[sum things to say at heart..]
hi. how are u? im fine. life sux ryte. ppl here and there, bullshiting bout other ppl, backstabbing other ppl. haish. i feel as though im used, well taken into advantage. yup, promise made, promises taken aback
God, wad did i do wrong in this life? uu gave me a very big test, but ppl dun seem to see it. dun seem to believe it. dun seem to accept it. accept me. ppl say sweet words just to loosen things up, but after dat, they went the other direction.
this heart hurts, god. it really hurts. and it pains and burdens me. not to mention wad im going thru, or, has been going thru.
This is to aish, if u are hearing this. im a beast. go away from me. i bite, tear ppl apart. ppl abandon me. put me away to a far place. isolated area. where im left with nuting but ruins and pieces of my life. thot Beauty cums by and brings back the prince. but she too abandon him. heard she's happy now wif sum1 else, wen beast has already fall in love wiv her. Beauty say sumting interesting though. made lotsa reasons to leave, promises to be kept. but wen she was finaaly freed, she left those words to the wind. gone wif the wind. haish. tears are streaming down my eyes rite now. i noe u can never accept me. for wad i am. for who i am. wen i was so sincere in everything i do, u left me for sum1 else. its ok. i noe, perhaps, this guy loves u more than me. more sincere than me. and u left. with reasons. lotsa them. still ringing in my pitiful ears. hurts me so bad. didnt mean to hurt u. never did, cuz i love u wif all my heart. gave u my heart. now i can't feel my heart. its gone. so pitiful, so pathetic i am.
pain is the only word i can describe. all my life, god, i was merely used by ppl, taken by their sweet words, but were poison. god, help me. help me. ples god. i put my trust on the line, now its all gone.
Promisies made and promises taken aback
i haf grown numb of it
my life, so full of those
lies
unsincerity
promises, made to be swee, turn out to be poison
killing me
slowly
these are ur very words, which i kept at heart. but now it seems unrealistically implausibly ironic.
God, forgive me. all i ask from u is forgiveness, and time. time had been a problem for me. if only i had the time, i may haf been smeelling the sweet smell of life.
u may not be mine here, but God, everyday i pray, i my sllep, in my prayers, after breakfast : Oh mighty god, let her be happy always. its her happiness that makes me happy. if she's not mine now, i'll wait till the day u bring all humans together to face ur judgement. dat day where i wud see her at the doors of paradise. if she is not mine now, let she be mine there, where it is eternity. God, forgive me, and those who took advantage of me, for they do not see ur Will, donot see the truth. God, i put my faith in u. that'll u will end my pain.
perhaps my death wud be a day u wud be convince. the day of my death wud be the day of ur happiness. its ok. trying to smile.
love u abg. nas, nad, bren, kamal. my four pillars of strength. my parents, the persons who love me purely. my jnrs, who made me laugh and cry wif me. share my pain, saw my pain there. u guys will always be in my heart. and i'll see u there, at Judgement day. where it is everlasting. insyaallah
Alevels, here i cum. still wearing my depression band. despiteit being broken twice, i still wear it. dunno y.
here and back again.
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
Monday, November 01, 2004
[to my students]
this is dedicated to my two students who will be in the battlefield tomorrow for the Social Studies paper.. Haf faith in ya all.. i got sick becuz of u two... hahaha... just remember, stay cool and relax.. think of God, for He makes ppl the most cleverest creatures.. u can do it.. PS: NURUL AIN!!! DUN LET CARELESS MISTAKES PULL YOU DOWN!!! IF I SEE A SINGLE MISTAKE ON DAT PAPER IM SUCH GONNA KILLLLLLL YOU.. muahahhaha.. lek ar...smile=)
and for mira, try and focus ya? dun let other stuffs bother u.. i haf confidence u get A1 for ur amaths, just like me.. remember, Power Law is the multiple of the function not the addition, always make the same mistakes.. bite baru tau.. muahaha.. (as long no rabbies sua muahahha).. go in the exam hall, bace doa byk2.. i'll be praying for ya both at home.. so far, it works lah.. (thank u God.. U haf been my friend wen i need u.. gif me the happiness i truly seek in life..)
