Anjakan Paradigma

I woke up in a sea of complicated headaches, a pool of berserk dreams of getting whacked by a crew of ninja turtles, ironman blasting the heads of small irritating rabbits, and of course, the usual one.

And I was greeted by the ringing of my hp alarm, indicating yet another day at work till 10pm.

Im beginning to not look forward to DFS. Its just that the politics there are horrible. So many hypocrites see, smile first, talk bad about you later. That's just awful. Really. And im like, the youngest there is, so its kinda hard to click.

I only look forward to my day offs, where I cud spent some quality time at home or with friends, or maybe perhaps doing community work too.

Sunday is supposedly the day where everyone slacks. How come I must go to work?

I think its time for me to get a new job. Something that doesn't bother my weekends, so that I can use those to do so many things. Blast. Now im looking for jobs that enables me to do community work yet get paid. Come on, volunteers are necessary, but I still have to feed my family right. Though I know its not paid well, but wth.


Recently, I had a deep discussion with Harold about how we guys tend to get desperate when we see people having a fun time with their lives and getting married and stuff. Honestly, I think it is selfish, but still, being a normal human being, I cannot help but wonder why am I still in this state and not making an 'anjakan paradigma'.

So I flipped the newest edition of men's health and presto, the answer was there.

Now according to scientific research, men takes a harder fall than women when they go through a rough patch. Why? Simply cuz of our ego. When we are high up, we tend to obscure our sights from the inevitable disaster that is approaching, shunting aside all the negative perceptions, thinking that WE are in control, and that just by ignoring it, it'll go away.

Wrong.

When it hit us hard, it becomes like the tsunami. And hell they'd be depressed. After that, they get desperate. After that.. You know what happens after that.. When you get desperate, you make decisions based on emotions, lack of maturity and thought, and in the end, it gets worst.

So I calmed myself down and told myself, let it go, and open your mind.

A distant friend of mine got married yesterday, so I dropped him a msg saying good luck and all. I kept thinking that, why is everyone getting married while im sitting here counting sheep?

Well, according to Harold, its better to count money now so that we can relax and chill in the future. Like buying dividends and stuff, so that you get paid by just shaking your leg. So I referred him to a book I once read about this malay guy who hit his million dollar mark at the age of 30. And he is not married, and he has no one but himself and his family.

Now how strong can this guy be. He can be so determined, going through so much, exploring the world of shares, brokers, property, banks, business, and he makes small businesses, and when he holds a prime place, he pays people to do his job, and hence, he becomes a CEO of his own company, and hence, all he does now is play golf with clients, go for umrah, spend time with his family, and travel here and there to expand his business.

I came across my brothers blog recently, and he posted his view of the good and the bad side of wealth, where few sufis are against the idea of richness while the others support the notion of being wealthy.

In my opinion, monetary wealth brings us to nowhere, except for the richness of the heart. And with wealth comes a purpose that we can either use it for the good of mankind, or be destroyed by self-attaching ourselves to dunia and its false wealth.

So ultimately, purpose is the yardstick or measure of one's ability to earn God's love.

By having a sense of purpose, I could actually set goals based on what I think im born to do, rather than personal glory.

And I definitely know what I'm born to do.

My purpose of living in this life of false hope.

The purpose that can overcome anything so long as I continue to believe.

So to speak, with knowing a purpose, you can overcome anything.

Like in DFS, I don't see any purpose of being there except for telling white lies of how I want to go and fill up my water bottle but actually Im praying.

So I can see that, without a purpose, the thing that im pursuing, will end shortly.


So in the midst of dreams of getting whacked by ninja turtles and helping ironman blast does irritating bunnies, I told myself.

I have moved on.

So I continued to listen to sunday morning call and dread of going to work.