Im loving angels instead..

Robbie Williams song ANGELS blew me off the hook today..

Got so emo you know, muahahaha..

But yeah, still haven recover from PMS season, so ya, you'll be seeing lotsa shit this few days. But i hope i recover soon.

MEDIC!!!!! MEDIC!!!!!! IM DYING!!!!!!

(Goodness me, if my brother reads this, he's gonna soo screw me till i shit all over the house, muahahaha)

I have lotsa things to catch up! My maths, GP, PHY, and my fav sub, CHEM sae..

Wahseh, summore 2 more days to GEMA PUISI, sheeesh, dats so goona drain me out.

And wads more farked up is AJ IDOL.

I need to find some songs to sing for auditons, which is next week.

Some solid song that suits my style. My voice. Simple and feasible to make a rendition of your own. Need help here!!??!!

And ya, homewrok is piling up like mad.

But hey, at least there's 'SOMETHING' to smile about, muahahaha..

Wanna noe wad? Kk, i'll narrate the story.

Once upon a time, a student name Hazamio was working hard to put up the MLDDS banner and logistic stuffs to be settled before DRAMA 2005. He was on his ladder, and was busily tying up the ends of the string when in the reflection of the window, he saw this CHIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBU girl. Not so tall, not so short, but ok2.

But ladies and gentlemen, SHE HAS BIG GORGEGOUS EYES!!! WTH?!

It took a shock shit out of Hazamio till he realises he is about to fall of the ladder. Good lord he regain his composure.

After setting up the booth for the CCA carnival, he and his frens slacked like MALAYS always do (hey, im a JAVANESE, so go and crap shit about Malays, i dun gif a fark? hahaha, pardon the strong vocab ya..)

His 'mat' fren, this JC1, came round the corner and told his adventure about how he escape from being slashed and cornered by a gang with 'PARANGS'. Lil did he know the mat knew the BLUE-EYE-WHITE gurl..

The mat suddenly busied himself into msging a fren of his. And when he was done, he say he's gonna fetch 'Someone', whom i believe is a fren of his.

Then when he saw the gurl walking down the path, he got all flimsy like a tower of cards ready to be blown away by the wind.

THe girl sat down. Her eyes fixed on him. Then she continued talking to the mat and farna, but neither that interest me.

THe air went quiet and warm. My ears suddenly went hush. All i could remember was her eyes. It was the most ASTRO-LIKE eyes i've ever seen.

My heart beated. "Look at her smile, see if she got the smile!!" said his excited soul.

SHe flashed a smile.

God. Transfixed. Spelled. Haz was stunned.

I'm swept away by love
Baby I can't help it
You keep me drowning in your love (DROWNING-BACKSTREET BOYS)

hahaha, serious! Tak bedek.

Den we talked alot lar. Tapi si mat ni menunjuk2 kot, menonjolkan kepervertannyer dan bende2 alah yg sewaktu dgnnyer, yg aku plak, i just keep cool and be myself.

That's my principle. Be myself. the Gentle man me, muahahaha. Mybae shahraini mite disagree wifdat (sori bout the locker thingy, muahaha, i did it ON PURPOSE *evil grionz* hahaha, just main2 jelah)

Then time doghang nk balik, si mat tu balik ngan dier.

Siallah. Argh. Habislah aku. BUt nvm. If she seek a gentleman and not some TAKE-ADVANTAGE kinda guy, then i got chance lar, haha. But kalo tak, dier akan aku kategorikan di kalangan POMPUAN2 BENGAP yg hanya membuang MASA DI MEJA PERUNDINGAN dan MEROSAKKAN HATI DAN KEBAHGIAAN HIDUP ORG LAIN.

BUt today, i saw he sitting outside the audi with her frens. SHe look at me then stab tak nmpk gitu. Menyampah, hahaha. Then you know me, act tak kenal ar.

Summore, i was walking with this classmate of mine whom the school really sees her as the HOT BABE, hahaha, so, menambah2kan keCOOL aku hahahaha, cam betol je budak berok nie.

But its been a very long time since i felt this way. You know, like the jealous kinda feeling and heart beating fast shit. Hahaha. Not piar though. Just suka2 lar. hahaha.

Kk, im actually blogging in school. Gotta clean up my stuff cuz there's gonna be like PE and BRIDGE program and GEMA practice later, haish.

I have no life. So gurl, dun take me away, hahaha, cam real je.

