I met Ariff to find answers. Instead, it was me posting qns. And all he could do was keeping quiet. No answers for me. So many qns but no answers.
But I'll try to pick myself up. Haji Salleh Meerasa, my Tasawuf teacher, told me something that cheered me up.
"Ini budak ada harapan. Boleh cemerlang, pasal dia sungguh-sungguh."
I dunno wad he 'saw' or what ilham he experiences, but when the maulid was over, and as we went down, my dad went to Cik Amir the guy who sponsors the maulid, and asked him for nursing books, since Cik Amir's wife is a nurse. I was kinda shocked, as I haven't receive any letters indicating my place in Nursing yet. But from the look of what Tuan Guru says, and my dad's sudden actions, I think Allah has shown some light on me. I might go Nursing.
But whatever it is, im starting to miss Dian. I kept looking at my hp. Look back at all the msges.
Tough life. Tough times ahead. :(
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Saturday, April 26, 2008
I feel like not going out today. Alot of ppl asked me out but I told them im not feeling well. Ystd was abit fun, watching wizard of oz at free screening sumwhere near National Museum out in the open w Taufiq Din n wanpee. And Mira gave me a call, and it was the sweetest call I ever received. I was so touched the fact that she cried reading the entry and str8 away called me to see if im ok. Nobody does that to me. Really. Dropping msges are common. But calling up a friend to ask him if he is ok and be patient is a phenomenon. Thx Mira. Realli. And Nisa called me. She say she dreamt abt me saying, "Im not there for you as how you're there for me." Thou I do not understand what dat means, i realli am grateful to share a tearful convo with you. Thx dear. Realli appreciate that. Id promise I'd bring you out to catch an open air free screening movie.
But still im sad. No ice-cream can make me happy. Trying to fill up ma time w gym and soccer and kelas agama later. Im not going to the Alpha Gathering at Simpang bedok. Just wanna sit at home alone pondering wad the fish has happened to me. :(
This song is esp for me and for you dian.. Wherever you are..
Akhir Cerita Cinta
sandiwarakah selama ini
setelah sekian lama kita telah bersama
inikah akhir cerita cinta
yang selalu aku banggakan
didepan mereka
entah dimana kusembunyikan rasa malu
oh...
kini harus aku lewati
sepi hariku
tanpa dirimu lagi
biarkan kini ku berdiri
melawan waktu
untuk melupakanmu
walau pedih hati ini
namun aku bertahan..
But still im sad. No ice-cream can make me happy. Trying to fill up ma time w gym and soccer and kelas agama later. Im not going to the Alpha Gathering at Simpang bedok. Just wanna sit at home alone pondering wad the fish has happened to me. :(
This song is esp for me and for you dian.. Wherever you are..
Akhir Cerita Cinta
sandiwarakah selama ini
setelah sekian lama kita telah bersama
inikah akhir cerita cinta
yang selalu aku banggakan
didepan mereka
entah dimana kusembunyikan rasa malu
oh...
kini harus aku lewati
sepi hariku
tanpa dirimu lagi
biarkan kini ku berdiri
melawan waktu
untuk melupakanmu
walau pedih hati ini
namun aku bertahan..
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Dian is gone.
Im broken. I was shocked to receive a msg by Taufiq saying that dian passed away.
Dian farzanna is gone.
For a yr plus I have waited to glimpse her face, but now its all too late.
I went limp, numb by the words left in my phone. I sat outside IRAS lost in time. And at that moment I was listening to Acha Septriasa's Sampai Menutup Mata- the song that she sang to me. Tears just kept flowing. I couldn't hold it. So many sacrifices I have made. So many. So so many. So much patience and loyalty. For a year I hold on to the promises I've made.
I shall recapped the journey that I've been through. To let it all out. To stop the pain in my heart.
People hold the wrong perception on her. And I did my best to hold it back, to protect what I love. By believing.
Dian Farzanna is such a beauty. She was a friend. In fact the only friend that I share all the deepest darkest secrets of my life. She was there every step. every obstacle that I came across- she was there. Love blossomed only because of the friendship we share. I never get the chance to see her, but after 2 months of knowing each other, she pop the qn as I was about to leave Singapore for Taiwan.
A mix-blood of Caucasian-German-Pan Asian girl, she excelled in her studies, achieving First Class Honours in Music, from Royal College of London, Music. She was born a prodigy, often playing for me and my army friends music pieces like MCR etc on piano. A quiet girl, but full of life- until the sickness came and took it all away.
