Bad news, im not going to NUS after all.

Wel I guess it was not meant to be. I have a plan dat would still bring me back from the dead.

Hope it works, and hope God gives me the blessing.

I swear it on my family's good name that I'll study hard and make them proud, get a scholarship so I wun burden them with the bills. Thou the journey is far, but I guess the passion to succeed in life will never die.

Like the snail which got itself squashed.

It got itself killed, yes.

But there will be many more snails that'll cross the road. And we will not stop until we reach the far bank.

A honours in business, couple with good awards and fine portfolio shud do the trick.

Life as a traveller, dats my destiny.

I typed my name in googles. And guess what?

There is so many people out there who link me up but I didn't know half of them.

Or maybe I knew. Know. Could have known.

Well, it was nice reading old posts dated way back till 2006, people blogging about me. I came across a particular abandoned blog, think it was nisa. Something about what I say to her during those days. Now I understand..

See? People don't dare to speak what they feel, and even so, they hide it. So what's the point of blogging anyways?

Write it on paper. Really. Online stuff are meant for sharing, not for privacy. Unless you put a password on it, but still, *arms stretching* it would be easy to hack in.

Thank you people, forgotten ones, I would remember you people from now on.

And im still pissed. And im not gonna say it here. I'll put it in my small black diary.

"When you're a fire, I became the water. But when I was the fire, you became a fire too. Now where's the water?"

Looks like I gotta take my ablutions frequently, get more splashes of water on my already boiling head.

"If one does not attach himself to people and desire, never shall his heart be broken. But then, does he ever truly live?" -Forbidden Kingdom

I watch this movie on Sunday. And as I made my way back home from teaching tuition, thinking about that quote, I came across a horrifying scene. A dead snail the size of a human palm sprawled silently on the steps in a mess of sorts- gore liquid and cracked shells.

I wonder what makes the snail deserve such tragedy. Is it cuz he is stupid enuf to try crossing the steps but fail to recognize the high chances of it getting step by some ignorant human? Or is it goes to show that when you try to reach something that is far, you have a high chance of getting yourself 'killed'- meaning that your passion dies off just like THAT!

Woa.. Strange..

So I was terribly disturbed by it, and with the quote hanging loose in my head, I was swimming in the dumps.

So I took a rest at the bench below my block and had a deep thought about it.

The question is, "..does he ever truly live?"

Desires are elements by nature. The desire to eat, to sleep. Its a way in which the brain reaches to the body to get the necessary elements to make it 'alive'.

And it is a norm to have such earthly attachments to earthly desires.

But the desire to have dreams, does a person 'live' if he unhatched himself from having goals and aspirations?

But what if he tries hard but in the process, he fails, and there ends the aspirations and dreams?

Does it kill you inside?

Still pondering.

With work and shit, it'll be much harder for me to think. Now.

Hate work. :D

Blast it!!

Yesterday was lovely. Really. And when I saw her putting her head on my shoulders in the glass reflection in the MRT, I was thinking dat perhaps the ending part wud be a very nice treat. Actually, its more ASSUMING rather den hoping- everything was flawless.

The fact that it was unplanned. That I saw Shasha at work where again, I assumed she wasn't working on Saturdays and not at level 3 either. She too was shocked- it took her exactly 8 secs for her to put her eyes away from mine. Maybe perhaps shocked at my hair - I cut my hair short see, and she never did saw the hazlami-short-hair-guy before haha.

It was a simple spike layered hair, kinda lyk my AJC-inspired chinese boys hairstyle. Still influenced by those days, I manage to fork out 10 bux to finally get my hair trim after breaking the alma-promise of not cutting my hair till Sept 25.

The good thing is I could concentrate on my work, apart from the occasional trips to the photocopier and then I took the chance to see her but no luck- her back is facing me, and she's like 12 metres away.

She did smiled at me before she left quietly. I was disappointed not to at least walk with her to the lift. Im trying my very best to keep up with girls-they are soo detailed. Open the door oso happy. Haha. Sheesh.

