I met Izhar the other day after work and we suddenly pored our heart-felt crap to each other and spend 3 hours talking about life.

It is a moment, for I have never seen Izhar like this before.

He too, just like me, wear masks to hide our pain, and just live our life laughing and have fun.

He asked me a qn, whether shud he tell that person whom is gonna be married soon, abt how he feels for her.

I told him, "don't be like me bro. I didn't have the chance to say what I feel to dian. Don't make the same mistakes as I do. In my life, I have never regretted what I've done. Usually, I'd shun it all away, cuz I believe I do things for a reason. But now im regretting for the first time in my life, not able to tell what I feel to that one person who made me believe that indeed love is friendship after all. And so, tell her dude."

Den what if she has a sudden change of heart for me?

"Its not up to you to decide jodoh but Allah. You have nothing to lose dude. Most probably she'd go on with her life, but at least you did tell her what you feel, so you can move on much faster."

Now im beginning to understand the terms of redha.

My mum use to advice dian on the phone when she was sick. She told her,"Cakap, Ya Allah, aku rasa sakit ya rabbi, tapi aku redha atas perbuatanMu."

So what does redha actually mean?

Full submission of will?

Emptying all possible reasons, and logics, and feelings, and submit it all to the Mighty Lord?

It is said in the Quran, Surah ALFatehah.

"Iyya kana' budu wa iyya kanas tai'n."

Which means, "To you I submit and pray, and only to You I seek mercy and help."

And so it continues to a doa, which says, "Show us to the guided way of siratul mustaqim. The way of the people whom You give ni'mah. Not the way of those whom You despise. And not the way of those whom are lost."

So what is this siratul mustaqim?

The way of those whom Allah SWT give ni'mah?

And to whom does ALLAH give ni'mah? And what kind of ni'mah?



Certainly im not among those people. For I feel pain, and this is not ni'mah.

I am lost, and so guide me like a shepherd guiding his lamb oh Mighty Lord.

This is dian's poem written for me.

From: Farzanna Zainal (cerca_trova_farz@hotmail.com)

Add contact

Sent:

07 September 2007 21: 49PM

To:

emma_watson15eva@hotmail.com

When I think of you
I think bout our love
When the earth bloomed with spring
Where the sky seemed so white
And the misty dew of the morning lay still
Oh, and i'll remember this
And I always will..

Why is there more new lovers now
Feelin funkin high
Doing what we would have done
For i know that i love you
And it's a part of me and you..

Lo' you lovers, wherever you're
I pray that you'll stay true
For i've been thru' what you're goin thru'
I've been in love like you..

Dont fake, be who you're and follow your star
Be brave, faithful and true,
Love one another, like you've never love before
I've been in love like you..

Savour the night and indulge yourselves
Go into a romantic trance
Why is love so beautiful and true?
For it's one of God's handiwork
Oh don't cry you lovers, just dont be
Don't cry because because i'm alone
Well cant you see that im happy tonite
I've had my share of love..
I've had a love of my own..
And i will love him so...