After getting together, I made her promise me to wait for me till I return from a mth in Taiwan, fetch me from the Airport. Love grew deep like roots pouring through the sands. Communication was limited over there. My handphone was stolen, and panicking to save my relationship, I forge through pain and thick, walking 14 km and back to the nearest 7-11 to find something, anything, that could help me. It was futile, as there wasnt any hicard on sale in Taiwan, and I bought a normal phonecard. So I used a friend's hp to msg her, only a few, and the rest leaving her voice msges to her hp. Even during RnR, I emailed her constantly to say how much I missed her. I kept looking at her pics in my psp, and during outfield, in that cold freezing place, I kept myself alive, by imagining how it feels like after all of this is over, and that at last I can be with her.
But my dreams were shattered. 5 days till Singapore, I received a msg from her thru Taufik's hp. She had to leave Singapore for Australia to follow her family. She cannot fetch me from the Airport. And she told me she would leave to London to further her studies.
I remember how it felt that day. I was sitting with my fellow best buddies. Din was there, with Taufik and Sufian. Izhar and Wanpee on the other side of the bed. We were cleaning our weapon in prep to leave camp for hotel. I remember the tears that slowly leaked out. I was thinking, why everytime Im dis close to feel a true relationship, it will result in a failure? Why?
I came back to Singapore and took a cab back home. Alone. I felt horrible. But I was determined to hold on. I say, i wait. I will wait. I will sacrifice. Maybe perhaps with the sacrifice and patience, things would work out.
We talked on the phone, and shared so much. I always felt happy everytime I talk to her on the hp. She bought me a cake to celebrate 5mths of our friendship and love. Nobody special would buy me a cake, but she did. And not just that. The many other expensive stuff which includes the Jane Shilton wallet, the jeans, shirts, and that exp leather blazer. And all i could afford was a lucky bracelet, and a musical box.
Probs came and go, but we went strong. There were a couple of times I felt so much tension, and she was saying abt breaking up and stuff, and I was so close of breaking it. But the heart kept going. I say no, I say we must be stronger.
That's when she was warded a cancer patient. They found a tumor a size of 50cent coin near her left brain. That explains her frequent headaches. At that moment it was stage 1.
She was broken. I felt so sorry. But I knew I have to be strong for her. There was a chance of recovery. I went around, maulids after maulids, tahlils and majlis zikr, to pray for her health. It was so intensive, nearly every sat and sun was filled with prayer sessions. Just for her.
I remember, during Ramadhan, I called her when she was sick and bed-ridden, and I read the Yasin followed by tearful doas to ask for mercy from God.
I wanted to see her. It was so desperate. I held on. Her tantrums, her sufferings, frequent calls to let out her physical pains- I became the punching bag. And for 7 mths I persevered. It was so tough. So rocky. And with so much stuff going on back in camp, I was left clueless on what to act upon.
And yet I kept praying. I kept praying. So many things happen, but yet I kept it all to myself. Nobody knew how i felt. They keep saying, leave her, she is sick, you don't even get the chance to see her, you deserve better haz. Den define better. Define.
5 relationships in a span of 3 years, and define me better. While people happily struck 3 years of relationship, I could only hope for more than a 5 mths.
It has always been that way. And I thought, it cannot happen between me and dian. It cannot. I have to give my all, my best. My 110%.
The songs that I sang to her, the late nights talking to her, assuring her to remain strong and kept faith. So much. So much.
And now its as though a vacuum suck everything out of me. I felt like vomitting. The memories were so painful. And yet ppl kept saying, teasing me, and never did they understand what I really went thru.
Only God knew. And the pillow that served as my crying hole, to hide my face while I silently let my pain go, wishing that I could wipe it all clean.
I tried smiling. I went to the toilet, and tried smiling. But all was fake.
Dian farzanna. My girl. My friend. My best friend.
And now she is gone. Forever.
Where now, haz? What now?
Move on? Get another? I know the drill. Time will pass, and it'll heal. New memories will cover the old ones. That's life. That's how you do it.
But what if I don't want to? What if I never ever want to commit anymore?
What if I give up, and commit my love to the world? Till I get old and ppl will just forget me while I die and rot in a quiet room where no one would visit me?
Who then would put me to my grave? Who then would pray for me when Im gone?
Im done. :( even tons of ice-creams wun help. I'll cry and weep and mourn till I can't cry no more. Isz Sazli gone. Now dian. Y..............................................................................................................................................................................................................