As I walked out the building with my peeps, I ranted a series of cosmos that was well received by Samir, and so, he called her to ask if she wud join us. From here we can infer that:

1) I didn't have the balls to call her or msg her myself
2) Im being a jerk by asking another guy friend to call her up
3) She went back from dhoby ghaut all the way to novena again just to join us eating KFC, which further amplifies my jerk-affied persona

But the least I could do is to draw her a chair.

The moment of magic came when we were walking at Paragorn to cross the road. Her hand slip to mine, and so we held hands.

Having the sweaty palms, I was nervous knowing that the pores in my palms would freak out and vomit a river nile. Amazingly, it was comforting. :)

And the best part? She animatedly said," eh dah pimpin tangan? *smile*"

She sat at macs waiting patiently, accompanying me. So in turn, I offered to sent her home.

She sacrificed her aftn, so I think it was the best of me to offer that deal. But the journey to Punggol is none I could imagine. It was painstakingly tiring.

And I assumed that it would be like, I reach Punggol, I grab her hand, look into her eyes and say 'take care' with a smile.

Wrong.

Samir offered me to pray at his house. Looking at my watch, I agreed without thinking twice. Then Samir, being a true joker but honestly entertaining and true, he blarted out something like, "eh shasha why never offer Haz to pray at your house?"

Shasha replied," Maner bleh nak mati ke? My dad at home tau."

Then dat was it, I felt something is about to unfold. You know, like you have a spider sense and you know exactly what is about to happen.

He replied,"How could your dad prevent a fellow muslim to make his religious obligations?"

I laughed as usual, thinking its just a joke, but Samir carried on, jokingly saying about fearing her dad would be struck by lightning or something.

As a guy, I was ok with it, cuz its just a joke, and im still gonna pray at Samir's house after all.

Hell, she just break off in front.

I was puzzled. Tried to pujuk her but to no avail.

She gave me a weak smile, more like a smirk, and left.

I msged, I called, but no answer.

Until today. And im still waiting.


I don't want to put the blame on anyone, im not that kind of person. But im sure glad to receive or come up with solutions.

I apologised so many times, but still no answer.

How???? Its driving me mad, I didn't sleep well, kept feeling guilty.

And I was just about to be swept off my feet. And carried away on a love bubble.

Haish. :(

If only she would pick up the phone.....

PS: this song is for you. *The Reason-Hoobastank*

Humans and their endless issues.

No wonder we were born to destroy.

I think we humans are broken up into a three-way basic line.

1) Conservative

2) Progressive

3) Unsure

Progressive people believes in destiny, pragmatism, and lives in a culture of competition, and as a result lacks the human spirit. Politics, power and corruption leaks, and thou the 'fish tank' looks beautiful with corals, and fishes and many mini landscape features, yet the real fishes are dead while plastic ones keep afloat, smiling back at the small children telling their mummy, "Look mum, the fish is gorgeous! Can I have one?"

Conservative people loves nature. They embrace the beauty of God, the human spirit, brotherhood, and integrity. The moral fabrication of the society is integrated, with love and religion, to bring balance in the world. Yet among the preached, they lie, and the use of rules and regulations hampered the foundation of liberation, focusing on the total absolutes, consequences etc. These people are very result-orientated, and in times of crisis, they see it as a window of opportunity to take advantage of the situation. They believe that humans too need control- the animated world they live in are monstrous and so vanity of thyself is far better than taking the stride and march forward.

The unsure society takes the two bunch, slap them up like a beef patty, and eat them. Liberalism and revolution is joyous, yet preserving the human spirit is necessary too. They keep themselves alive by believing in their heart, and be sure that the pipeline of information passed down from the heart goes through the brain for processing and filtering. Just in case. For no doubt, they are unsure. Very unsure.

And so you'd see the beauty of God. How He balances the population, and keep the system in check, whilst letting it grow and mature with His Knowledge. I must say, that without these three basic lines, the world would perish.

Actually, I take that word back. All destruction is certain of course. The fountain of youth is never a fact, its a myth. But deep inside, it lies in us.

When I see the trees, it whispers. When I hear the wind, it whistles. The language they are speaking is foreign and very few are masters of such fine ancient art. However, I think the discovery of such exquisite lies in our hearts. Think deep enough, close your eyes and feel the wind. And sure enough, it'll speak in your heart.

