fly right above the track and whamp!! hit him right in that blessed messenger's holy ass *cannot find a word to replace that word, heck lar*
Dah langgar dier pastu bukak afterburners buat daging babi out of him.
Sipot nyer cikgu. Haish.
Anyways, I was nearly late just now. Ran at top speed, i suppose it was near mark 2! Shit! I got into the gate, and just let the malay guard left his hands there in air which was supposedly a well shaking of hands. And speed in, and i nearly fall on my head cuz i suddenly felt damn dizzy. Fish!
Nasib baik gua sampai dlm masa yg teramat crucial tu. I hate today.
I need coffee. 12 cans??
Monday, August 29, 2005
Planes, dropping from the sky...
I've got good news.
I passed my CPTS test, the pilot test lah. Chey, never had the right order of mind to see myself as a potential pilot.
Anyways, more good news.
I received a call from the CMPB SAF career centre regarding this thing. I was put under a special programme under the RSAF, for the near-perfect scores in the test. They say, they'll give me more details later on, but first i must clear my interview.
HOW GREAT IS THAT!!!!???!!!
Talk about planes dropping from the sky...
Anyways, even if i got in, i wun put in much hope inta it cuz i learnt (and also wad my mum is always in constant bickering about) that u musnt put too much hope on something, nanti kater org 'hampeh' kan tk begitu?
Takpleah, tapi the thought of this..
"Eh, how are you brother? Long time no see, where are you now are? Teacher? Economist?"
"No lah, i fly."
Hahaha, nice reply man. Abg aku doctor, aku pilot, tk gerek ke gitu?? Best sae kalo cenggini.
And i realli like flying. In fact, once they announce my interview, i'll do alot of research on RSAF and stuff liddat. Razor's helping me. Read the book he showed to me bout the RSAF in 35 years. Goodness me. Those apaches realli look cute (Wad do you call me now? Not gay, no no.. hmm..)
Btw, most of my fam members are not doing well now, some sicklar, apelah. I hope they are ok..
I hate this blogger thing. I DID updated my last entry, it was like a 45 inches of parchment lar! Waste time sia, pastu tkbleh post, den lost all the shit. Grr..!
Im putting up the old song Evergreen back on the blog. Somehow i've been getting weird dreams of you. Makes me realli missing you.
I forgot to mention, didja read up on the current news of Africa? God, now the media's cracking up reports bout them, i have the feeling that i may be using those as facts for my GP prelims.
40 more days to Alevel.. muahahahaha..
Dad's gonna kill me for this. I must make sure i study harder, for the glory, the love and pride.
Hazlami never loses his pride. Period. *evil grin*
I passed my CPTS test, the pilot test lah. Chey, never had the right order of mind to see myself as a potential pilot.
Anyways, more good news.
I received a call from the CMPB SAF career centre regarding this thing. I was put under a special programme under the RSAF, for the near-perfect scores in the test. They say, they'll give me more details later on, but first i must clear my interview.
HOW GREAT IS THAT!!!!???!!!
Talk about planes dropping from the sky...
Anyways, even if i got in, i wun put in much hope inta it cuz i learnt (and also wad my mum is always in constant bickering about) that u musnt put too much hope on something, nanti kater org 'hampeh' kan tk begitu?
Takpleah, tapi the thought of this..
"Eh, how are you brother? Long time no see, where are you now are? Teacher? Economist?"
"No lah, i fly."
Hahaha, nice reply man. Abg aku doctor, aku pilot, tk gerek ke gitu?? Best sae kalo cenggini.
And i realli like flying. In fact, once they announce my interview, i'll do alot of research on RSAF and stuff liddat. Razor's helping me. Read the book he showed to me bout the RSAF in 35 years. Goodness me. Those apaches realli look cute (Wad do you call me now? Not gay, no no.. hmm..)
Btw, most of my fam members are not doing well now, some sicklar, apelah. I hope they are ok..
I hate this blogger thing. I DID updated my last entry, it was like a 45 inches of parchment lar! Waste time sia, pastu tkbleh post, den lost all the shit. Grr..!
Im putting up the old song Evergreen back on the blog. Somehow i've been getting weird dreams of you. Makes me realli missing you.