PS: fyi, the last words she ever said to me, was, " den you'll collect my corpse!" and all I did was say,"do come back to Singapore" :((
Am I a bad person? Do I deserve all this?
... Cintaku, sampai ku menutup mata...
Dian farzanna is gone.
For a yr plus I have waited to glimpse her face, but now its all too late.
I went limp, numb by the words left in my phone. I sat outside IRAS lost in time. And at that moment I was listening to Acha Septriasa's Sampai Menutup Mata- the song that she sang to me. Tears just kept flowing. I couldn't hold it. So many sacrifices I have made. So many. So so many. So much patience and loyalty. For a year I hold on to the promises I've made.
I shall recapped the journey that I've been through. To let it all out. To stop the pain in my heart.
People hold the wrong perception on her. And I did my best to hold it back, to protect what I love. By believing.
Dian Farzanna is such a beauty. She was a friend. In fact the only friend that I share all the deepest darkest secrets of my life. She was there every step. every obstacle that I came across- she was there. Love blossomed only because of the friendship we share. I never get the chance to see her, but after 2 months of knowing each other, she pop the qn as I was about to leave Singapore for Taiwan.
A mix-blood of Caucasian-German-Pan Asian girl, she excelled in her studies, achieving First Class Honours in Music, from Royal College of London, Music. She was born a prodigy, often playing for me and my army friends music pieces like MCR etc on piano. A quiet girl, but full of life- until the sickness came and took it all away.
After getting together, I made her promise me to wait for me till I return from a mth in Taiwan, fetch me from the Airport. Love grew deep like roots pouring through the sands. Communication was limited over there. My handphone was stolen, and panicking to save my relationship, I forge through pain and thick, walking 14 km and back to the nearest 7-11 to find something, anything, that could help me. It was futile, as there wasnt any hicard on sale in Taiwan, and I bought a normal phonecard. So I used a friend's hp to msg her, only a few, and the rest leaving her voice msges to her hp. Even during RnR, I emailed her constantly to say how much I missed her. I kept looking at her pics in my psp, and during outfield, in that cold freezing place, I kept myself alive, by imagining how it feels like after all of this is over, and that at last I can be with her.
But my dreams were shattered. 5 days till Singapore, I received a msg from her thru Taufik's hp. She had to leave Singapore for Australia to follow her family. She cannot fetch me from the Airport. And she told me she would leave to London to further her studies.
I remember how it felt that day. I was sitting with my fellow best buddies. Din was there, with Taufik and Sufian. Izhar and Wanpee on the other side of the bed. We were cleaning our weapon in prep to leave camp for hotel. I remember the tears that slowly leaked out. I was thinking, why everytime Im dis close to feel a true relationship, it will result in a failure? Why?
I came back to Singapore and took a cab back home. Alone. I felt horrible. But I was determined to hold on. I say, i wait. I will wait. I will sacrifice. Maybe perhaps with the sacrifice and patience, things would work out.
We talked on the phone, and shared so much. I always felt happy everytime I talk to her on the hp. She bought me a cake to celebrate 5mths of our friendship and love. Nobody special would buy me a cake, but she did. And not just that. The many other expensive stuff which includes the Jane Shilton wallet, the jeans, shirts, and that exp leather blazer. And all i could afford was a lucky bracelet, and a musical box.
Probs came and go, but we went strong. There were a couple of times I felt so much tension, and she was saying abt breaking up and stuff, and I was so close of breaking it. But the heart kept going. I say no, I say we must be stronger.
That's when she was warded a cancer patient. They found a tumor a size of 50cent coin near her left brain. That explains her frequent headaches. At that moment it was stage 1.
She was broken. I felt so sorry. But I knew I have to be strong for her. There was a chance of recovery. I went around, maulids after maulids, tahlils and majlis zikr, to pray for her health. It was so intensive, nearly every sat and sun was filled with prayer sessions. Just for her.
I remember, during Ramadhan, I called her when she was sick and bed-ridden, and I read the Yasin followed by tearful doas to ask for mercy from God.
I wanted to see her. It was so desperate. I held on. Her tantrums, her sufferings, frequent calls to let out her physical pains- I became the punching bag. And for 7 mths I persevered. It was so tough. So rocky. And with so much stuff going on back in camp, I was left clueless on what to act upon.
And yet I kept praying. I kept praying. So many things happen, but yet I kept it all to myself. Nobody knew how i felt. They keep saying, leave her, she is sick, you don't even get the chance to see her, you deserve better haz. Den define better. Define.
5 relationships in a span of 3 years, and define me better. While people happily struck 3 years of relationship, I could only hope for more than a 5 mths.