and to ah bao, ey, im ok lah.. i'll try and cum tmr (if im ok..haish) and do clean up of GPF + OP ryte?
phoenix, gotta tell u sumting.. The whiteman say sumting wrong with my *****, very scared ar.. =(..
smile??
this is dedicated to my two students who will be in the battlefield tomorrow for the Social Studies paper.. Haf faith in ya all.. i got sick becuz of u two... hahaha... just remember, stay cool and relax.. think of God, for He makes ppl the most cleverest creatures.. u can do it.. PS: NURUL AIN!!! DUN LET CARELESS MISTAKES PULL YOU DOWN!!! IF I SEE A SINGLE MISTAKE ON DAT PAPER IM SUCH GONNA KILLLLLLL YOU.. muahahhaha.. lek ar...smile=)
and for mira, try and focus ya? dun let other stuffs bother u.. i haf confidence u get A1 for ur amaths, just like me.. remember, Power Law is the multiple of the function not the addition, always make the same mistakes.. bite baru tau.. muahaha.. (as long no rabbies sua muahahha).. go in the exam hall, bace doa byk2.. i'll be praying for ya both at home.. so far, it works lah.. (thank u God.. U haf been my friend wen i need u.. gif me the happiness i truly seek in life..)
and to ah bao, ey, im ok lah.. i'll try and cum tmr (if im ok..haish) and do clean up of GPF + OP ryte?
phoenix, gotta tell u sumting.. The whiteman say sumting wrong with my *****, very scared ar.. =(..
smile??
When there's trouble, you know who to call
(TEEN TITANS!)
From their tower, they can see it all
(TEEN TITANS!)
When there's evil on the attack
You can rest knowing they got your back
'Cause when the world needs heroes on patrol
TEEN TITANS, GO!
TEEN TITANS, GO!
With their super powers, they unite
(TEEN TITANS!)
Never met a villain that they liked
(TEEN TITANS!)
They got the bad guys on the run
They never stop until the job gets done
'Cause when the world is losing all control
TEEN TITANS, GO!
TEEN TITANS, GO!
If your heart is black, you better watch out
You cannot escape the team
When they catch you, there won't be any doubt
You've been beaten by the teens
beaten by the teens
T-E-E-N! T-I-T-A-N-S! TEEN TITANS! LET'S GO!
T-E-E-N! T-I-T-A-N-S! TEEN TITANS! LET'S GO!
T-E-E-N! T-I-T-A-N-S! TEEN TITANS! LET'S GO!
T-E-E-N! T-I-T-A-N-S! TEEN TITANS! LET'S GO!
One, two, three, four, GO! TEEN TITANS!
[things to put in here..]
not feeling dat fantastic yeah.. but ok2 lah.. hey people, listen up! haz tak sakit lah! dier ikot bulan jer.. (cam bocor gitu hahaha.. oppsss!!) siting like a duck here nuting to do.. i downloaded songs , i mean, sttooooopppiddd songs lah.. imagine hazlami shaking his ass to TEEN TITANS THEME SONG( by the way, for those idiots who dunno wad tis means, its not about BIG GIANT TEENS SHAKING THEIR BALLS, but a cartoon show lar.. muahahaha..) fun lah the song.. miss all those childhood shit..
wanna noe bout my childhood life.. oh cumon! i noe ur waiting for it.. okok.. i tell ya k.. ps: as long as u all dun sleep sua.. if not, im goona gif u one power ranger nyer slap muahaha
i spent most of my time playing at home wif my brother.. not those like, sega sets or wad lah.. u noe, toys like lego and stuff (muahaha.. i nuilt better robots den my brother.. but f*** man, he always gets to be leader hahaha).. den u noe, one cute thing dat happen is dat we got workde up in books until we actually 'PLAYED' them out.. we put and aligned pillows to make a bridge, then we acted as billy goats whilst my muma be the great ugly orc (no offence mama, ur not ugly lar.. haha.. u still look young despite going 43 hahaha.. bedek2..=p) then my bro will go like ," Dun eat me, i haf a big brother name BIG BILLY GOAT GRUFF.. He is FATTER and BIGGER than me.." so my muma will say, " ok then, u can pass to the meadow.."
