Im back

Heya guys. Lost touch now eh. Don't blame me, blame the government. I don't mean for it to turn out this way.

Anyways, it feels good to type again, after months and months in the jungle. Through tough and trim, i manage to outlast and outplay to be a survivor.

Of the Mandai Jungle haha.

Goodness, NS is a shock for me. I didn't expect anything, lest the outcome of the whole 2 years of NS would deprive me of my sleep, culture, habit, and not to mention, CIVILISATION!!!

And NS tore me apart. I broke up 2 times!! 2 times!!! Sheesh, im bad.

Im not sure where to begin with. Hmm. But what i know, im going off to overseas dis sat, 2 dec. Not coming back for a long long time.

Ns provided me with the platform to build my confidence in myself and in people (not to mention being the fittest in the company, with SOC (standard obstacle course) timing of 7.56s, and 2.4km run of 8.30s! I felt like i was blasting through the air when i ran. Thanks to the army, im fit, healthy, string and handsome haha.

I also provided me with a list of good friends. I remembered a time in the jungle, we had 2 more hours to go, the trench was 3/4 deep, and i was sick due to an overdose of Sampoerna cigarettes (yeah, i picked up smoking here, but rest assured, i only smoke in the jungle, and maybe when im anxious haha).

I pleaded like a dog. "Din.. Manoor, tolong, aku sakit.. Maricar dah down. Aku dah down. Takde org nak continue. Tolong din.."

With a whipped of tartan, Mannor Khan, 48kg, brushed in like a fierce hunter, picked up the cangkul, lighted a cigarette, and said. "AKu ade, aku ade. Jap jap. Kasi aku 1 jam."

When i woke up, it was all done. Swee lah! Uplah!

They are the bestest of friends. To measure a friend, is when they are at the shag point, where everbody is tired to the max, they are the ones who will give the extra hand. And for that, i told them when we PO, "Eh, korang jgn lupa aku tau. Korang kawan baik aku."

NS opened up to me the art of appreciation. Whenever i come home, i hugged my mum. I don't know why, but i felt happy whenever i do so. I missed her, really. And whenever i step into the house, i smile. I tell myself, hey, im home, im safe.

Though there were a few bad ones. In bmt, i broke up with my chinese gf. Then in sispec, i broke up with my childhood friend. Great. Utterly great.

Reason?

The chinese one gave me loads of problems. In the end, i ditched her. Takleh angkatlah. I was increasingly becoming a signaller you know. Every hour must msg her. Tell her where i am. Of course im in tekong what. Maner ade pompuan kat situ sak? Makcik kantin aderlah. Abeh kalau jumpe, tknk kasi org balik rumah. She got the heart to make me choose, her or NS, or family. I chose the ditching. Stupid witch.

Yg lagi stau tu aku tknk sharelah. tmkh for the understanding yer.


My good friend Luqman got intro me this gurl from TP. Integrated Program dok. Umur muda dah pandai nk mampos tak cam aku. Her name is Syakira.

How to describe eh? She very white lar, pretty and sweet. My taste what. Fair and sweet. But i not sure lah. We haven met yet. And she is the type reply msg lambat nak mati. Smapai dah tido seh org. (Luqman ade warn aku pasal ni)

Not that i want to eat her up or what lar, but what i think is that she is scared of me. Haha, you know my first msg to her was the MOST LAMEST piece of crap i've evr typed. All thanks to Manoor Khan. Tulah aku nk msg korang kacau.
Gtg. blog later.

Post blues: I don't have a clue to my woe..

At last I was able to let it go. Macam si Suhaimi Yusoff cakap, the package has been drop, the matrix has been reloaded. I guess you guys don't have a clue do ya. Well, let me xplain.

Do you guys know or remember a picture I once mentioned, the one i sketched, and it took alot of work to complete that, like its one of the natural wonders of the world?

Don't call me michelangelo, but its like, i sketched it from my heart you see. Now every nook and cranny, every eyelid, every hair flowing from the inner root to the outer rim, its all in my mind. I can picture it as clear as the watery blue.

Now i gave it to her. Back. It doesn't belong to me, you see. As a birthday gift. Well, perhaps to her its just a pic of sorts. But to me, its more to it. It contains the very essence of the elements she taught me, or in fact, introduced it to me. It was love. And i put every element and essence of that into that picture. I used to just stare blankly at those beady eyes, and like just flow my life into that picture, in hopes of making it alive. Like pinocchio u c. But regardless of what i do, it'll just smile back blankly at my pitiful face, unknown, unexplored. I hence i knew what i must do. It doesn't belong to me. It has to go back to its owner.

And i gave it back. Last saturday. There was this mixture of guilt, relief, sympathy, sadness, and i must say, happiness. A feeling that i can't exactly pinpoint the right mixture of ingredients. I just smiled and laughed it all off, that's me ryt. But deep inside i knew, i have to let it go. Let it all go. And hold on to the very sweet memories that made me the man i would become to be.

So know, tonight, i shall work hard, i type out the sweet most virtue and innocent love of Muhd. Hazlami. His love life. His very first, that made him what he is right now. I shall not hesitate to type it out, nor reluctant to leave any single info about how it all started. I believe it is a must for me to share my love with the people, woth the crowd, with the world, in hopes that one day, i will be loved as how i have loved before.

For God, Muhammad, and the Muslims all across the nation, i give you, my life biography.

And i do this with reasons. Not to hurt anyone, but with a simple reason to tell.

Every human being needs love. It differentiates us from others. Love, iman, taqwa, morality, everything plays a part in this life. Success is not about academic performances, or how much money you make, but more of how much life you take. How much life you take before you leave to the next, where it is forever.