It has always been that way. And I thought, it cannot happen between me and dian. It cannot. I have to give my all, my best. My 110%.
The songs that I sang to her, the late nights talking to her, assuring her to remain strong and kept faith. So much. So much.
And now its as though a vacuum suck everything out of me. I felt like vomitting. The memories were so painful. And yet ppl kept saying, teasing me, and never did they understand what I really went thru.
Only God knew. And the pillow that served as my crying hole, to hide my face while I silently let my pain go, wishing that I could wipe it all clean.
I tried smiling. I went to the toilet, and tried smiling. But all was fake.
Dian farzanna. My girl. My friend. My best friend.
And now she is gone. Forever.
Where now, haz? What now?
Move on? Get another? I know the drill. Time will pass, and it'll heal. New memories will cover the old ones. That's life. That's how you do it.
But what if I don't want to? What if I never ever want to commit anymore?
What if I give up, and commit my love to the world? Till I get old and ppl will just forget me while I die and rot in a quiet room where no one would visit me?
Who then would put me to my grave? Who then would pray for me when Im gone?
Im done. :( even tons of ice-creams wun help. I'll cry and weep and mourn till I can't cry no more. Isz Sazli gone. Now dian. Y..............................................................................................................................................................................................................
PS: fyi, the last words she ever said to me, was, " den you'll collect my corpse!" and all I did was say,"do come back to Singapore" :((
Am I a bad person? Do I deserve all this?
... Cintaku, sampai ku menutup mata...
Saturday, April 19, 2008
I had a tough week, fighting forms and thick attachments with bizarre letters stuck in between, and fighting the flu and fever virus that kept me on the sidelines for the whole week.
Seriously it hasn't been a pleasant journey. The temp went 40, so its no joke. I tot I was gonna die. And even some well wishes by ppl thru smses and calls didnt change anything. I lay low like a sick cat aint eating its meal.
And then went to work, and my production went to the gallows with a mere 30-60 a day. And usually wen my TTA gals tease me im all-funny, but the PMS struck and I became senstitive and so I kept mummed the whole way. Food taste like empty water.
That's the reason why im staying at home the whole weekend. Recuperate. Get myself adjusted and well-straightened up. So that I can keep my youth and vigour for the next week.
But the highlight for this week would be on the Thurs. After work I had a msg by dad, saying that the NUS letter came and he feels 'responsible' to open it. See? Fathers and their ultra ego. It wun hurt if he would say, im anxious and excited to open the letter. Ryt?
And sure enough, i gave him a call. Guess what? Interview for Nursing.
Some would laugh at me. Haz jadi nurse? Muahahahahahahha..
Well i dun find it funny thou.
So i sat by the curb waiting for din, and gave myself a deep thought. Wad must I do?
Wad could i do?
Can dis lead to my ultimate dream?
Can dis lead me to Africa, wearing an UN armband treating the poor?
Can dis allow me the opp to take pics with the kids in Palestine?
Can dis allow me to travel around the world, taking pics of life, and finally piecing everything up with a book?
Can dis allow me to be who I want to be, taking risks and explore the unanimous world?
Can dis lead to a relax retirement, some place away from humanity where I can learn something abt death?
I dunno. But wherever He places me, I redha.
But nevertheless, the money is good. I don't do nursing. I manage nurses. Get it? Hahaha..
With a degree, I can go to even UK to work. Its a key. God has shown His plan. He integrates my soft soul for the world with my firing aspirations to explore into a single path. Nursing.
Im proud to be a Muslim.
Anyways, we meaning Wanpee Din Izhar and me decided to open a business selling T-shirts. I think its a gd idea considering the talents in it. Din and Izhar are good in designing. Wanpee is a working bee. And me? Im just good at talking. Hahaha, i get the easy part.
Well, im setting up templates for them like shares, and the budget and marketing sector and stuff liddat for them. Thinking of a name for our small mini company. Hmm..
Taufiq's words gave me some thought. The part when Ariff disappears at the moment I sent out those emails to them- hell suspicious. He plays the avoiding game. But maybe I shud give it a rest and carry on with my life. Maybe..
And one more thing- I always have a problem asking a person out. I have to go round the bush just to pop the qn. And in the end, the mood disappears and I went to slp. That's a very bad habit. Shame on me, shame!
Im just shy, I was born that way, perhaps the person could be the initiator instead. Haha.
Wokeh. Wanna watch tv. Beep.
