Shaggedelic: The one time virus that is rawkin the nation

Im back, whee he. At last, i am given the absolute power to do stuff on the internet. Its been like wad, 3 months? Goodness, it feels so refreshing. And to tap it all off, i actually exercised for like, 6 hours of non-stop physical activity. 3 days of straight gym work, and today, after friday prayers (andstill, i do see people, or shud i specifically recall, mat lepak and etc do NOT go to friday prayers. Eh, u guys pray 2 times a year issit? ) i actually played soccer till 6pm with my soccer pals. And i only had 2 prata (or in Negeri Sembilan, they call it roti canai, and for ur info, if u do ask for roti prata, they'll cooked it with lots of planta as topping, roti planta, haha, interesting..) And to end it all off, my father asked me to fetch him from Sheng Siong to carry goods. Imagine the horror of carrying two extremely heavy piece of worth crap from Ten Mile Junction to Senja Rd, nt to mention the extra 1km run from Teck Whye to Shen Siong (the place where i played). Sheesh,bug complains from the Respected One.

I want to mention my experience as an innocent angel (yeah, right u are) clubbin' till late night. Only two trips, and it is enuf for me nt to ever go there animore. Went to M.O.S( Ministry of Sound) on wed, and my only intention of going is to accompany my good old friend, Brennan, who appears to hv free entry tix for two. And so we went, lined up with the rest of them, and in i go.

Rule no 1: Get urself an oxygen tank if u must, cuz the air there really intoxifies u. Full of CIGARETTE SMOKE (the boldlines infers my absolute hatred to smokers. Why in the ruddy hell do God invent cigarettes?)

Rule no 2: Get urself a companionship, a variety of ppl, boring ones and happening ones,and bring female human beings if u must

Rule no 3: Do NOT buy any drinks in there, even if u suffer from hydration, for the love of God, pls DON'T

Rule no 4: Beware of the drunk. Especially women, who cannot hold their liquor. There's this once at MOS, a gurl came directly at me an attempt a dirty dance, and started kissing my jacket, and altho she is H.O.T, it really isn't right. She ended up kissing some other guy. And im really not regretting it. she wasn't herself anyway, most of them are. But i am not like those people. I am, Hazlami, Hazlami. And i dun drink, one night stands, court girls, smoke or wadever. I am as clean as the bleach solution that bleaches clothes.

Rule no. 5: Always make sure you are yourself throughout the party. This advice goes to those Muslims like me who goes clubbin just to find some experience of wad they call, Night Life. And really, if you are a person of pure principle, insteadof forcing yourse;fto be wild, or lose yourself, you make conclusions, inferrential facts, thinking statements, or shud i say, wise outlook of the whole clubbin' issue. That is exactly wad i did. At MOS that is. @ Rave, it was a total different thing (Astaghfirullah)

Rule no 6:Never judge a person there. The one rule of the thumb is to let yourself loose. And so, the person you are dancing with is really not his/herself.

Im sharing this outlook solely to give people the inside story. Really nt for fun, or shit ass things. Our parents use to say, "Don't go to these places,it would not do you good", or the cliche version "Tempat tu maksiat, rumah syaithan".

Seeing is believing. And i went there to clarify my doubts: Why do clubs pose a great risk to people. How does it shape our lives. What if it is not there,can we live w/o it. What attractions does it have that make people drain their pockets on vodka lime that they themselves know would make them sick, or even worse, drunk.

And Mr Hazlami would give his utter insides later. (He did not bring his personal journal with him at this cafe.So bear with him aite)

There is a qn i would like to pose here. If you notice the tagger who says, nvm, just try2 lar, who noes it will work(my version), let us think twice, and wear our rational caps on.

My name is Hazlami. I live in Bukit Panjang. I grew up in a moderately poor family of religious principles. My mum is a ustazah who teaches peopleto read the Holy Quran and fiqh. My father holds 'tasawuf' in his very heart, and he himself is a teacher in Dunearn Sec (to wrap it all up, he is like the Gandalf the White of LOTR plus Yoda of Star Wars, he can read your face and says, you never salawah [a prayer to praise the Messenger of God], or, you haven pray yet, and yes, he can read your mind as perfectly as he could, so no point lying to him, he would probably have known it a couple of days back when he dreams about you going out with a girl, or perhaps, sees the image in your beady eyes,sheesh). And i too practise the ways of the tasawuf, to instead of living the life, you conclude life. And i live in the worships of Allah and Rasul, and practise the syariah. So frankly speaking, im the type your mum would wanna match make with. And, im the type who adheres to the very meaning of 'feelings' every human being possess.

