An Individual for the society

I cannot sleep. I am still thinking about the many questions in my brain.

How can I be possible to help others when I alone am not good enough for it?

Many would say that it is my selfish attempt, perhaps an excuse, to explain my lack of societal responsibilities.

Actually, I dun care what people would say.

Somebody wise told me, you would be judge by God as an individual and not as a collective group of individuals. Needless to say, it is my own actions, my actions alone, that will determine the outcome of my ambiguous life.

So im now asking myself again. What is my purpose in this life?

And I need to stick to it. No point influencing others, sharing them what are my thoughts, when they themselves do not understand. No point blabbering about socio politics and islamic perspectives in a society when I myself am wronged and imperfect. No point trying to convince others to see the dual-partner of an angle in order to achieve some sort of understanding. No point.

Simply because, Im not good enough. And I am deviating, and keep deviating, from my purpose in this world.

I am but a small dirt in the eyes of God. :(


Hati hiba mengenangkan dosa2 yg ku lakukan,
Oh Tuhan Maha Kuasa,
Terima taubat hamba berdosa...

Ku akui kelemahan diri,
Ku insafi kekurangan ini,
Ku kesali kejahilan ini,
Terimalah 3x.....
Taubatku ini.....

Telah aku merasakan derita jiwa dan perasaan,
Kerana hilang dari jalan menuju redhaMu ya Tuhan.

Ku akui kelemahan ini,
Ku insafi kekurangan ini,
Ku kesali kejahilan ini,
Terimalah 3x...
Taubatku ini...