And I heard it when I was sitting outside level 5 IRAS, looking away to the sky. I hear the absolute. It was as though God was speaking to me.

The sudden realisation of how the system of universe work, from a single point of absolute power, to a whole dimension of hell and heaven, earth and sky, stars and galaxies. Venture through the darkness at night, and wonder yourself, how small are you, against the crushing sky that bears no pain when it comes tumbling down one day. So why do we humans keep telling ourselves that we are better? Is it because of competition? Survival instinct? Dog-eat-dog theory?

Well, what can I say, in every soul, lies hell and heaven, good deeds and bad deeds, emotions and knowledge, and all of this, come from that one single point that created the Big Bang. And from where did the energy come from?

Allah the Almighty.

A lyric written by a sufi-learner, also widely known by many, as Mahaguru Musik, M. Nasir.

Dalam aku
Ada dia
Dan dalam dia
Ada kita ada semua

Enjoy the song.

PS: Im having a hard time catching up with life, with so many things going on, and Im always busy with work, and by the time I look at the watch, I see something.

A countdown to my waking. Its like, looking at a cup and say, its half-empty, but i'd say, it's half-filled.

How lovely.

Ribut datang memperkosa
Sesak nyawa dalam jiwa
Bila roti kering
Jalan pulang
Yang kau fikirkan
Habis dilarikan
Habis dilarikan mergastua

Dalam kecewa
Dihimpit rasa
Lapar dan dahaga
Sajian susu ikan merah
Suara pengalaman
Mendamaikan
Tanji gelora yang sempat singgah

Kau hilang pertimbangan untuk pastikan
Apakah kau sedar atau dilamun khayalan

Dalam hutan
Ada taman
Dan dalam taman
Ada puterinya
Dalam baju
Ada cinta
Dan dalam cinta
Ada segala-galanya
Dalam awan
Ada hujan
Dan dalam hujan
Ada lautan
Dalam aku
Ada dia
Dan dalam dia
Ada kita ada semua

I would love to sit and listen to you talking and smiling, while I silently sip my coffee, looking into your eyes and imagine the world in it. :)

Oh wait, my good friend Samir did mention something.

"Kalau kau ada 2 choice, the first, pompuan pakai Tudong hot giler muka lawa macam Si Jolie tapi tak bleh pegang, dgn 2nd, pompuan hot giler tk pakai tudong bleh pegang tapi muke scrap macam sampah pat Jurong Island. Mana kau nak?"

My ans: I'd rather stay a bachelor. :D

Saturday, October 13, 2008. An excerpt taken by my old post.

Abang sayang.. Im sorry i cant celebrate Eid with you in Singapore.. I feel so alone here without you.. Im trying to be okae.. Im just so full of emotions now.. I miss you and love you sayang.. I know that you have done so much for me.. Praying in the middle of the night and reading the quran for me.. I love you so much sayang.. Though you can choose to live a life of your own, being with someone else who could be with you physically and yet we have stood strong for 7 months and insyallah more to come.. I cant express what im feeling for you.. If not for you abang, i think i wont be here anymore.. You gave me the strength and the will to carry on with life.. You have made my life complete.. God bless our love.. Abang, ampunkan ayang jikalau ada kesalahan andainya ayang tersinggung perasaan abang.. Sayang, send my regards to ur parents whom i haf regarded as my own, not forgetting abang hasanul, najiy and nasrun.. I love you and all..

I am saddened by this. Its her post. The last relics of a person so in love with me. And all I could do is look at it.

Went to visit an old friend sleeping in Pusara Abadi today.

I dun wish to comment what happen, but i guess like what ppl would say, without sincerity the things that we plan would not work out.

And what pissed me the most is when I saw a broken piece of Spiderman 3 dvd on his sleeping bed. He couldn't have like, wake up and play it on DVD ryt?! Kurafat habes, must be the non-muslim friends of the Isz.. He is a muslim, do respect his religion. Prayers is all he needs now.

It was a tough walk. He sleeps deep inside Pusara Abadi. We took a cab there, and had to seek empathy from others so that we could hitch hike out.