So my ans is simply, i have broken too many hearts, and i totally lost mine. Who would dare offer their hearts to me, to keep me beating for love? I would not want to break any more hearts. It is better to love God and His messenger,cuz for surethey would nt break mine. Im entirely looking for a women who can really reallymake me smile right now. who can willingly take care of me when i am sick.Who holds promises dearly at heart. Who would never double cross me, even if she hasdone that before. Who can at last, convince me that love is a beautiful butterfly, not a fire-breathing dragon. Who is patient and help me wen im down in the dumps. who possess the ability to brighten my life with a single smile,or perhaps, words of love and encouragment. Who prays for our realtionship to last. Who is really serious, and would put her life to keep it going. Who is willingly to commit herself to me.

Cuz for sure, i wud do the same, if she gives her heart to me. Cuz frankly speaking, im hollow right now.Zero. Empty. Numb is a feeling i wud use to describe wad i feel.

It is happy to know that i have friends out there who cares for me, and would willingly offer a hand of friendship. and im really happy to have them, cuz they make me happy. But companionship? Why at 18 already do we assert ourselves to find companions, who in return, would not last. Now i believe wad Diana has to say.Love cannit last. Partially that is. Love is everlasting,only if you believe in it. And it takes both parties to put friendship, commitment, and care to make it forever. And i absolutely disagree to those excuses, saying that, "I want to end this relationship because i love you."

Stupid you people would remain. Ignorant shall you suffer. How can you love someone so much you want him to end a beautiful memorable picture if u and him. Ape, erm, alasan like "I want you to be happy,and this is the only way."

Damned. Does it bring happiness to them? They can move on, yes they can.But forget? Surely you peoplemust realise how hurtful it is. Oh, it is only short term pain. Rubbish. Pain tetap pain.Sakit will always be sakit. You would never embark on a journey of a lifetime just to end up throwing the person off the boat, hoping somehow he finds a better ship with better sails. Have you peopleever consider the person could have drown?

Think. God gives you brains to differentiate you from animals. Peoplewho do not think, sori to say, are like animals themselves. The least a dog could do was to show compassion at the death bed of his master. Not that im implying it totally to me,or wad i have experience. This topic goes to all across the board.

Never use that excuse ever again. Trust me, it'll haunt you to your death and hereafter even if you think you have forgotten.Hazlami never forgets, nor does he condemns. I forgive. And i share it to people so they would not suffer like me. Got chucked out of the 'attatched' club 3 times, and chuck people outta ma freaking closet 5 times. And till now, i condemn myself for breaking the heartsof 8 women and gurls. And really, it is not something i shud brag about. Serious.

Im ending my chapter by saying, "Never cheat, lie, or drink. If u must cheat, cheat cheaters. If u must lie, lie life. If you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breathe away."(kk, last part tu je cam citer The Hitch, yg lain, aku nyer hahaha)

PS: Thx tu Khairul Ruzaini for reading word by word posted here in this blog.I owe you a lifetime of support.

Rectifying the pro-active problem

Necessary actions need to be taken to contain my lust for broken, breaking or going-to-break relationships. To produce solutions, first and foremost the issue must be discussed.

Why, at the age of 18, do boys-to-men like me desire the company of women?

1. Women at this age and below or above have the natural attractiveness that would make any men inclined to have unsurpassed incontrolable relationships.

2. Men at this age would need a company so that he could go thru NS with ease (or other words, taking advantage lar)

3. Women simply ouplays men at dis age.

4. Women portray themselves as a medium for men like me as a shoulder to cry on.

But wadever the reason is, i noe FOR HELL SURE that i would NEVER SUCCEED in getting a SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP.

This is evident by my recent admissal from the 'attatched' club. And of course my other 2 rejections. And of course, nt to mention i rejected 5 ladies.

dat makes 8. 8 relationships that go off course. wtf?!

My bro use to say, wen the time comes, it'll come, but if u got hold of the moment, than catch it, if not, i'll fly away.

That means i slip 3 birds and ran away from 5 oncoming birds that kept pecking my chest, demanding the right of passage to my heart.


Tell u the truth, remember watching Kuch Kuch Hota Hai?

You can never forget your first love. My first love is, tkde lain tk bukan, Nur Aishah whom many might have known, especially my close frens. The thought of 'those days' (haha, nadiah, i still believe it's true) makes me excited and all flimsy. But the deeper you dwell in, the more pain u feel. But im the type who would delve deeper than anyone would think. And to think of it, she thought me the very basic lesson of life.

LOVE. And before that, all i know of that word was stewpig lomantic lovey dovey kissy wheezy thingy which gurls of that age love ta experience, but for me, its all bout me me me, and soccer that is.

