-Songs Playing In My Head-
Im not okay, My Chemical Romance
Got my marksmen. (at last)
Haha, easy money, now with 200 bux in my savings, plus my pay, and handsomely indeed, some ppl still owe me like a few hundreds..
When I ORD i think I have quite some money haha!
I wanna work! I signed up with my dad selling this '4LIFE' product regarding transfer factor pills. This lil enzymes are responsible for the body knowing which foreign cells or molecules like viruses or cancer cells amongst the many other healthy cells, and impart this knowledge to the body system.
Did you know that drugs only either stimulate the body's internal defense system or reduce symptoms, but ultimately, it is the body defense system that is responsible for the cure?
Hence, the source of cure for any diseases or complication actually comes from the body itself. And this breakthrough has the answers to that.
I'll elaborate it more once Im free.
Anyways, i was hoping to find an 8-5 job, office job ard 6 per hour. And some extra payment for off duties. My brother got lobang- somewhere in singtel as data entry. Relax jack, can even listen to music while working. After that can go out cuz its at dhoby ghaut, near town!! Whee!
Haha, life is gonna be hell great after ORD. Though im gonna miss the folks back at 4SIR (except 'him').
2 more weeks and im off to lala land...
And he looks up to the sky, eyes emblazoned with the tiger in him. No fear. No pain. Never surrender. He tucks in his legs, pulling his hands to his chest, focusing on a happy moment, before he flungs himself high towards the sky, eyes fixed to the moon...
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Saturday, January 12, 2008
System gone wrong in the Home of The Apache
-Song Listening-
I DON'T LOVE YOU- MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE
Yesterday a disaster unfolds yet again, adding to the spate of horrendous moments that begins to take a toll on me. Poor Hazlami broke down in front of the abandoned 622 building, once a stronghold for the many reservists that came for their NS cycle.
Yet again I try to endure it, but this time the trust and pride got hurt too much.
When I graduated from SISPEC, wearing that chevron on my arms, with the green beret, knowing my posting to a capable operational unit (rather than slack incompetant tekong or 2PDF) called 4SIR, having taken the Specialist Creed with pride whilst the many voices that echoed that momentous day singing unitedly uncalled unchallenged by the road ahead, I surge forward, knowing that the responsibility that was bestowed upon me to take charge of REAL MEN of 6 in a section is going to be a tremendous job to do. I strive hard, without fail.
I, am a specialist of the Singapore Armed Forces.
-born a specialist, always a specialist.
With pride I lead.
-seriously, without pride a specialist cannot lead the men. Only with pride, knowing that no matter how superb your men are, im always one step ahead. And that's why when a fellow soldier of higher ranking doesn't like you, just because you aren't able to please him the way you always does (like you do your job very well when he gives you orders), all he needs to do to put you down is to take the pride away from you. Alot of specialist, when getting into such situation, they become like a men themselves. Easy. Just treat you like a men. Then just have no trust. Done. But no matter how hard 'he' tries, he cannot take this pride away. Wanna noe why? Keep reading.
I, excel in my field, ensure the discipline of my men, and their mission readiness.
-in order to have pride, you need to excel both in the field, and the disciplinary act on your men. In the army, the word 'ENSURE' can be a killer. the famous common word frequently used against us fellow specialist are, 'i assume, you assume, then who ensure?'. As a ground commander, we deal with ground orders, ground control. Planning is still part of our deal, though most of it comes from the officers, but sometimes their planning too cock up, cos the thing that differentiate us and them, is that we understand the men more than them. Thats a fact.
We are considered 'the facilitators' on the ground, making sure the duty is done. They plan, we act. That's it. So mobility is important to determine the facilitating factor in accordance to acting the orders on the field. I was taken away from my great use of mobility due to unforseen circumstances. However, being excellant in the field before, and yet ensuring the discipline of my men, im still able to put a struggle for my pride as a ground commander.
For example, during duty in Jurong Island, i never got a SINGLE extra. In fact, the last extra that I got was from taiwan, which was like, 9mths ago. Other commanders in my platoon get extra like water. Me on the other hand, I was firm. I told them my expectation before going for duty. Like how the LBV and weapon cannot take off, when resting the LBV weapon must be within 0.5m away from them and etc. Time to patrol, you go. Time for sentry, better not sleep. If sleepy, I be the one either take over them, or i wake up and talk with them so that they wun fall asleep. I put absolute zero percent on myself, and 100 for my men. When Fahmi got into alot of trouble smuggling cigarette, and yet got caught smoking in the tower while I was out for duty, I kept him alive. I fought his case, and all he got was 10 days in detention barrack. When Faiezad got injured, and he was confine for not participating in any training in the week, although he still help around in the admin sector, I promised him he will not be confine. If he follow me to do admin work, he will not be confine. So when 'he' confined my 2IC, i argued with him and OC and the outcome? "I confine myself, Faiezad will book out." That was my call. And there I was, sitting alone on the steps of my coyline, looking at him happy, appreciative, and stress free while he walked towards the gate.
More sacrifices n more i made for my men. Cover them, buy them food and have a small section 'makan' session in their bunk, etc.