It was nice to see the old gang back, thou its a small group, but I have always been low profile. Syafiq in SOC, and Salihin working. In these times you really feel the brotherhood, and the appreciation of the friendship we shared for so many years.

I have always been the sensitive one. Thou I wun show it, but I'd just keep it all to myself. I was on my way to Boon Lay to meet them today, and in the bus I accidentally played Dian's music pieces. I was about to change them when I felt this sudden emptiness in me, and so I continued listening.

I still haven face the fact that Dian is gone. Isz is already sleeping. But Dian? I didn't even have the money to go and see her sleeping haven.

She must have been so beautiful when she sleeps. :(

Isz told me something before. He said once, that many didn't like him, and he asked me if I know why. I told him, that it doesn't matter, coz ryt now you do have friends who cares about you, thou its a small no, but still they do. And its ok if they talk bad about you or hate you. They will get what they deserve.

When he passed on, many came to see, some cried, some kept their silence, others having the empty face that showed nothing but guilt. The guilt when you talk bad about others. And now he is asleep, he wun be waking up, so im nt sure if he did forgave them.

He would have forgiven them, I know him. Kind at heart, childish in many ways. He loves spiderman, just like me. Always thought of how good Spiderman is, the fact that Peter Parker is already in a tight situation, and yet sacrificing himself and serving the public without hesitation. Cool guy.

"With great power comes great responsibility"

I only see great power comes great corruption, but still there are few individuals out there just like me who yearns to be heroes. Everybody needs a hero. Everybody can be a hero. Its the matter of how strong the feeling is, when you see a poor blind man selling tissue down the street. The ability to put yourself in people's shoes.

And so Im facing my demons. I shall play it on my blog, the beautiful pieces from Dian Farzanna, a true friend who loves me so much, till she die protecting that love.

I'll never ever forgive myself.

The guilt of not standing up for my loved ones when people are talking rubbish about them. How people criticize and talk bad about how Isz Sazli speaks in front of me, and I did nothing. Nothing, to protect.

I have failed.

And I shall never forgive myself.

I will be a great person one day. I will keep my dreams alive. I was born to help people. I must. And for all that is worth, I shall see people smiling and laughing and holding my hand shouting grace and happiness in appreciation of the small contribution I give that lifts up their spirits.
And I will do so, with Dian, and Isz in my heart. I know they are watching, smiling at me. I do so, for God, to help His creation, and salvage myself from this guilt that would stay on till I sleep too.

Everybody will sleep one day. Faiza ones told me that a wise clever person is a person who thinks about death. Chinese people would say, "choi!" (is that how you spell it?)

Life is more like a journey. Like we are all sailing, and we see an Island, and the ship harbors at the island. As we step foot onto the island, we realise the beauty of the island, with so many beautiful mangoes, apples, animals to eat, and many more. Some restock their supply. Others already plan to stay on the island enjoying the beauty of life there. Some take sufficient supply, and quickly board the ship to get good captain guest seats.

But then you hear the sound of trumpets and whistles indicating the ship will leave soon. Some hastened, picked up so many supplies, until they eventually have to sit at the back of the ship, having to contend with a 3rd class seat. Some would still stay, ignoring the ship, indulging the delights of the island could offer. Some stumble. Some waited until the next ship arrives.

Im still on the island. They left without me.

:(

PS: by the way, I did enjoyed myself dancing last night, esp the part where it was freelance, I danced with the mask on, and it was wonderful. The mask is my life. It hides the pain, well, to an extent that is.