my turn will be wen the BIG GOAT GRUFF ( like real sae.. my body like one piece onie, wind blow become human kite muahahaha) ram its head to the *** of the troll, or orc, or wadever.. so once again, the day is safe! thanks to, the POWER PUFF GURLS.. YIPPE!! muahaha...
but my bro was the weaker species.. for me, i went out to catch spiders, frogs, tadpole, and more.. love to get dirty, i dare say.. (but im clean, yeah.. smell nice too hahaha =p) so off i go and play play..
and OH YES!!! lupe plak..! the BEDAK INCIDENT WAHAHAHA!! this involves the GREAT DEVIL HIMSELF (for those who dunno who is the devil, den i suggest u go and knock ur head or sumting.. muahaha), kak nana and my angelic bro (LIKE REAL!! BUAT BODOH!!) . We started off wen i had this AMAZING IDEA i learn from SESAME'S STREET (love ernie, muack!! hehehe) i saw this guy skating across the ice platform.. thoughts run thru my head (like jimmy neutron, the brain like goes whoosssh and bang..! hahaha) and SUDDENLY!! (all the trouble seems so far away.. oo yesterday, leave silently.. hahha.. smangat beatles plak..!) had this GREEEAAAAT idea! took my JOHNSON&JOHNSON baby powder, and thought, "hmm.. to reduce the force applied by fricton, the surface of the jagged floor must be either polished or replaced by a smooth surface.. hence, this creates a smooth laminar plane that ables the foot of a human to slide on the surface, creating a temporary ice platform.. The more the powder, the better..." (wah, small2 like einstein aready ar? power!!) So i poured almost half the bottle of powder, smooth it with ma feet, and just did a Moon Walk hahaha.. Lil did i realise dat it attracted the attention of kak nana, my beloved cuzzin.. so she herself slide off the floor.. ma brother, looking bored, thought of not joining the party, but god noes how he manage to bring up his fat a** and join us muahaha.. EVIL, AM I???
thought i was a cowboy, took a rafia string, circle it high above me, and threw it in the air.. it flew like a UFO (UFO??? NOT RELEVANT LAH!!) and landed itself on the chandelier (did i spelt it rite?) and i slipped.. God! it pulld edown a few diamonds (fake ones lah.. can get it from groceires near u, put in 50cent, turn the knob, and hey presto, the diamond cum out muahaha) wimme.. hahaha.. got screwed up lah later.. wif kak nana skali isk isk isk.. the devil at work.. muahaha!
enuf of the childhood crap lah haz..
