Whatever

Sometimes i wonder, whether dreams, goals, visions, are something for us.

Sometimes i wonder, whether dreams do come true, and most people might say, that if you wanna achieve your dreams, you have to work hard to get it.

Did I work hard? You betcha.

After all the long hours they finally put me out of the drama.

Nevermind. If it's because of MY condition, then i shud say, well, my passion for theatre still burns.

I'll prove to all the buggers that despite of MY condition, aku tetap mampu berlakon.

Not in matinee dramas, but big BANGSAWAN and DRAMA PURBA plays. Perhaps even with IKAMATRA, or even with the big boys or my uncle, who apparently is one of the bangsawans in Singapore.

Its alright, im ok, i think GOD can explain..

Well, so i've heard loads of rumours bout me in school after my long absentism.
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Oh well, lets just say its a NICE comment. Not to mention the kind of 'weak' attempts they make to make me confess how 'hard' its like to have this 'weak heart'.

Ok, i tell.

SO WHAT if i have a sick heart.
SO WHAT if im sick.

SO WHAT?

What? Why must i go thru dis shit again? Arent they convinced that im still capable enuf to run 2.4km? That i passed my NAPFA test, and yet, i do not need to go for an extra month at BMT?
That im capable enuf to stand on my on two FREAKIN feet, work to support myself and my family, yet still study in school?

Have i not mention that im sick? Yes, i just did that.

So WHAT?

This is ridiculous. So now you're telling me, that dreams cannot come true if a person isnt CAPABLE enuf?

Now im realli sad. Definitely. Not just disappointed, but heartbroken as well.

I made a wrong decision in life. Remember dis now.

Never expect people to accept you for WHO you are. They'll eventually chuck you out of their lives.

Oh forget it. Ya Tuhan.

Oh, i just talk to ANOTHER person. She apparently mentioned that aku fall sick in every major event. Haha.

In spite of recent events, I wun be myself anymore. No more smiling. No more laughing. Just crude lil sad missipo me.

PS: I hope u're alright sofia. Somehow, i feel i share the same kind of treatment with you. No more panadols for you ya. (for ur info, sofia is a fren i met in the HOSPITAL, she ate 8 panadols str8)

And thx, nad and gang, mum and dad, and most big hug to ABANG and LIL BROTHERS for making me happy thruout all my 17 years in this cruel world.

Do i sound pathetic? i think so. But i DON'T NEED your SYMPATHY.

Blargh.. =(

Sometimes, you can't make it, on your own.. (U2) oh, i need a hug.