Abang letak lagu dian di blog abang ok? Kita sebarkan cerita perjuangan kita pada orang, terserah mereka mahu percaya atau tidak. Yang penting, dian tetap dalam hati abang, sememangnya itulah lumrah. Abang tak akan hapuskan segala apa yang kita alami bersama, kerna abang rasa dianlah wanita yang terbaik untuk abang, selalu sabar menghadapi kesakitan sehingga dian meninggalkan mereka yang sangat menyayangi dian. Abang sentiasa menangis kalau teringat akan dian, bercucuran air mata abang menulis warkah ini. Namun abang tahu dian mendengar segalanya, kerna dian sekarang ada disisi Allah Azzawajala. Abang sedih keseorangan tanpa dian. Tiada yang menemani abang semasa abang pulang ke rumah. Tiada yg menemani abang semasa abang ingin lelap lena. Tiada lagi semua, hanya kesedihan yg dialami pabila abang mengingatkan kembali ketawa manis dan senyuman manja dian, dan juga pahitnya dian mengerang sakit, "Bie, sakit bie.. sakit.." Pahit rasanya mendengar dian mengerang sakit, abang tahan tangis agar abang menjadi orang yg tabah untuk dian dibelai. Hanya Allah saja yang tahu betapa sayangnya dan cinta abang pada dian, kamulah seorang insan yang selalu mendengar rintihan abang, walaupun sekecil2nya. Abang ingat lagi, semasa abang berduka, dian belikan abang macs breakfast, hotcakes with sausage meal, and ice milo, makanan paling digemari abang. Namun semuanya hanya menjadi memori. Tak akan terganti setiap kenangan yang telah terukir, yang terendap indah dan melekat di hati. Dian, abang akan sentiasa doakan agar kuburmu diluaskan dan ada cahya Nur agar ia tidak gelap disana. Dan kamu di golongkan dalam para syuhada berjihad di jalan Allah.

Sayangnya ia tidak berkekalan. Apa jua di dalam dunia ini tidak berkekalan. Di sana jua kekal abadi. Abang akan tetap mencari erti hidup, dan menyebarkan cinta dian, hati dian yang diberi kepadaku kepada dunia yang luas terbentang. Ada mereka yang mengalami kesusahan dan perlukan kasih sayang. Akanku taburkan cintamu ke alam ini.

Wsslm.

The highlight of this whole week is finally here!

Our crew is dancing again, thou it wud be at the same place at Tanjong Pagar, but wad the heck, cukup alhamdulillah seh.

After so much shit at work, finally I can let it all out later..

Meanwhile, I think I just created a new click in my social network. The IRAS peeps. Yesterday me, Imran and Taha went shopping, and at last for a year of saving up 10 bucks every mth, I finally get to buy this $139 dollars flick swatch watch! Haha! Lama seh simpan..

Its kinda fun going out with them, they have a different taste and perception towards the whole fashion thing, maybe we cud connect cz we are of the same age, went thru NS already, and are JCians hahaha.. So the level of intellect is totally different. My army peeps always talk about lepak, shisha , bowling, movie and stuff. But this bunch talks mainly about, hmm, specific stuff. We don't lepak all the time. They are very specific. If nak keluar shopping, dats the only thing that they will do. Has the pros and cons to it, im sure you guys are old enuf to weight it out.

So now on my shopping list is basically:

White leather shoes - $89
Light brown smart pants -$45
Shades - cheap ones
The nice red polo tee near That CD shop -$40
Berms -$35
The leather bag at Far East -$50

A near $300 bucks?! Goodness me.. Pelan2 kayuh ah.

I got so many moves adapted from YouTube to try out later.


Had breakfast with Azhari this morning. I think spending time with a close friend who is going to leave Singapore soon in July is important. You may never know what would happen see. Take Arwas Isz Sazli for eg. The last time I saw him was during BMT, dat was April 2006?! I should have spend more time with him.

The thing about life is that it can be predictable.. until something happens and multiple twist of fates would probably make you feel like a spinning top. No joke. Life is NEVER PREDICTABLE.

Its all about af'aal. We all have a Masterplan of our own. Though we are given a certain amount of power to determine our future, yet you can never run away from the certain destiny. People might say, then its not fair. Then who you are to blame the Almighty? He is after all, God right, who doesn't eat and sleep like Jesus do, He is All-Watching, All-Fair and Just. If He is perfect, that means what He determines is Just.

Take for example, the people who got killed in the twin towers, the 911. The relatives of the late can blame God. That it is unfair, they are innocent. Now who are we to judge the makings of the Lord, when He himself created the Sky and the very Earth that we live in? The Myanmar people are innocent too, not all of them thou, some do are sinned, but do you think they deserve this freak of nature? Surely its no. Nobody wants to suffer. Everybody wants to live a happy life. But everybody knows that, that is never gonna happen.