okok, yesterday was SUPER COOL!! ok, morn, wake up for sahur, wash face, sleep, wake up, pray subur, study AKIDAH and TAFSIRAN (its religous subjects lah.. one about faith, the other the understanding of the HOLY QURAN), went to AR RAUDHAH, meet RAHIM and SALIHIN (eh mat, cum AJC ar.. we here like stoopid ppl lacking malays... HIDOP MELAYU!! leh jugak aku main kompang ), did the test (freaking easy lah.. except the part where they gif u an excerpt of the Quran, and ask u to intreprete it.. Tougher than Malay literature sae..! But either than dat, eazy ar..), watch the ARRAUDHAH DIKIR BARAT (sux like shit.. shud haf let me sing instead of dat guy.. he sounds like a hound dog! AUOOOO..) , went home and took my ol' amaths textbk, gif it to RAHIM, then went out wif him play CS (for those , sigh, dumbs one, the Great One reluctantly explains dat CS is Counterstrike, a lan-gaming army tactical warfare game..), then went home, watch Farenheit 911 on tv (padan muke Bush, Babi Bush Kasi Bomb hahahaha), den received a call from a fren, then went out wif her (kirekan accompany her to GreenRidge beli nasi ayam pasal berat... LOGIK??? tapi takpe.. student aku pe.. takmo hampe dier hehehe), bebual nak mati, after dat, break fast (my lil bro got all nasty and wanted to eat the whole packet of chicken rice, despite his small stomach hahaha..) den prayed terawih at home ngan family, den taught my lil bor (apparently, this annoying kiddo hadta be taught a lesson.. i always 'enjoy' teaching him.. muahaha.. if u get wad i mean) den talked to my dear best fren BRENNAN!!! (ey, thanks for ur help man! ) on the phone, watched tv abit more, then went to sleep.. after dat, at 3 freaking mornin shahraini smsed me just to ask whether i had the mood to go fer ml A klass ?? wad the hell?? hahaha.. sorie mate.. =)
now still shaking my a** to the beat of TEEN TITANS THEME SONG (hopefully, u guys get the pic how childish and naive i am hehehehehe).. T.E.E.N T.I.T.A.NS, TEEN TITANS, lets go!!!!!
a snippet to include...
LOVE A PERSON THY HIS STRENGTH, NOT HATE HIM BY HIS FLAWS...
here and back again...
still thinking of u...
not feeling dat fantastic yeah.. but ok2 lah.. hey people, listen up! haz tak sakit lah! dier ikot bulan jer.. (cam bocor gitu hahaha.. oppsss!!) siting like a duck here nuting to do.. i downloaded songs , i mean, sttooooopppiddd songs lah.. imagine hazlami shaking his ass to TEEN TITANS THEME SONG( by the way, for those idiots who dunno wad tis means, its not about BIG GIANT TEENS SHAKING THEIR BALLS, but a cartoon show lar.. muahahaha..) fun lah the song.. miss all those childhood shit..
wanna noe bout my childhood life.. oh cumon! i noe ur waiting for it.. okok.. i tell ya k.. ps: as long as u all dun sleep sua.. if not, im goona gif u one power ranger nyer slap muahaha
i spent most of my time playing at home wif my brother.. not those like, sega sets or wad lah.. u noe, toys like lego and stuff (muahaha.. i nuilt better robots den my brother.. but f*** man, he always gets to be leader hahaha).. den u noe, one cute thing dat happen is dat we got workde up in books until we actually 'PLAYED' them out.. we put and aligned pillows to make a bridge, then we acted as billy goats whilst my muma be the great ugly orc (no offence mama, ur not ugly lar.. haha.. u still look young despite going 43 hahaha.. bedek2..=p) then my bro will go like ," Dun eat me, i haf a big brother name BIG BILLY GOAT GRUFF.. He is FATTER and BIGGER than me.." so my muma will say, " ok then, u can pass to the meadow.."
my turn will be wen the BIG GOAT GRUFF ( like real sae.. my body like one piece onie, wind blow become human kite muahahaha) ram its head to the *** of the troll, or orc, or wadever.. so once again, the day is safe! thanks to, the POWER PUFF GURLS.. YIPPE!! muahaha...
but my bro was the weaker species.. for me, i went out to catch spiders, frogs, tadpole, and more.. love to get dirty, i dare say.. (but im clean, yeah.. smell nice too hahaha =p) so off i go and play play..