Which 3rd Sgt in the battalion has ever pump a company before? I did. When they were late for breakfast, and I was the COS. I did more than others did.
Everything that was out of a section commander job scope, I did it before. I was the temporary MP for RSM when they did investigation of the missing round. I escort so many soldiers to DB. I was a liason personnel during the exercise with the Malaysians, picking up FIBUA equipment from 3SIR and had to talk with many CPTs and MAJs regarding such high tech equipment, then I was among the 3 SME for TES equipment, helping to zero hundreds of Malaysian's weapons, teaching them, translator for 'him' when 'he' was conducting a TES course, and I was translating all of it in Malay as best as I could. I was emcee during the ORD Parade of first year commanders. I made a battalion worth black box for night indication in less than 3 days. And more. Alot more. And now, all of it was lost just because of a personnel vendetta against me. How professional 'he' can be eh.
I, overcome adversity with my fighting spirit.
- I must admit, alot of specs have this. The extra gees. Ability to stand tall when all are tired. Pushing the men, but at heart, pushing yourself, but never yield. Even though i was injured, i went for the gruesome 15km tactical night walk, bashing and walking and climbing and sliding, with the pain and strain that made me chew 4 tablets of panadol in less than 6 hrs. Rabak, but still i complete it. And im proud to say, i NEVER fall out of any training before in my NS life. Never.
I, will defend Singapore, with my life.
-Im adamant about this. Alot of NSmen do not want to go to war. Even if they must, its not cause of the country, its for their families and friends. This is what is lacking in the younger generation- patriotism. The spirit to fight for the country. Its totally different if you say you have made Singapore home, and you will defend this country. They made it home cause the many good things that is here for us. But defending it? As a ground ppl, I don't think so. Which explains the level of commitment between regulars and NSF see.
The system went all wrong. And all that I did was lost all because of a single vendetta that I, and many others, think its very unprofessional. This company has lost yet again another loyal soldier. This company has yet again prove to the world that it doesn't have a 'HEART'. They have lost.
Me.
A quote from the mural boards of 'THE WALL OF PRIDE- APACHE', by CPL HAFIZ, PLATOON 1 SECT 2, 2IC.
"The system is dead. But the mind is still alive."
Think deep, gentleman.
Think.
And as I soar the Great Wind sweep me of my feet. Leaving me unbalanced, unchecked. I was lost. And a glimpse of the Old Stars lay before me.
Oh God, give me the guiding path and let the stars shine on.
I DON'T LOVE YOU- MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE
Yesterday a disaster unfolds yet again, adding to the spate of horrendous moments that begins to take a toll on me. Poor Hazlami broke down in front of the abandoned 622 building, once a stronghold for the many reservists that came for their NS cycle.
Yet again I try to endure it, but this time the trust and pride got hurt too much.
When I graduated from SISPEC, wearing that chevron on my arms, with the green beret, knowing my posting to a capable operational unit (rather than slack incompetant tekong or 2PDF) called 4SIR, having taken the Specialist Creed with pride whilst the many voices that echoed that momentous day singing unitedly uncalled unchallenged by the road ahead, I surge forward, knowing that the responsibility that was bestowed upon me to take charge of REAL MEN of 6 in a section is going to be a tremendous job to do. I strive hard, without fail.
I, am a specialist of the Singapore Armed Forces.
-born a specialist, always a specialist.
With pride I lead.
-seriously, without pride a specialist cannot lead the men. Only with pride, knowing that no matter how superb your men are, im always one step ahead. And that's why when a fellow soldier of higher ranking doesn't like you, just because you aren't able to please him the way you always does (like you do your job very well when he gives you orders), all he needs to do to put you down is to take the pride away from you. Alot of specialist, when getting into such situation, they become like a men themselves. Easy. Just treat you like a men. Then just have no trust. Done. But no matter how hard 'he' tries, he cannot take this pride away. Wanna noe why? Keep reading.
I, excel in my field, ensure the discipline of my men, and their mission readiness.
-in order to have pride, you need to excel both in the field, and the disciplinary act on your men. In the army, the word 'ENSURE' can be a killer. the famous common word frequently used against us fellow specialist are, 'i assume, you assume, then who ensure?'. As a ground commander, we deal with ground orders, ground control. Planning is still part of our deal, though most of it comes from the officers, but sometimes their planning too cock up, cos the thing that differentiate us and them, is that we understand the men more than them. Thats a fact.
We are considered 'the facilitators' on the ground, making sure the duty is done. They plan, we act. That's it. So mobility is important to determine the facilitating factor in accordance to acting the orders on the field. I was taken away from my great use of mobility due to unforseen circumstances. However, being excellant in the field before, and yet ensuring the discipline of my men, im still able to put a struggle for my pride as a ground commander.