PS: Im starting to like you. :)
Seriously it hasn't been a pleasant journey. The temp went 40, so its no joke. I tot I was gonna die. And even some well wishes by ppl thru smses and calls didnt change anything. I lay low like a sick cat aint eating its meal.
And then went to work, and my production went to the gallows with a mere 30-60 a day. And usually wen my TTA gals tease me im all-funny, but the PMS struck and I became senstitive and so I kept mummed the whole way. Food taste like empty water.
That's the reason why im staying at home the whole weekend. Recuperate. Get myself adjusted and well-straightened up. So that I can keep my youth and vigour for the next week.
But the highlight for this week would be on the Thurs. After work I had a msg by dad, saying that the NUS letter came and he feels 'responsible' to open it. See? Fathers and their ultra ego. It wun hurt if he would say, im anxious and excited to open the letter. Ryt?
And sure enough, i gave him a call. Guess what? Interview for Nursing.
Some would laugh at me. Haz jadi nurse? Muahahahahahahha..
Well i dun find it funny thou.
So i sat by the curb waiting for din, and gave myself a deep thought. Wad must I do?
Wad could i do?
Can dis lead to my ultimate dream?
Can dis lead me to Africa, wearing an UN armband treating the poor?
Can dis allow me the opp to take pics with the kids in Palestine?
Can dis allow me to travel around the world, taking pics of life, and finally piecing everything up with a book?
Can dis allow me to be who I want to be, taking risks and explore the unanimous world?
Can dis lead to a relax retirement, some place away from humanity where I can learn something abt death?
I dunno. But wherever He places me, I redha.
But nevertheless, the money is good. I don't do nursing. I manage nurses. Get it? Hahaha..
With a degree, I can go to even UK to work. Its a key. God has shown His plan. He integrates my soft soul for the world with my firing aspirations to explore into a single path. Nursing.
Im proud to be a Muslim.
Anyways, we meaning Wanpee Din Izhar and me decided to open a business selling T-shirts. I think its a gd idea considering the talents in it. Din and Izhar are good in designing. Wanpee is a working bee. And me? Im just good at talking. Hahaha, i get the easy part.
Well, im setting up templates for them like shares, and the budget and marketing sector and stuff liddat for them. Thinking of a name for our small mini company. Hmm..
Taufiq's words gave me some thought. The part when Ariff disappears at the moment I sent out those emails to them- hell suspicious. He plays the avoiding game. But maybe I shud give it a rest and carry on with my life. Maybe..
And one more thing- I always have a problem asking a person out. I have to go round the bush just to pop the qn. And in the end, the mood disappears and I went to slp. That's a very bad habit. Shame on me, shame!
Im just shy, I was born that way, perhaps the person could be the initiator instead. Haha.
Wokeh. Wanna watch tv. Beep.
PS: Im starting to like you. :)
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Wad a nyt on sat!
I crashed into a gd fren's class gathering, made new frens, den went to a dance studio and dance!
And wads more, it was hip hop!
So I and Azhari went to find a cap, and in the end he got a nice red one which i wanted so badly but i got tite budget at Far East.
Had dinner (salad to detoxified my shisha-exposed lungs) and off we went to Tanjong Pagar.
He got this crew which is made up of his classmates back in MI. Now dats a cool class. There's fauzi who is the crew leader, one of the best dancers i've seen in SP, and who is my MUSHU master haha, there's two hafizes, a chris, a chinese girl i forgot her name, munirah, and a few more.
And in the dance floor we practically expressed everything, and I think as a novice I do have some moves up my sleeve haha! Azhari kept saying, your moves are like jabbawockeez, of cuz la, im influenced by them, but im also keen to learn a few bboy moves as well.
I left the place feeling a rush that kept me alive inside, like you have drank a cup from the fountain of youth. And also the red cap that Azhari left it to me to safe keep it till the day I met him and go buy my first hip hop cap.
Haha. Duh.
So many things to say, but till i get my hands on the pics, i dun have anything to type. So da!
PS: We danced to every single song from the Step Up 2 movie. And I hope the nxt one, which fauzi says it would be a routine, comes early. So I can release the tension of having PushyPa in my dreams hahaha! (fyi, pushypa is my supervisor in IRAS)
I crashed into a gd fren's class gathering, made new frens, den went to a dance studio and dance!
And wads more, it was hip hop!
So I and Azhari went to find a cap, and in the end he got a nice red one which i wanted so badly but i got tite budget at Far East.
Had dinner (salad to detoxified my shisha-exposed lungs) and off we went to Tanjong Pagar.