and OH YES!!! lupe plak..! the BEDAK INCIDENT WAHAHAHA!! this involves the GREAT DEVIL HIMSELF (for those who dunno who is the devil, den i suggest u go and knock ur head or sumting.. muahaha), kak nana and my angelic bro (LIKE REAL!! BUAT BODOH!!) . We started off wen i had this AMAZING IDEA i learn from SESAME'S STREET (love ernie, muack!! hehehe) i saw this guy skating across the ice platform.. thoughts run thru my head (like jimmy neutron, the brain like goes whoosssh and bang..! hahaha) and SUDDENLY!! (all the trouble seems so far away.. oo yesterday, leave silently.. hahha.. smangat beatles plak..!) had this GREEEAAAAT idea! took my JOHNSON&JOHNSON baby powder, and thought, "hmm.. to reduce the force applied by fricton, the surface of the jagged floor must be either polished or replaced by a smooth surface.. hence, this creates a smooth laminar plane that ables the foot of a human to slide on the surface, creating a temporary ice platform.. The more the powder, the better..." (wah, small2 like einstein aready ar? power!!) So i poured almost half the bottle of powder, smooth it with ma feet, and just did a Moon Walk hahaha.. Lil did i realise dat it attracted the attention of kak nana, my beloved cuzzin.. so she herself slide off the floor.. ma brother, looking bored, thought of not joining the party, but god noes how he manage to bring up his fat a** and join us muahaha.. EVIL, AM I???
thought i was a cowboy, took a rafia string, circle it high above me, and threw it in the air.. it flew like a UFO (UFO??? NOT RELEVANT LAH!!) and landed itself on the chandelier (did i spelt it rite?) and i slipped.. God! it pulld edown a few diamonds (fake ones lah.. can get it from groceires near u, put in 50cent, turn the knob, and hey presto, the diamond cum out muahaha) wimme.. hahaha.. got screwed up lah later.. wif kak nana skali isk isk isk.. the devil at work.. muahaha!
enuf of the childhood crap lah haz..
okok, yesterday was SUPER COOL!! ok, morn, wake up for sahur, wash face, sleep, wake up, pray subur, study AKIDAH and TAFSIRAN (its religous subjects lah.. one about faith, the other the understanding of the HOLY QURAN), went to AR RAUDHAH, meet RAHIM and SALIHIN (eh mat, cum AJC ar.. we here like stoopid ppl lacking malays... HIDOP MELAYU!! leh jugak aku main kompang ), did the test (freaking easy lah.. except the part where they gif u an excerpt of the Quran, and ask u to intreprete it.. Tougher than Malay literature sae..! But either than dat, eazy ar..), watch the ARRAUDHAH DIKIR BARAT (sux like shit.. shud haf let me sing instead of dat guy.. he sounds like a hound dog! AUOOOO..) , went home and took my ol' amaths textbk, gif it to RAHIM, then went out wif him play CS (for those , sigh, dumbs one, the Great One reluctantly explains dat CS is Counterstrike, a lan-gaming army tactical warfare game..), then went home, watch Farenheit 911 on tv (padan muke Bush, Babi Bush Kasi Bomb hahahaha), den received a call from a fren, then went out wif her (kirekan accompany her to GreenRidge beli nasi ayam pasal berat... LOGIK??? tapi takpe.. student aku pe.. takmo hampe dier hehehe), bebual nak mati, after dat, break fast (my lil bro got all nasty and wanted to eat the whole packet of chicken rice, despite his small stomach hahaha..) den prayed terawih at home ngan family, den taught my lil bor (apparently, this annoying kiddo hadta be taught a lesson.. i always 'enjoy' teaching him.. muahaha.. if u get wad i mean) den talked to my dear best fren BRENNAN!!! (ey, thanks for ur help man! ) on the phone, watched tv abit more, then went to sleep.. after dat, at 3 freaking mornin shahraini smsed me just to ask whether i had the mood to go fer ml A klass ?? wad the hell?? hahaha.. sorie mate.. =)
now still shaking my a** to the beat of TEEN TITANS THEME SONG (hopefully, u guys get the pic how childish and naive i am hehehehehe).. T.E.E.N T.I.T.A.NS, TEEN TITANS, lets go!!!!!
a snippet to include...
LOVE A PERSON THY HIS STRENGTH, NOT HATE HIM BY HIS FLAWS...
here and back again...
still thinking of u...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
