Ramadhan, bulan yang suci

Ramadhan El-Mubarak my dear friends!

The month of forgiveness has arrived, full of blessing and rahmah. After having living in this world for 21 years, I have seen many who yet again fail to recognize the true essence of ramadhan, and of course, im in dismay of myself as well, for having picking up the notion of Ramadhan quite slow, that is to be totally honest, only began shortly after a scolding and a reminder by my beloved parents about the do's and don'ts of Ramadhan. And of course, hail and many salutations to those who feel the barakah of the month.

Priorities as such much change in accordance to my absolutely misleaded life.

As I sat reading the Quran in Al-Falah, awaiting patiently for the beautiful serenade of the azan, I pictured myself in the past, and a sudden rush of memories came flashing across my mind. Truly enough, I was misleaded, yet again. Army life snatched away my iman and islam, and much to my disappointment, the ikhsan that has been with me since my dad shared with me his view on the term, insan kamil, back when I was 16.

A difference between a muslim, and a mukmin, is 3 things. Islam, Iman, and ikhsan. And a mukmin is referred as insan kamil, a spirit that bears not single drop of tarnished sin, filled with light of Allah, and barakah of the Prophet SAW, and whatever he sees, feels, taste, touch, hear, are all Allah. In his everyday life, he thinks non but Allah, even the food that he eats, he sees Allah, he says.

I went weak all of a sudden. Allah has given me so much, yet I failed to see Him. I was blinded by dunia, the wealth of materials, company of friends, and comforts of life.

And as i watch my tears drop down, an African muallaf came up to me, and asked me nicely, why are you crying ya wallad.

I answered.

"My brother, I have strayed away from Allah. I do not deserve His forgiveness. I do not deserve a place in Paradise, nor did I want to be in Hellfire. I have done so many wrongdoings. I have commited so many acts of selfish ideas. I have not been praying constantly back then. I have been swayed by the pleasures of friends who too are blinded by dunia. I should have been a better person. I should have encouraged myself and my friends to do good."

He looked at me, his eyes covered with a thin layer of tears, and replied calmly.

"My friend, Allah is All Forgiving. And His Mercy overcomes His Wrath. He is always guiding you, as much as how he is guiding me. And only through the mistakes you make will you understanding the motive of Allah's actions against you. Its not the within, but within the within lies the truth. Don't be discourage. Keep istighfar. I assure you, the bad things that you have done, cannot match mine."

God has send me his words of wisdom through a stranger whom I knew little of his background. But nevertheless, I was enlightened.

Recent events took a toll on my Ramadhan. There has been spreaded misunderstandings between me and a few members. I apologise on my behalf, but surely I do have a reason in doing so.

I shall put it in a simplified way.

In order for one to be accepted in a certain structure, not just any structure, but a structure that bears connotations of purpose, the person must first be able to achieve the structure's purpose in a manner of individualism.

Meaning, if a person wants to join a Muslim organisation, he must instill in him the primary core values of a Muslim.

Same goes to the issue we are facing. I was wronged. But it is time that we all change for the better.

As I walked down that alley and saw the amount of Malay people not in the mosque but actually 'lepakking' and doing nothing but absolute rubbish, in Ramadhan, I noticed how it changed my perception on myself. I cannot deliver what you seek. For the priorities that you people hold differs with mine greatly.

On a lighter note, do bear in mind that it is not my wish to hurt anyone. But rest assured that I have never forgotten the sacrifices we went together as a team. It is time for as to take a paradigm shift.

Hijrah my friends. I am encouraging myself, and all of you, to move forward, and not just sit around doing nothing.

My notion of acting 'fruitfully' is- having achieved primary goals like bonding, and not to forget our religious obligations, for it is but mandatory for Muslims to prioritise his or her commitments wisely in Ramadan.

We must act now. Ramadhan comes once. Who knows I might not see the next one with you people. A friend once told me, that sometimes people are not ready to change, or accept a change.

Think of it, in this way.

You may not know when you are going to die. Rasulullah SAW once said, a wise man is a person who always think about death.

Blame it on secularism, for clouding our young minds with fear of death. In fact, a true muslim not like me, must embrace death, for only with death is the beginning of life. Eternal life that is.

So when you think of death, and you know there isn't any answer to exactly when are you going away, so will that push you to think that it is not but now to change?

Sudah menjadi lumrah kehidupan di dunia
Cabaran dan dugaan mendewasakan usia
Rintangan dilalui tambah pengalaman diri
Sudah sunnah ketetapan Ilahi

Deras arus dunia menghanyutkan yang terleka
Indah fatamorgana melalaikan menipu daya
Dikejar dicintai bak bayangan tak bertepi
Tiada sudahnya dunia yang dicari

Begitu indah dunia siapa pun kan tergoda
Harta, pangkat dan wanita melemahkan jiwa
Tanpa iman dalam hati kita kan dikuasai
Syaitan nafsu dalam diri musuh yang tersembunyi
Pulanglah kepada Tuhan cahaya kehidupan
Keimanan ketakwaan kepadanya senjata utama

So now I might be close in my search for my purpose in this life. Have you guys thought about yours? Or the purpose is but a mere insight of nothing but simplified laughter?

It is drastic. It is evil. But do evil for the greater good. Insya'allah, we will succeed.

Besides this, I have written on my scrap bk abt our Mua'lim, Muhammad SAW.

Its a short one, but I guess I have not been updating this blog. I will try to change the skin to a more, reader-friendly type, and few personal notations, but more of life and human behaviour, as per what I see.

"Ash hadu alla ila ha illah. Astaghfirullah. Nas alukal jannata wana'uzubika minannar."

"Allah huma innaka 'afurun tuhibbul afwa fa fu'an na."

Ya karim.