He got this crew which is made up of his classmates back in MI. Now dats a cool class. There's fauzi who is the crew leader, one of the best dancers i've seen in SP, and who is my MUSHU master haha, there's two hafizes, a chris, a chinese girl i forgot her name, munirah, and a few more.
And in the dance floor we practically expressed everything, and I think as a novice I do have some moves up my sleeve haha! Azhari kept saying, your moves are like jabbawockeez, of cuz la, im influenced by them, but im also keen to learn a few bboy moves as well.
I left the place feeling a rush that kept me alive inside, like you have drank a cup from the fountain of youth. And also the red cap that Azhari left it to me to safe keep it till the day I met him and go buy my first hip hop cap.
Haha. Duh.
So many things to say, but till i get my hands on the pics, i dun have anything to type. So da!
PS: We danced to every single song from the Step Up 2 movie. And I hope the nxt one, which fauzi says it would be a routine, comes early. So I can release the tension of having PushyPa in my dreams hahaha! (fyi, pushypa is my supervisor in IRAS)
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Im so shagged after work. No more fly pies for the whole yr. Seriously. No mood to do shit. But hey hey hey! Im looking forward to SATURDAY!!
Guess what? Im a guest in this hip hop gathering of ma gd fren Azhari and his crew! Well, im nt sure what to wear cz im nt a hip hop person, but i like to try it yea! Its kinda cool learning new stuff, other than the constant mistakes i made when im screening taxpayer's forms!
I cannot summarise the whole weeks worth of crap, but highlights wud do.
1) Arsenal is out. Taik.
2) Im becoming increasingly productive, much to my utter dismay.
3) Im getting 2hrs of slp now, due to having bad nightmares about Form B1s and do I need to batch them out..
4) Mum is sick :(
5) Had a gd time chilling at Starbucks after maghrib on Wed with Azhari talking abt how good men like us losing out to bad rugged boiz who have the upper edge of wooing nice girls..
6) Pay day dah smpi, but how small it may be like, im still gonna say, alhamdulillah..
7) Sat im gonna be 100% jabbafied after a few learning moves by Azhari's crew
8) A sudden lack of gaming habits pushed me to greater stress
9) Royal plaza's double chocs chip brownie makes me drool for more
10) Went out with Imran and geng, the IRAS boys to go for a lil 'gentlemen' shopping at city hall
11) Wanna buy that swatch watch that has a cool design on it, and that white leather slipon shoe at peradas.. (is that how u spell it)
12) Had a fiery debate with Hasanul yesterday night about PAS and politics
13) Realised that im more a 'result-oriented' person
14) Realised that im never a fighter but would love to do ground charity work
15) Sudden dream to go to Palestine and Africa and join Mercy Relief to help the poor and weak who are suffering from war and political nonsense
16) Sudden desire to go ice skating with a friend who wants me to bring her out and try something diff since SP is getting more boring everyday
17) Sudden desire to go to that place opp Clifford Pier, to that one secret place where u can see the city lights from afar, and yet see the stars, but mosquito repellent is a necessity
18) Getting sick and tired from doing the same shit everyday like a robot
19) Want that Dell Laptop, but it costs 1500 bux!
20) Maybe photography could come into my pic later after hearing the amt of capital needed to invest on lenses etc
Thats it. Hmm, what song to put uh?
Ah, lagu nie best.
My chemical romance- SLEEP
So shut your eyes,
Kiss me goodbye,
And sleep......
Just sleep..........
ZzZzZzZzZz..
Guess what? Im a guest in this hip hop gathering of ma gd fren Azhari and his crew! Well, im nt sure what to wear cz im nt a hip hop person, but i like to try it yea! Its kinda cool learning new stuff, other than the constant mistakes i made when im screening taxpayer's forms!
I cannot summarise the whole weeks worth of crap, but highlights wud do.
1) Arsenal is out. Taik.
2) Im becoming increasingly productive, much to my utter dismay.
3) Im getting 2hrs of slp now, due to having bad nightmares about Form B1s and do I need to batch them out..
4) Mum is sick :(
5) Had a gd time chilling at Starbucks after maghrib on Wed with Azhari talking abt how good men like us losing out to bad rugged boiz who have the upper edge of wooing nice girls..
6) Pay day dah smpi, but how small it may be like, im still gonna say, alhamdulillah..