Dear me,

Why the emo2 nie huh? Pls lar, sudahlar, takmo cenggini ar, haha. Mengharapkan sesuatu yg tak mungkin akan kembali itu sudah tidak realistic ar. Pls lar.

But hey, at least, you have another try in life ryte? But i scared if things do work out, then how bout my ALEVEL???

I know its hard, your parents also are being insensitive towards you. And it really feels sick if you hope for a support, then that person instead spits you out.

Alone. Smile.

Peace.

If i give you 3 wishes, what will you wish?

3 wishes huh?

How bout, the first wish i ask for another 1000 wishes hahahahaha..

Not farnie ler, kk.

Hmm, maybe the first would be,

WE WIN GEMA PUISI!

Yeah, the whole GPA shit is killing me, even mentally, physically, my studies and etc. Its a whole crap lar. Not that im giving up though, but fark, its just too tiring and hectic and not enjoyable as before. Perhaps, the pressure to beat other institutes like TOP FAVOURITES, SINGAPORE POLY, SERANGOON JC, and finally, ANDERSON JUNIOR COLLEGE!!

I cannot believe we are the among top favourites. Thats why we are working like house elves. Hahaha. But shitlar, always come back home so late.

Then cannot do homework because too tired. Sedih.

Second wish??

Hmm, perhaps a day off??

Im kinda tired and very stress. I just had a word with Ms Sab on how to improve my GP. And the kind of work i have to do in order to get the A1 needs way lotsa commitment to it. My other subjects are ok though.

Summore, im really scared. Can't say it here though. Sori.

And i miss doing sketching, doing poems, and stuff liddat.

Third wish??

Hmm, maybe how bout, be happy?

I dunno, lately, im kinda not happy with everything that is happening. I dunno why i attract nonsense. Nonsense people, nonsense problems and stuff liddat.

Looks like im a magnet of all nonsense. Haha.

If you're reading this, im really sori i had to say it to ya face, not that i dun like you or what you know, or you ugly or what, in fact, you are beautiful cuz you have BIG EYES!!! hahaha, exaggerate sikit.

But, its just that, im scared to face the reality you c. My past haunts me like a dog biting and barking madly at you, and once you got bitten by it, you'll hate that canine for life. Total life imprisonment.

You're very nice and pretty, and i know that you'll do well for your ALevel like me. (haha, cam betol je aku dapat gd marks gitu, muahaha). ANd im sure you'll get a better kindof guy. And seriously, i didn't LEAD you or what, im just being the caring fren i am, so if you have the wrong idea, pls put it away. I dun hate giving false hope to people.

Im a heartbroken guy. Not a heartbreaker aite.

People break my heart or hurt me, not i hurt them.

Seriously, in my life, i really do feel you are the perfect person for me. You're smart (not study lar, not generalising anything, but just not the POMPUAN BENGAP type muahahaha), steady, friendly, helpful, loyal, attractive (GOD, seriously you DO have beautiful eyes, and smile hahahaha.) and etc..

But its just, hmm, how to say ar?

Ah! KUCH KUCH HOTA HAI, sometimes it just happens so aite.

I follow my heart. Follow my soul. Follow God. So, i guess that, to sum it all up, i'll take it as 'Frens now' kinda thing aite.. CHEERS!!

So, am im done with all 3 wishes?? Haha.. Idiot.

Miss my frens, especially my lil sisters (muacks) and soccer.
HEY, thx for the cheesy notes on my notebk. It totally made my day. Hehehe =)

Good news lads.

Im entering the AJ IDOL. Haha, serious tak farnie lar.

And the best part is? Im entering two categories.

1)Soloist
2)Band

Haha. I have a band. No name. But we're cool, and we're singing slow rock kinda music cuz i can only sing RnB and slow rock, haha. Most prob during auditions we'll sing STAND BY ME by OASIS.

And ya, i joined the SOLO cat cuz i feel my potential is not furthered enuf. Haha, chey, like real jer. And ya, got lotsa support from frens and fans, (my fan club lar, haha, like got liddat).

Hey, im no farking TAUFIK poser aite. I sing my style, ok.

And yes, the finals are seriously gonna be like the SPORE IDOL.

2 solo, 2 bands, 2 groupies.

Shees, dats gotta be pressurizing. But hey, i'll try my luck and see how aite. Haha, maybe there's other people who can sing better than me in school.