The fact remains, tawakal and actions are needed. You leave the house and leave everything to God, but make sure you wear shoes so that you wun find a piece of nail stuck on your bare feet.

Though it is predestined that you shud wear your shoes. If God wills it. If He doesnt, you still find a nail stuck in your foot. And it serves as a what people?

Lesson.

Slm.

LiL Tin Man says if he goes to clubbin, he would surely attract fabulous chix with his nice moves.. NOT!

PS: Hope you feel much better after the 2 hr phone talk where we keep diverting from the main topic which is your future. Mira, pls dun be fickle ok? Hahaha! And I tak tinggal tingkat 9 atau 11. Itu Maniam tinggal tingkat 9. Ching Chong Kung Fu tinggal tingkat 11, duh.

:D

Work is becoming more of a chore now since the large body of CPUs cover our faces, preventing social communication that use to drive me when I work.

So i msged my dad, and asked the old man for some advises.

"Pak, how do you focus on work w/o having emotional or personal stress that dwells in your mind?"

You noe what he ans??

A full 4 msg advise. I'd put it in point form.

• Mencari rezki adalah wajib dengan niat hidup dan matiku dari ALLAH SWT. Semata-mata bergantung pada Allah. Lumrah dalam hidup, kerja dan ibadah mesti ada gangguan, itulah tahap Allah menguji keimanan kita. Sehingga hamba yang mengenal Allah seperti af'aalnya dapat fokus pada setiap pekerjaan.
• Af'aal adalah perbuatan Allah seperti firmanNya, "Sesungguhnya aku mencipta kamu dan segala perbuatan kamu." Dalam keadaan ini hamba melihat kerajaan Allah lalu sentiasa berserah pada nasibnya pada Tuhannya.
• Tiada ia dapat seorang hamba sifat-sifat yang mulia melainkan dilimparkan Allah nur cahya di dalam hatinya, iaitu- Nur Iman, Nur Tauhid dan Nur Keyakinan. Maka dengan keyakinan itu melihatlah ia akan kerajaan Tuhannya maka mula berfungsilah sifat yang mulia.
• Sheikh Muhammad At-Tanusi mengatakan bahwa jika dibaca salawat Nariyah (Kamilah) 90 kali setiap hari maka Allah akan menghilangkan kedukaannya, dimurahkan rezki, dijauhkan berbagai penyakit dan senang beramal sehingga semua orang menaruh rasa senang kepadanya.

"Ya Allah, semoga Engkau mencurahkan rahmat yang sempurna dan keselamatan yang sempurna atas Nabi Muhammad s.a.w, yang menjadi sebab terlepasnya kerumitan dan hilangnya kesusahan, terpenuhinya segala hajat, dan tercapai segala yang disukai serta husnul-khatimah, dan turunnya hujan dari awan, berkat keagungan dan kemuliaan Nabi Muhammad s.a.w, dan kepada para keluarga dan para sahabatnya pada setiap mata melirik dan jiwa bernafas sejumlah setiap yang Engkau ketahui."

And so I took a deep breath, and went to pray, and hey presto, I was back in business bebeh!

The tired me.

Penat2 aku bawakkan shasha bubur and sup ikan, tapi dia tak datang plak. Sedih, at last aku yg makan hahaha!

Oh btw, I went out with this girl by the name of Shasha. Super fair skin tone, and nice pretty smile. She works at the email department, which im still not sure where haha. Our first date, to me ah, was special, cz it started with an ice-cream at Swensens. Im advised to type the details here, like Din say, you don't want to forget your first date, cz she will remember it, and one day she will ask you, and as a guy, you will definitely forget. True. Guys have such big egos that they kinda forget abt them haha!

Pick her up at B1 and saw her in this flowing white skirt and cream blouse. Aku suka skali cermin mata dia, purple black, macam kena ah dengan kulit putih dia haha. The first qn she asked me in the MRT otw to Somerset was, "Do you smoke?"

I answered truthfully, "No, i don't. Not anymore." :D

She hates smokers. Can see that through her antics- she keep fanning her nose whenever a smoker walk past haha.