I give you, my love, my story, my life, and my heart. And to do this, i shall share it all out. Not the bad ones, for I think i have suffer a particular memory lost bout that. Haha. All the good ones, yes. All the good ones. And i hope you would understand, and hope that one day, we shall all be happy.

Shocking News: WHO IS SITI'S LOVER?!?!?!

I was shocked. Shit. Really. This morning i started the day by reading the local newspaper Berita Harian. Guess what??

To all siti nurhaliza's fans, i must say that it really sucks to see Siti happily opens up her love life to the press, depriving you and me from the chance of a lifetime to be her love (chey, mcm bleh dapat gitu, mamak bawah block jual aiscream tk bleh ngurat, ini pula siti? haha).

I must say, who the hell is Datuk K?!?! His picture in the news horrifies me. As in, come on man, siti is like THE woman off all time, and that guy in the pic has a moustache??!

Although it is true that i must be happy for her, WHAT THE HELL!!!

SHE SHOULD BE MINE!!!

PS: Im not a psycho, just disappointed that her love is some MY guy. Previous experience taught me never to mix MY people, pasal dorang tu cam cetek ah in terms of pemikiran.

Ade ituari yg gua pegi MY, aku berkenalan ngan budak MY ni. Baru jugak aku dah malas nak layan die. Dah lah tipu aku umur die, (umur die 16 tahun ni, muda nk mampos, mane interesting beb) die punyerlah immature. Abestos, aku kene maki hamun (specific: aku disuruh bogel oleh kakak die) pasal aku dah tk layan die. Ko imagine bill yg aku kene bayor. Mcm taik kan.

Oh, aku dah tk sedih sgt pasal result aku, psl aku dah berserah pd Tuhan. Sometimes, Tuhan atur hidop aku, such that mungkin die kasi aku gagal untuk kali ini agar aku diberi kekuatan untuk ujian2 yg akan datang. Mungkin die tak kasi aku riak kalau aku dah dapat markah bagus. Atau die dah aturkan rezeki aku, maner tau aku dah besao panjang jadi businessman ke, marketing director ke, journalist ke, ahli politik ke. Tapi yg pasti, aku tiap2 hari berdoa dan bermohon dapat masuk bioengineering aku. Dan tak lupa jugak, kalau tak diberi, aku dapat yg lebih baik.

Oh, permohonan aku untuk defer NS atas sebab nak retake Alevel kene tolak, pasal result aku ok. Itulah dia, negara Singapuraku yg tersyg (blardie hell). Mcm aku nak larikan diri dari NS gitu. Nilah NS, menyusahkan langsung. Psl tulah aku nak migrate dari tempat lahabao ni, hohoho. Tapi takpe, aku ade Pilot Medical Check Up soon, you guys doakan aku lah ye, bukan aku nak riak (nausubillah minzalik), tapi aku betul2 harap dapat masuk RSAF. Doakan ye, sesama Islam lah k? Maner tau aku dpt harumkan nama Islam. Insya'allah.

Faith is the heart of all desires

The prophet once said, "When God loves someone, He would test him. If he/she stood patient, then he/she would be chosen. And if he/she redha, then God make him/her among the chosen"

Faith is among the things I once stood upon during my earlier days as a teenager. Faith brought me to great friends whom by far puts upmost concern overmy well-being. Faith broughtme closer to God, where He taught me things like redha, like patience, dreams, goals, hopes and plights of the weak. I remained a low profilic species upon this earth, untouched,unsowed, and was let ripe under the bright sun. Faith taught me about love, to God and the Prophet (pbuh), and to my family.

Then came my JC years. Unfortunate to say, i gain a few knuts butlost a bag of galleons. I was totally lost. The previous victory in my OLevels taught me nothing but pride and happiness.

I did not work hard enough. I lost for the first time in my life. I let down my family and friends for the first time in my life. Although my results where considered ok, it wasn't what i hoped for.

Yesterday, upon reaching my crib, i sat down on the prayer mat and cried. I didn't whisper to God, instead, i spoke to him aloud in space and unknown time. I told him, why was i lost God? Is this your test to me? So that i can grow stronger than this,and be the best, not just the best, but the top student in my future endeavours? That was my dream back then,remember? I whispered to you, in the your very house, to make me smart and clever so that i can be the khalifah of the earth, so that i can be among the ulama' of islam, like Imam Nawawi, or Imam Syafi'e. is this oneof the paths i have togo through? Im sad, oh God. Im very disappointed with myself.

A request was made that fateful day.

"Oh mighty God, make this day an unforgettable day forme, so that i can use itto fuel myself forward, and show the whole world what Hazlami is capable of, and guide me along the way, protect me from riak and takabur, so that i can follow the path bestowed by the your beloved messenger. Make me among those who serve you with ikhlas, and jihad with knowledge and wealth. So that i can bring my family to a place of happiness. So that i can bring up the name of Islam, and show the world what a muslim can do."

Im still sad though. Admission date lingers nearer than i have expected it to be. Hopes of being the yop notch in the bioengineering sector diminishesbefore my eyes.

I plead to those who See what i See,who Feel what i Feel, pray for me.

PS: I'll show those buggers who bragged about their results. So what if you got your A's. I'll show you whose gonna earn more, and i'll assure you, i fall, i'll get up with a bang, and i shall learn not to fall again. I'll beat you. I promise. Not hatred. But pure competition.

Get your engines going, cause im all fired up for another round. Once im in my faculty (insyaalah) i show you guys what does it mean to be Hazlami.

Hasta Pronto.

(sori guys for not updating, been working on a book im writing,its called: AD-DIN, THE WAY TO GOD, perhaps once i get it done,i'll extract some of the contents for you guys to read. Its all about learning who you really are,and who that creates you, and the connections of all living life, a path of tasawuf and sufism.)