But im keeping my faith. The auditions are nxt week, i think. GPA over, IDOL here i come..

Peace.

Dear me,

Got, her face is like all over my brain. Help me. SOS.

hear dis.. toya, my beloved..

click on dis to hear me and my bro..

Speacially for you..

smile.

http://www.geocities.com/haz_pho3nix/kita.mp3.mp3

blargh...................again.

Tired. Confuse. No matter.

Life has always spat me, kicked me.

And neither you nor I understand dat.

People say, nah, everybody feels dat too.

But, let me ask u a qn.

How do you know its the same feeling, if, God creates us differently?

Where some people laugh, others cry in pain.

Where some people smile, others weep softly in their sleep.

No such thing as, " I know you, alah, its normal lah, i feel it too yanoe."

Describe it then, i challenge you.

I wun list all the shit i've been thru, its btwn me and God, for He puts me in this for a REASON.

Yes mira, finally i use your Wise Words, haha.

And i know the reason.. ... ...

Dear me,

You use to say, that love is for everyone, happiness is for everyone, and the need to share the love and care is greater than the satisfaction you need to fill in ur heart. Well, I think its a total crap.

Why?

Bcoz i dun feel the happiness. And in my eyes, i saw many whom i love fall in pain and sufferring.

Bcoz i dun feel love. When you say, everlasting true love exist, well, it doesn't.

Think about it, time is short, dere is no such thing as everlasting love.

Except... ... Love to Almighty God, parents, and TRUE frends.

A husband can be your true friend. But looking at the divorce rates, i dun see it appearing often.

People suffer from heartbreaking. I suffer it too. Does that make us similar?

No. The situation is same, but the feeling will always be different.

Cuz pain in the heart can never be describe by people. Give it a thousand philosophers. But none cud ever define the feeling of pain.

You felt it too, u know. You saw and fall in love for the first time in your lofe a girl, who was eating her way thru her lunch.

You saw her, and the you heard the first time ever the heartbeat of a human.

You fell for her, you tried every means to be with her, but, pity pity.

She left. And when you gave your heart to her, she left.

Oh, it feels like such fun until you lose what you have won. Your fav song ryte? Haha.

And now, you are empty.. E.M.P.T.Y
Like a hollow stone. Like an apple without a seed.

How can you love? And i saw you, fidgeting in your sleep, crying like a baby, boohoo. Foooyeee. Cry baby.

You cried in the toilet. At school. You smiled at others, yet meekly inside you felt so empty. You felt pain. Excruciating pain.

Where's the love, when you yourself say that, what, oh, "Love is when you love someone and never ask the return favour." What crap. Stupid.

But look at you, empty nutshell. Yet you still went thru the pain, along with the other pains you suffer all these years. And strong as can be, you stood up one morning in the toilet in the YOU-KNOW-WHERE, and said, "Hazlami, stand up please. Come on, you can do it."

And what did you do? When you felt so weak, you stood up and walked towards the counter and told the nursey "Im ready to go home."

You are strong, brother. But weak you'll still be, cuz you are empty, now you gave that woman your heart. Not that i blame her. Its life ryte, like you say. And she deserve a 'better' man than you.

Haish.

Listen to me, my dearest sister. The pain you feel is killing you. You are still walking on the boulevard of broken dreams. You still are in the realm of pain. And its hard to forget, let alone hate the person you really loved most. Let me tell you something, Love is beautiful, but it is also a monster.

You have to be strong. You must tell yourself, "I dun need him. Im me. I have lots of other loved ones to think about. Ya, you played me. But why must i need you, when you don't need me? Why must i feel this way? Is this me?"

Then smile, syg. Smile. Never underestimate a smile. Even if you crying, smile. It makes you stronger. Stronger than the person you are in now.

When he's ard you, yeah, you'll feel the pain again. But think again, he's not worth the tears. You keep those tears when you clutch your dreams in your very own hands.

And i'll be saving my tears for that occasion. And i'll walk away from the commotion, when you are jumping in tears, i'll walk away.

Why? Cuz i'll be crying and smiling, and thinking that hey, i feel your happiness, and im happy for you, and the thought of that will prompt me to walk away from the scene.

Just like an angel, who protects you, but when his job is done, he'll fly away, but still, his wings will shelter you from the rain.