7) Sat im gonna be 100% jabbafied after a few learning moves by Azhari's crew
8) A sudden lack of gaming habits pushed me to greater stress
9) Royal plaza's double chocs chip brownie makes me drool for more
10) Went out with Imran and geng, the IRAS boys to go for a lil 'gentlemen' shopping at city hall
11) Wanna buy that swatch watch that has a cool design on it, and that white leather slipon shoe at peradas.. (is that how u spell it)
12) Had a fiery debate with Hasanul yesterday night about PAS and politics
13) Realised that im more a 'result-oriented' person
14) Realised that im never a fighter but would love to do ground charity work
15) Sudden dream to go to Palestine and Africa and join Mercy Relief to help the poor and weak who are suffering from war and political nonsense
16) Sudden desire to go ice skating with a friend who wants me to bring her out and try something diff since SP is getting more boring everyday
17) Sudden desire to go to that place opp Clifford Pier, to that one secret place where u can see the city lights from afar, and yet see the stars, but mosquito repellent is a necessity
18) Getting sick and tired from doing the same shit everyday like a robot
19) Want that Dell Laptop, but it costs 1500 bux!
20) Maybe photography could come into my pic later after hearing the amt of capital needed to invest on lenses etc
Thats it. Hmm, what song to put uh?
Ah, lagu nie best.
My chemical romance- SLEEP
So shut your eyes,
Kiss me goodbye,
And sleep......
Just sleep..........
ZzZzZzZzZz..
Thursday, April 03, 2008
Work was hell. I am so shagged. Late night escapades coupled by alot of forms and numbers and protocols to remember is making my head go berserk. Yesterday i tripled my output, but today, with the weather so gloomy, things were starting to get freaky. Luckily i met sumone dat brightened up my day instantaneously.
Nurulain.
My beloved godsister. It has been like freak light years since I saw u, and look! Ur no more chubby haha! And the reason y I love this lil creature to bits, is that no matter wad, she or they would really understand and appreciate and backed me up and give me loads of motivation. Thanks!
It was sweet to know that you ppl have never forgotten me. Haha. And yeah, it was sweet ain, to compliment me in front of ur frenz who are my colleagues now, and made me blush haha! Do u actually noe that it has been like a century since I blushed? Hahaha.. Malu seh!
And yea, aku masih giler macam dulu, tapi dalam2 aku baik kan kan? Hahaha..
And yea,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO IZHAR AND TAUFIQ FOR MAKING THE 23rd and 22nd mark RESPECTIVELY!! HAHA!!
On wednesday, we boyz went to make izhar run like mad around town juz to get his cake that has no knife to cut and in the end we used an ARMY JACK KNIFE (courtesy by yours truly) to cut the cake!
On top of that, it was so unplanned that we decided to eat and talk crap in between taka and wisma haha! God i didn't know there's a garden in btwn it haha!
So we talked crap and stuff, and hell it was fun haha! The look on Izhar's face when he scolded me for making him run here and there haha! And when he saw the cake, i cud even hear his voice kinda trembled abit, perhaps touched? haha, so much for the high ego!
Anyways, after that we went home and I prayed and bathed and was abt to close my eyes to slp when Azhari called me at 1145pm. Dude, I was like going to die but you just called me when I was abt to have my solemn resting haven haha! So we talked, and goodness me, look at the time! It was my first ever guy to guy talk on the phone that reached close to an hour n half! Haha.. No we are not gay, just very good friends that have so much things in common..
Like how i like to travel and be rebellious, be who I want to be, know what I want to do, have fun doing things that are out of the box, wanting to be free and away from societal norms and live in a corrected just life that holds the epitome of being yours truly.
And yes, arsenal draw with liverpool at home. Next match they must win. If not, I would shred my bro's jersey to bits haha!
Oh ya, the guy still havent emailed me yet. Guess he is a chicken after all. Guess he is a liar after all. And you'll pay for being that way. God has his Masterplan for those who lie upon others and gave ppl false hope that make a person wait for 1 yr for nothing.
Speaking of which, i did talked to her, but i still dunt know her name. Haha. Hmm.. But yeah, i enjoy the flying pies she gave me, kinda spur me on to clear more forms haha! And still the team is pondering who am I receiving or making flypies at. Hahaha. Flypies. What nonsense.
Oh well, I guess sumtimes u have to be get the average ones instead. But still, it is always cool if a woman WATCH SOCCER!!!
:D hope my flypie never see this post haha!
btw, enjoy the song by oasis, the Masterplan. Listen to the lyrics carefully, and be thrilled by the world you'd see from it. :)
Take the time to make some sense
Of what you want to say
And cast your words away upon the waves
Bring them back with acquiesce
On a ship of hope today
And as they land upon the shore
Tell them not to fear no more
Say it loud and sing it proud
And they...