And the moment we sat in Swensens, dekat Heeran, we start to get kecoh. So many things we talked and discussed. And I keep staring at her face. I dunno why, I dunno wad make me do that. Realli. She is definitely a good simple girl. Realli. Thats why wen she asked me today, whether im serious abt her, I said honestly, "Yes. I am." Macam betol je aku nih.

If you are reading this, I'd tell you something. NOBODY has ever disturb my ability to sleep nor eat. Its like, you eat because you eat, get it? And it was difficult to sleep. Keep tossing and turning. Keep seeing you and your mannerisms. Quite a chaotic scene I suppose.

Sembarang.

I was looking at the APM 2008 when I suddenly saw how absolutely gorgeous Maya Karin looked. Haha, and yeah, Im so into Meet Uncle Hussein band, the song they sang 'lalala kerjalah' dramatic habes haha! Power, original giler..

Furthermore, the song Ketahuan is getting abit irritating. Not to mention Ungu didnt win a single award, and look at how popular Kekasih Gelapku song is on the charts!

Taufik tried to do a backflip, and ended in some position I quite not understand, but den again, he deserve some credit coz he is multi-talented.

Bunga Citra Lestari is damn pretty, its just that I think her voice is nt strong enough to mathc her looks.

Oh well, going for my kelas tasawuf before rushing to some tuisyen and maybe meet Taufik and Azhari earlier before our movie premier, IRONMAN!!

WOH! Gerek!


Qn to post: What do you think of geeks and nerds? I mean, girl nerds? :D

on the lighter note

Im feeling quite refreshed after such a fine rest at home. The gym was the place to chill, with a couple of night escapades at my usual hangout @ Starbucks BPP, with buddy Azhari. It was chill. Usually after some press-ups at the gym, I'd go swimming for like 30 mins before hitting back home to help mummy. It has been awhile since I've help her out with the daily chores. She eventually said it, "Macam dulu eh, mama dengan ami aje."

Yup, after I ord, time was spent at home. All the way. Its always me doing the laundry, sweeping the floor while my mum washing the dishes, and she will talk crap with me abt so many things. Indeed, this fine mid 40 women is full of life. And since she is the only woman in my life holding the primary role influencing me, I tend to judge women with respect to my mum. Oh come off it, my house is pack with obnoxious boys. Hahaha.

I always wanted to watch my idols, Harold and Kumar. Azhari say I got bad taste in liking. That's crap dude. They are like, super awesome ah. Living life without regret. They take life for what it is.

And hear me out, Im gonna go Holland to smoke dope. Whose with me??! Hahahahaha..

Thru the 3 days, I made a few observations that I find relevant in this post.

1) Old people aren't smelly, they just aren't conscious of their looks. They are like us too. I mean, the young. If we dun wear perfume or deodorant we smell the same as them, or not, even worst!

2) The Singapore public is yet to mature, seeing so many things are happening around the globe and all I can see in this country is quietly obedient pets. Darn.

3) Minahs usually have good taste in fashion, but the mats do not.

4) I find woman with this certain hair do have a great amount of flair and loads of wow factor.I don't know wad its called, but certainly it took my breathe away. Seeing that girl with this hair on that 190 bus, but the colour is brown, not this brown, but brown brown.

5) Ppl can advise you and give so much, but still its up to you to make the choice and be decisive abt it.

6) Today is abit humid and hot, but it certainly reminded me of Taiwan. Outstandingly beautiful, it made me smile throughout the journey to my students crib.

7) The perception on Nursing in Spore is sucky. How I wish I could break those negative connotations on such an honourable job.

8) Ironman is still not as cool as other heroes. This is because he uses technology. Wad you watch is all fake. What if there is a brewed virus inside the system. Would it be dangerous that he could not control himself and keeps shooting missiles everywhere?

9) Stress can put everyone including me into jeopardy. It turns us into monsters. Undeniably true, we can even turn against the ppl we love, just because we got so stress up.

10) I am underpaid in IRAS.

11) Hip hop has so many branches. Thou its good to expose urself to alot of its mainstream, it its better if you stick to the ones that make you feel more comfortable.

12) Humans are entirely dependant on each other, its just that ego is the mask that covers that particular character. The perception on such sensitivity is sometimes viewed as weak and pathetic. But others do view it as a sign of humanity.