Like what i did when you got your results. I left. I left when you are feeling the highest among the clouds. But i left not to disappoint you. But to make you even happier. Coz by the time you look ard and saw that im not there, it'll make you realise something. That the person that cares you the most walks away, but he still putting his love on you, and you dun feel the pain at all.

Instead, you feel happy.

Now that's love. The love for God, parents and frens that never dies. When the leave you, they put you in their hearts. And you dun feel the pain. Instead, you feel happy.

And then you'll cry.

Laugh, smile, cry, who knows, there's no tommorrow.

If you feel lost, ring me a bell, and the fireman will save you.

Yours Sincerely.
Mr Fireman.

PS: just wanna say, im glad i have people like Nadiah, Brennan Buddy!!, Nas blood brother, My lil sweetie pies Mira, Noni and Ain, and kamarul bro. You make me smile.

blargh

I wanna say

I HATE MYSELF.

peace.

dear me, i think you should deserve to die lar k.

At last, something worth a smile from me..

it's been a bad week for me..

but hey, sometimes God loves us through the cares, laughter, love and smiles from people..

I was kinda fed-up with myself mainly due to these reasons:
1) Not doing good in studies
2) Slacking
3) Urge of spitting vulgarities coming really loud
4) Tired and lethargic cuz this really is a bad month for me
5) Sick of being behind others
6) Can't 'mendalami watak' a monkey to be HANUMAN
7) Homework piling like shit constanly coming out of your ass due to diarrhoe
8) Not doing a good job as a son and student

But hey, like i said, im like soo TOUCHED to have my SIXERS around me..

Now now, hazlami, dun go into emo shimo..

but hey, surprise surprise, im crying ryte now..

Today was like shit, and during PE, when i was running my fifth round the track, I look up to the sky..

Never seen such marvelous beauty in life..

The clouds were chalky white, the sky periwinkle blue, it was such a beauty worth watching..

Then i remembered Him, so i asked thy Lord to give me a miracle today..

He granted my wish..

I was down tipsy topsy, but guess what?

My adeq NURULAIN msged me, and then i decided to go and meet them.

Support MIRA since she is going for her interview at NIE for a scholarship..

So lil me took mrt to buona vista and saw them there at MOE building.

All of us were there. Made the day already like almost the perfect.

So we kept mira calm before her interview, it went well i guess, and she was jumpy and in bliss after that..

but i think she was keeping a specific dilemma in herself, in a way that she cannot choose whether she wants to go to NIE or polytechnic first then go NIE..

well, my advise? Solat istikharah, ask around for info and advice, and think VERY VERY thourougly. Not to burden ya sweets, but the fact remains, THIS IS YOUT FUTURE, make good decisions.. i know its tough to make one, but i believe you can come out with a resolution aite.. smile!!

then we went to eat!! yum yum! Went ta BURGER KING @ Westmall, den we like walk around and talk crap and laugh and lotsa fun lar!

Haha.. that really really blardie tooty cheered me up lar! and their care and laughter and crap really put me to smileys and more smileys..

Now, i never felt so much care and concern and love today..

haha, and hey, im happy back again!

im like so over the moon lar, haha.. you guys really study me, ryte? like a subject, imagine, "hey, i still have homework to do. Wassit? Got HAZLINGLISH to do," muahahahahahaha..

Thanks guys, you rawks.. Seriously you are my lil cutey mushy tooty sushi juicy lushy gosshy sweetie puny sisters!!

Haha, too bad it lasted onnie for awhile..

before life plunges me back in cold waters..

but hey, as what a fwen of my say bout me:

"Haz, you're the type who smiles at life even when it spits ya, kicks ya, drowns ya, shit at ya.."

Smiling ryte now.. =)

Smile, laugh, who knows? Kal ho naa ho..

Dear me,

Oh, look what you've done, you made a
fool of everyone..

There's a lot of things I understand
And there's a lot of things that
I don't want to know
But you're the only face I recognize
It's so damn sweet of you
to look me in the eyes

It's alright, I'm O.K. I think God can explain
I believe I'm the sameI get caried away
It's alright, I'm O.K. I think God can explain
I'm relieved I'm relaxed
I'll get over it yet

Bakawali hampir mekar, namun
Tiada kelihatan si rajawali
berterbangan
bermain hayunan ombak angin jawi

Mungkin tiada mentari lagi
Akur sudah bakawali senja
tenggelam di ufuk sengsara
Harapan menanti, putus bagai temu ajal

Tiada ketemuan kesinambungan erti
Hikayat Bakawali..