Will dance if they want to dance
Please brother take a chance
You know they're gonna go
Which way they wanna go
All we know is that we don't know --
What is gonna be
Please brother let it be
Life on the other hand wont let you understand
Why were all part of the masterplan..
Im not saying right is wrong
Its up to us to make
The best of all things that come our way
And all the things that came have past
The answers in the looking glass
There's four and twenty million doors
On life's endless corridor
Say it loud and sing it proud
And they...
Will dance if they want to dance
Please brother take a chance
You know theyre gonna go
Which way they wanna go
All we know is that we dont know --
What is gonna be
Please brother let it be
Life on the other hand wont let you understand
Why were all part of the masterplan..
Nurulain.
My beloved godsister. It has been like freak light years since I saw u, and look! Ur no more chubby haha! And the reason y I love this lil creature to bits, is that no matter wad, she or they would really understand and appreciate and backed me up and give me loads of motivation. Thanks!
It was sweet to know that you ppl have never forgotten me. Haha. And yeah, it was sweet ain, to compliment me in front of ur frenz who are my colleagues now, and made me blush haha! Do u actually noe that it has been like a century since I blushed? Hahaha.. Malu seh!
And yea, aku masih giler macam dulu, tapi dalam2 aku baik kan kan? Hahaha..
And yea,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO IZHAR AND TAUFIQ FOR MAKING THE 23rd and 22nd mark RESPECTIVELY!! HAHA!!
On wednesday, we boyz went to make izhar run like mad around town juz to get his cake that has no knife to cut and in the end we used an ARMY JACK KNIFE (courtesy by yours truly) to cut the cake!
On top of that, it was so unplanned that we decided to eat and talk crap in between taka and wisma haha! God i didn't know there's a garden in btwn it haha!
So we talked crap and stuff, and hell it was fun haha! The look on Izhar's face when he scolded me for making him run here and there haha! And when he saw the cake, i cud even hear his voice kinda trembled abit, perhaps touched? haha, so much for the high ego!
Anyways, after that we went home and I prayed and bathed and was abt to close my eyes to slp when Azhari called me at 1145pm. Dude, I was like going to die but you just called me when I was abt to have my solemn resting haven haha! So we talked, and goodness me, look at the time! It was my first ever guy to guy talk on the phone that reached close to an hour n half! Haha.. No we are not gay, just very good friends that have so much things in common..
Like how i like to travel and be rebellious, be who I want to be, know what I want to do, have fun doing things that are out of the box, wanting to be free and away from societal norms and live in a corrected just life that holds the epitome of being yours truly.
And yes, arsenal draw with liverpool at home. Next match they must win. If not, I would shred my bro's jersey to bits haha!
Oh ya, the guy still havent emailed me yet. Guess he is a chicken after all. Guess he is a liar after all. And you'll pay for being that way. God has his Masterplan for those who lie upon others and gave ppl false hope that make a person wait for 1 yr for nothing.
Speaking of which, i did talked to her, but i still dunt know her name. Haha. Hmm.. But yeah, i enjoy the flying pies she gave me, kinda spur me on to clear more forms haha! And still the team is pondering who am I receiving or making flypies at. Hahaha. Flypies. What nonsense.
Oh well, I guess sumtimes u have to be get the average ones instead. But still, it is always cool if a woman WATCH SOCCER!!!
:D hope my flypie never see this post haha!
btw, enjoy the song by oasis, the Masterplan. Listen to the lyrics carefully, and be thrilled by the world you'd see from it. :)
Take the time to make some sense
Of what you want to say
And cast your words away upon the waves
Bring them back with acquiesce
On a ship of hope today
And as they land upon the shore
Tell them not to fear no more
Say it loud and sing it proud
And they...
Will dance if they want to dance
Please brother take a chance
You know they're gonna go
Which way they wanna go
All we know is that we don't know --
What is gonna be
Please brother let it be
Life on the other hand wont let you understand
Why were all part of the masterplan..
Im not saying right is wrong
Its up to us to make
The best of all things that come our way
And all the things that came have past
The answers in the looking glass
There's four and twenty million doors
On life's endless corridor
Say it loud and sing it proud
And they...
Will dance if they want to dance
Please brother take a chance
You know theyre gonna go
Which way they wanna go
All we know is that we dont know --
What is gonna be
Please brother let it be
Life on the other hand wont let you understand
Why were all part of the masterplan..
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