13) I was born to do great things in life. Not just life, but the world. Magus Hazlami - the greatest Hazlami in the world. I always know it, that I was made in this world for a reason. Perhaps inventing something or researching on something that provides solutions to the world, to make the world a better place for you and me. It is a wild dream to receive some United Nation prize, or perhaps, a Nobel? :D Giler..

14) A particular woman of my interest do subdue me to an extend. Im certainly not sure what she is thinking, she is mysteriously negated in the way she thinks. Usually you would know, after alot of experiences, how a woman would feel for you. But still, deep inside, I know a bit, but dun think she would let me. Haha. Jual mahal kot..

15) I found a perfect spot to star gaze, the perfect spot in Spore, maybe I should rewrite it as, almost perfect:) I would keep this place a secret. Surely my future-to-be wife would be astounded by this place, for I feel this would be the very place to propose, or maybe, to just count the stars. But be sure to check the weather forecast!

16) I am not sure abt the habit of mine to see guys bods, im really sure that I am straight, but admiring them is not gay right? Is it normal? :l

17) Rock paper and scissors. Ok, here is the deal. Rock can surely break scissors. But paper killing rock? All paper does is wrapping the rock, but not defeating rock ryt? And scissors can cut paper, but there is this thing called recycle ryt? So wads the point? Haha!

18) Good parents give the basics and freedom to the child. But excellent parents worry when their child comes back home late, and they still scold you even though your old enough. Its never a qn of trust- many would use that to counter their arguments. It is true to a certain extend. But still, put your shoes in the parent's position. How can you be an excellent parent if you just blindly trust your child coming back home late like 3am in the morning hoping that you won't do anything stupid but you are doing something stupid but due to trust the parent went limp and mute. That's why I still prefer my mum and dad nagging at me for coming back home as late as 11pm. That shows they super duper love me and they would never want me to be hurt or do anything stupid outside, even though Im coming 21 this Sept. It shows that my parents are soo cool, they love me to bits!! Unlike some ppl who brags abt how they can go back home late, and their parents give them the ultimate freedom. Goes to show your parents don't give a f*ck about u hahaha!

"Biarla, ape ni yg awak mengomel? Kan dia dah besar.."

Such quotes shows how irresponsible a parent is to their child. So don't go around blaming western culture. Blame the simplicity in the family unit- parents. Child delinquencies are primarily due to parents not caring much for their child.

So when I hear ppl bragging again, like, "Wtf, ko masih ade curfew? Ko kan dah besar?", I'll be smiling the whole way, thinking that its basically a curse in disguise. Get over it. Be more mature pls? :D
Now dun get emotional, all im saying is that for those who receives curfew, dun be too upset abt it. Embrace it. And for those who receives calls from parents ard 11-11.30pm, thats still shows ur parents are excellent creatures who took the liberty to call you cause they care. What im saying is to those who never had any curfews, and never receive any calls, all they say is, "mum im going to be late today."


Thats about it. Im starting to move on. Had ice-cream just now. Yum. Not to mention the ben and jerry's free ice-cream day. I queued up again and again. Delicious temptation. :)

Enjoy the hols. (tmr working Hazlami, duh!) But still, wouldn't it be nice to work again and irritate Rasyida and talk crap with Suhaila, and disturb my best buddy Carmeni (btw she is a she not a he) and keep teasing Taha and Sameer on their oh-so-publicized-kissing-act, and go for minz (short form for minum) in the morn with Wanpee and Sameer talking abt crap, while listening to Sameer horny guilty pleasures.

He do surprise me sometimes. Nice cool guy.

Oh wait, he asked me this question I think Its suitable for me to share it in public. (hope you girls dun mind the crap of men)

"Kalau aku kasi kau 2 choices. 1) pompuan yg alim, baik, mulia, akhlak best, tapi muker scrap macam bawah kasot aku, atau 2) pompuan lawa nak mampos, hot sexy giler, wild, tapi dia suka ko to the max. Mana kau pilih."

My ans. Hmm..

Tricky.. You guess. :)

-lil tin man (dats my new hip hop name. Haha weird.)