Rajawali hampir sergah disaluti sakti
Namun tiada kelihatan si bakawali y
ang mekar senyap dikala pagi
adakah terdiam harapan mentari
bagi rajawali, tiada lagi

Suram menerkam, menerkah sengsara
kerna dihantui putusnya kesinambungan abadi
Namun, tetap rajawali mencari-cari
Bakawali yg mekar tenggelam di ufuk
jeremus karam ditelan lautan armada
usah menanti, kata diri

Rajawali hampir mengusap berkali-kali
Penuh titisan darah dan air mata
Mencari bakawali yg mendiam sudah
Hilang arah menakluk diri bagai dirasuk
si rawana durjana abadi
hati tetap berdegup namun, bilakah ia ditemui?
kembali?

Hampeh.

Peace.

Bad day, bad month, bad year, what else can go wrong??

Hey.

Damn.

Today sucks. 2 words. Sum it all up.

Gema practice was fun, but not animore. I got scolded for like a few times, and like, i wasn't disheartened by it but, was very pained to see my fellow friends like FARHANA and ADIB got scolded preety bad.

Haish. It pains me to see others sad. I dun care bout myself, if u wanna noe. Its just that people affect me soo much.

I read my adeq's blog. I guess we share the same period. PMS in March.

Dun worie aite, im here aite, always there if you fall..

Damn lar, im soooo like emo these days.

Summore, the song KHNH is like making me nuts!

It makes me realise how short life is, and how much time i have to help others.

Not that i help THAT mush ryte. Must have been paining others more than helping them.

Haish, there goes haz again.. emo modaf*ckin airhole.

Summore, today i thot things wud go the ryte way.

Maths= complete flop despite the easiness in doing the vectors test. Damn easy lar, but cudnt concentrate dunno y.

Lotsa in ma mind, im damn scared of what i mite expect these few days.

Not gonna put it on blog, sedih.

Just summing up, not a good time fer me this year.

Gotta sleep now, hmwrk waiting inside me lil bag. Tmr morning must wake up early to finish up tutorial. Haish.

And also 'mendalami' watak of a monkey (damn lar u cock! like i got experience to jump here and there like a monkey. suck my lolipop lar!)

And to my friend, SALIHIN of 26/04, welcome welcome to our class, hope ya like it yar..

Peace.

Day after day.
Time pass away.
And i just can't get you on my mine.
Nobody knows, i hide it inside.
I keep on searching, but i can't find.

The courage to show, to lettin you know
I never felt so much love before
And once again im thinking about
taking the easy way out

If i let you go, i will never know
what my life would be, holding you close to me
if i ever see, you smiling back at me
How would i know..
If i let you go..

Why is this happening to us????

No offence boys and gurls, but hazlami has gotta say what's in his head.

Damn.

It is really hard for Malay Muslim Singaporeans here to get a job.

Thats a darn hard fact. Sensitive, but i shall brave the torn waves and discuss it.

It is a reality that it takes alot for a malay muslim to get a job, in the past and also presently. Usually, the same piss-off kind of excuse would be,

"Sir, do you speak chinese?"

Wtf! No offence, my chinese friends, but that is reality. Cold hard fact.

Why? I must ask why. Everyday when we go to school we say the pledge, "...REGARDLESS OF RACE, LANGUAGE OR RELIGION..", but yet, implimenting it to daily life is seen as 'not-a-norm' thing.

I always respected my fellow chinese mates, and truly enuf, till this very moment i still do. But the fact remains, once they join the workforce, the situation would be different. There is a possible 70:30 ratio that a chinese will get employed as compared to other races.

What has happen to our education system? What has happen to our governmental policies? Where is the meritocracy?

It is shown, statistically, that we MALAYS are not stupid. More than 40% of our students are most likely becoming professionals, only that since we are the minority race, the statistics against the overall majority shrinks our percentage weightage.

But the mindset of MALAY=LAZY is still there. People still picture us as the 'race who only knows how to play dum and talk crap in coffee shops'.

This might have been sparked off eversince way back to raffles time. Raffles, unknowingly famous for rebuilding Singapore, has placed a fair stereotype on we Malays. The implimentation of Chinese hawkers as "Managers" and Malay hawkers as "Dum Players" instill a so-called mindset of Malays being unable to surpass responsibility in contributing to the economy.