I forgot to mention, didja read up on the current news of Africa? God, now the media's cracking up reports bout them, i have the feeling that i may be using those as facts for my GP prelims.
40 more days to Alevel.. muahahahaha..
Dad's gonna kill me for this. I must make sure i study harder, for the glory, the love and pride.
Hazlami never loses his pride. Period. *evil grin*
Planes, dropping from the sky...
I've got good news.
I passed my CPTS test, the pilot test lah. Chey, never had the right order of mind to see myself as a potential pilot.
Anyways, more good news.
I received a call from the CMPB SAF career centre regarding this thing. I was put under a special programme under the RSAF, for the near-perfect scores in the test. They say, they'll give me more details later on, but first i must clear my interview.
HOW GREAT IS THAT!!!!???!!!
Talk about planes dropping from the sky...
Anyways, even if i got in, i wun put in much hope inta it cuz i learnt (and also wad my mum is always in constant bickering about) that u musnt put too much hope on something, nanti kater org 'hampeh' kan tk begitu?
Takpleah, tapi the thought of this..
"Eh, how are you brother? Long time no see, where are you now are? Teacher? Economist?"
"No lah, i fly."
Hahaha, nice reply man. Abg aku doctor, aku pilot, tk gerek ke gitu?? Best sae kalo cenggini.
And i realli like flying. In fact, once they announce my interview, i'll do alot of research on RSAF and stuff liddat. Razor's helping me. Read the book he showed to me bout the RSAF in 35 years. Goodness me. Those apaches realli look cute (Wad do you call me now? Not gay, no no.. hmm..)
Btw, most of my fam members are not doing well now, some sicklar, apelah. I hope they are ok..
I hate this blogger thing. I DID updated my last entry, it was like a 45 inches of parchment lar! Waste time sia, pastu tkbleh post, den lost all the shit. Grr..!
Im putting up the old song Evergreen back on the blog. Somehow i've been getting weird dreams of you. Makes me realli missing you.
I forgot to mention, didja read up on the current news of Africa? God, now the media's cracking up reports bout them, i have the feeling that i may be using those as facts for my GP prelims.
40 more days to Alevel.. muahahahaha..
Dad's gonna kill me for this. I must make sure i study harder, for the glory, the love and pride.
Hazlami never loses his pride. Period. *evil grin*
I passed my CPTS test, the pilot test lah. Chey, never had the right order of mind to see myself as a potential pilot.
Anyways, more good news.
I received a call from the CMPB SAF career centre regarding this thing. I was put under a special programme under the RSAF, for the near-perfect scores in the test. They say, they'll give me more details later on, but first i must clear my interview.
HOW GREAT IS THAT!!!!???!!!
Talk about planes dropping from the sky...
Anyways, even if i got in, i wun put in much hope inta it cuz i learnt (and also wad my mum is always in constant bickering about) that u musnt put too much hope on something, nanti kater org 'hampeh' kan tk begitu?
Takpleah, tapi the thought of this..
"Eh, how are you brother? Long time no see, where are you now are? Teacher? Economist?"
"No lah, i fly."
Hahaha, nice reply man. Abg aku doctor, aku pilot, tk gerek ke gitu?? Best sae kalo cenggini.
And i realli like flying. In fact, once they announce my interview, i'll do alot of research on RSAF and stuff liddat. Razor's helping me. Read the book he showed to me bout the RSAF in 35 years. Goodness me. Those apaches realli look cute (Wad do you call me now? Not gay, no no.. hmm..)
Btw, most of my fam members are not doing well now, some sicklar, apelah. I hope they are ok..
I hate this blogger thing. I DID updated my last entry, it was like a 45 inches of parchment lar! Waste time sia, pastu tkbleh post, den lost all the shit. Grr..!
Im putting up the old song Evergreen back on the blog. Somehow i've been getting weird dreams of you. Makes me realli missing you.
I forgot to mention, didja read up on the current news of Africa? God, now the media's cracking up reports bout them, i have the feeling that i may be using those as facts for my GP prelims.
40 more days to Alevel.. muahahahaha..
Dad's gonna kill me for this. I must make sure i study harder, for the glory, the love and pride.
Hazlami never loses his pride. Period. *evil grin*
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