Until i troud over the path that met me to her, i suddenly grew out of it. And till this very day, i shall always treasure that moment when my path met hers. It was erm, during lunch, first orientation day at AJC, where i was eating lunch with my malay frens after the Friday prayers. At that mo, she didnt saw me, but i saw her haha. Remembered how i was, so excited and happy, called up 3 frens spontaneously, brennan, kamarul and nadiah anak basiron.

Den blah blah blah. And it ended so hurtful and miserable i dun dare mention it ever. And till now, both me and her cudnt work out the end. I have alot of reasons to it, but as the hazlami, i was the one at fault. (thx to nadiah who told me how it feels like to be in her shoes).

Piar. It is a dangerous yet perfect word in disguise.

And to tell u the truth, i shall let it out right now. This very moment, Hazlami will tell u his deep dark secret that took him 2 years to say it out.

Treasure this moment, aish, for this is for u, only for u, not for noone, just u.




Here it goes.....





I shall stand on my promise, to put Aishah as my first and last woman i'll ever love. And even if there's someone else out there, i can only gif 70% of my soul and energy to that person. Reason?

Kuch Kuch hota hai. There is something in this world that is unexplainable.




Fuh, alhamdulillah, i have let it all out. I feel better now. Maybe. :/

a big laugh for the big loser

It is the end. Im opening a new chapter. I've finally accepted that im a loser in r/ships.
Boohoo.

I suck, period.

Im single right now. And its going to stay this way for my entire life.

Hasta Pronto.

my journey.

It seems my journey is prolonged. Im leaving soon. And comin back home seems a faraway dream. Nt sure when Im coming back. Bt it doesn't matter anyway. Its for my own gd.
At least.


I passed my flight interview. One more test to go and im off flying to my dreams. Literally.

Had a much short phone conversation wiv Hamizan, my twin bro. Hearing us bck together as b4 makes comin bck home a one way tic to england. Thx bro, for forgiving me. I shall treasure u lyk i treasure my family.

Speaking of which, Im starting to miss her.
Dreamt of her, n of cuz not to mention my past sweetheart. Dun undastand hw come both of dem are in the same scene, at the same time. I woke up feeling utterly confused.

My old fren once asked me, "Wad if ur past comes and wants to start afresh wiv u?"

My ans?

I mite tend to accept her.
But now, my ans is "I donno".


Ps: thx Nad, ur doing great there by helping me. I owe u lunch *wiv mimi also la.. haha* N yes, im doing fine.

*N to You, wen u close my eyes, i saw u. Wen i open my eyes, i miss u. So, i prefer closing my eyes.


words of wisdom, courage, honour, prestige nvr goes out of style - Mindef.

Hasta Pronto.

Hazlami unleashed. Period

Prom nite was the best day of my life. period.

Enjoyed the whole program. Enjoyed looking smart and handsome. Enjoyed taking pics with beautiful ladies (ahem) and smart gentlemens..

And the after party was the highlight.

My first ever visit ti clubs.@ rave.

I went clubbin with my mates. The atmosphere was hot and heavy, the music superb. The peeps was rawking the house down.

When the pics are ready, i shall put it on my blog.

I wore this kind of 'Hitch' style and da, a fair bit of my own. Wanna say to all, hey, u guys look great!! Had a make-up done by my mummy.

Den went there and blah blah blah. Wad strike my head was this particular person who lookes astonishingly exquisite, with all the beauty i've never seen in my life.

And the person still hasn't left my brain entirely. Somehow,i think i hv a crush on her.But, she's chinese, im a bugis, how say? i dun mind lah, but some ppl mind the skin colour u c.Haiz. Untill now, still cannt get her of ma mind. The way she move, she talk, she puts herself forward, such beauty. Such life. She grooved her way thru my soul.

And the magic?

My heart started beating. It started to beat. It has been a long year.And my heart woke up from slumber.

It was a miracle. I nearly criedwhile i danced. But i kept my composure.

Anyways, it feels great to blog again. haha.got a lot of stories to tell.

Tmr, got RSAF interview. Fri, going overseas. Haish.

Overseas. nvr had the intention to go. the treatments, the boredom, wad else?

Haish. And i dun think i'll be cumin back early. It depends u c.




Heard from a fren of mine, there's someone who asked about me.Gosh. I thot u forgot me. Well, i cudnt forget u, but like i said, i did an assumption that u wud forget me. Thx for the thought anyway. Haish.

Nvm bout that, hmm, wad shud i write?oh yes, i wrote LOTS of sajaks this past few weeks, wud post them as soon as possible. Look out for my name in the news yeah?

Anyways, about prom, i think u shud be the prom queen, really, that gurl doesnt deserve it.

PS: You're beautiful. Shud have say dis to ya dat nite.

*You woke up my heart. It beats for you. It breathes your name. It loves you. Time will tell.*

Shall blog again tmr..