For example, during duty in Jurong Island, i never got a SINGLE extra. In fact, the last extra that I got was from taiwan, which was like, 9mths ago. Other commanders in my platoon get extra like water. Me on the other hand, I was firm. I told them my expectation before going for duty. Like how the LBV and weapon cannot take off, when resting the LBV weapon must be within 0.5m away from them and etc. Time to patrol, you go. Time for sentry, better not sleep. If sleepy, I be the one either take over them, or i wake up and talk with them so that they wun fall asleep. I put absolute zero percent on myself, and 100 for my men. When Fahmi got into alot of trouble smuggling cigarette, and yet got caught smoking in the tower while I was out for duty, I kept him alive. I fought his case, and all he got was 10 days in detention barrack. When Faiezad got injured, and he was confine for not participating in any training in the week, although he still help around in the admin sector, I promised him he will not be confine. If he follow me to do admin work, he will not be confine. So when 'he' confined my 2IC, i argued with him and OC and the outcome? "I confine myself, Faiezad will book out." That was my call. And there I was, sitting alone on the steps of my coyline, looking at him happy, appreciative, and stress free while he walked towards the gate.
More sacrifices n more i made for my men. Cover them, buy them food and have a small section 'makan' session in their bunk, etc.
Which 3rd Sgt in the battalion has ever pump a company before? I did. When they were late for breakfast, and I was the COS. I did more than others did.
Everything that was out of a section commander job scope, I did it before. I was the temporary MP for RSM when they did investigation of the missing round. I escort so many soldiers to DB. I was a liason personnel during the exercise with the Malaysians, picking up FIBUA equipment from 3SIR and had to talk with many CPTs and MAJs regarding such high tech equipment, then I was among the 3 SME for TES equipment, helping to zero hundreds of Malaysian's weapons, teaching them, translator for 'him' when 'he' was conducting a TES course, and I was translating all of it in Malay as best as I could. I was emcee during the ORD Parade of first year commanders. I made a battalion worth black box for night indication in less than 3 days. And more. Alot more. And now, all of it was lost just because of a personnel vendetta against me. How professional 'he' can be eh.
I, overcome adversity with my fighting spirit.
- I must admit, alot of specs have this. The extra gees. Ability to stand tall when all are tired. Pushing the men, but at heart, pushing yourself, but never yield. Even though i was injured, i went for the gruesome 15km tactical night walk, bashing and walking and climbing and sliding, with the pain and strain that made me chew 4 tablets of panadol in less than 6 hrs. Rabak, but still i complete it. And im proud to say, i NEVER fall out of any training before in my NS life. Never.
I, will defend Singapore, with my life.
-Im adamant about this. Alot of NSmen do not want to go to war. Even if they must, its not cause of the country, its for their families and friends. This is what is lacking in the younger generation- patriotism. The spirit to fight for the country. Its totally different if you say you have made Singapore home, and you will defend this country. They made it home cause the many good things that is here for us. But defending it? As a ground ppl, I don't think so. Which explains the level of commitment between regulars and NSF see.
The system went all wrong. And all that I did was lost all because of a single vendetta that I, and many others, think its very unprofessional. This company has lost yet again another loyal soldier. This company has yet again prove to the world that it doesn't have a 'HEART'. They have lost.
Me.
A quote from the mural boards of 'THE WALL OF PRIDE- APACHE', by CPL HAFIZ, PLATOON 1 SECT 2, 2IC.
"The system is dead. But the mind is still alive."
Think deep, gentleman.
Think.
And as I soar the Great Wind sweep me of my feet. Leaving me unbalanced, unchecked. I was lost. And a glimpse of the Old Stars lay before me.
Oh God, give me the guiding path and let the stars shine on.
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
Im just so so sad.
As though my heart broke a thousand pieces. I tried so hard, but nothing happen. :(
And all odds were against me. All that was in my mind, was her health.
My love is her health.
Im preparing to get myself hurt.
Terlarut aku
Dalam kesendirian
Saat aku menyadari
Tiada lagi dirimu kini
Sampai kapankah
Aku mampu bertahan
Tertatih aku jalani
Semua kisah hidupku ini
Tak akan terganti
Setaip kenangan yg telah terukir
Yang terendap indah dan melekat di hati
Akankah berakhir
Semua kisah yang telah tercipta
Di dalam benak ku, dan di dalam asaku..
Dan sayap rajawali tumpas menghadap perkasa langit
Bagai diludah
Terjunam hunjam ia terbalik pitau ia tercampak
Namun ia sayu memikir tantang dia...
As though my heart broke a thousand pieces. I tried so hard, but nothing happen. :(
And all odds were against me. All that was in my mind, was her health.
My love is her health.
Im preparing to get myself hurt.
Terlarut aku
Dalam kesendirian
Saat aku menyadari
Tiada lagi dirimu kini
Sampai kapankah
Aku mampu bertahan
Tertatih aku jalani
Semua kisah hidupku ini
Tak akan terganti
Setaip kenangan yg telah terukir
Yang terendap indah dan melekat di hati
Akankah berakhir
Semua kisah yang telah tercipta
Di dalam benak ku, dan di dalam asaku..
Dan sayap rajawali tumpas menghadap perkasa langit
Bagai diludah
Terjunam hunjam ia terbalik pitau ia tercampak
Namun ia sayu memikir tantang dia...
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