My view? Farking wrong.

Why? During the Malaya Empire in Melaka, Malays are well-known to be excellant merchants who travel to every corners of the world to learn and trade. Legendary Hang Tuah even accompanied the Sultan to China. The Sultan himself had contacts with India. Until the Portugese came and destroyed it, Malays are well known as Explorers, who travel to diff parts of the world to trade. It is inevitable to accept that Melaka during that time was economically powerful as they control the Malay Archipelago and the Straits. It was, a golden age for the malays.

However, the coming of raffles brought about other forthcomings. Take for example, yes, singapore became a famous fishing port and that contributed significantly to the rise of our economy. But hey, he separated each race from each other, and brought in chinese merchants. No wonder SM LEE was kicked out from Malaysia during the MERGER- he brought a threat to the Malays Malaysian. He promoted a Self-Progressed Meritocratical society.

Now, Malaysia is called Malaysia bcoz it is a MALAY state. So it is understandable that the prospect of 'anak jati negara' or pioneer's of the land is accepted and truly enough, Malays there receive help, either financially or socially. He didnt like it, cuz he believe that everybody must receive equal share. But wait a sec. If he practice all equality here, it doesnt seem to appear that way. We malays here are suffering. Recently, my brother was posted to be COMBAT MEDIC, and to think that he is an ALEVEL graduate. Goodness me. ANd most of his chinese colleagues get Officer post. Only one of his Muslim mate got in, and he is an Arab, mind you.

Where is the equality??

And there's more. I talked to a good friend of mine on the phone yesterday, and guess wad? Her cousin went to apply for a job, u c. As expected, they wanted CHINESE SPEAKING. So she went to take a course on it. After that, she went back to apply the same job. Guess what? She got pushed off cuz she cudnt WRITE CHINESE. HOW WICKED IS THAT??

Equality seems to be a far-fetched reality. There can never be equality, i daresay. Even in USA, the Blacks still do receive unequal treatment. So i must say that, HUMANS are wicked in a way they are SELFISH and only think about their gain and not others.

There goes our sins. And for that, GOD punished us by kill thousands of people.

Humans. Can they resist GOD's STRENGTH and POWER?

While they can make nuclear bombs and sharp-shooting weapons, it is easily said that they can never fight or resist God's power. Even a tsunami, we HUMANS cannot save ourselves.

Talk about politics.

Dis make me sick.

Peace.

Even if she doesnt know, I'll still wait no matter what.. I dunno why i say that, but i just do. The feeling is intense, and i tried to fight it, but i can't. Kiahoa??

*LiFe Is LiKe pLaYiNg TaiTee..* quote of the day

yup. Life is just like playing taitee.

haha. I love playing taitee, but does that mean i love playing with life??

gd qn.

btw, im at sp ryte now blogging. I went to visit my friends and study with them. (They're having a bad time studying, their exams are up, haha. Sedih.)

So far, i've never complain about how tough life is. I was studying chemistry in the SP Library, and i look at the faces of young men and women, all poly students, and suddenly, something hit me.

Life is like playing taitee. Quote of the day. How cool is that?

Let me justify.

1) Taitee is game where risk is at stake, and sometimes, you have to be lucky to win. Get a house of ace or sumting, then win thru with a six or five.

2) Taitee is a game of strategy, where you sumtimes liase with frens to beat others. Like backstabbing or helping others liddat.

3) Taitee is a game of concentration. In life, sumtimes you have to focus on your strength, keep your twos before using them to beat others.

Stupid ryte? Haha. LOL

Wanna share something.

I am..

EYE WATCHER
Yes, thats me.. I look at eyes onnie.. Nice and beautiful eyes always captures my heart and make me swirl like smooth mocha in a cup. I always like those exotic kind of eyes, mysterious ones too. They say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Haha. That's ryte, that one. Dun have nice pair of eyes?? You can try..

SMILING
Yes, totally agree with that. Gosh, i can melt whenever gurls give me those kind of smile. Playful, yet sincere and lovely. With a tinge of sarcism and sweet. Its like a fusion, you see. If you possess it, GOD, GOODNESS GRACIOUS ME.. You have the POWER babe! Always fall for that one.. Got one time, there's this gurl whom i know. She was sad, u c. Then i smile at her, ask her whether she is ok or not. She suddenly wipe her tears, gave me this smile that totally drowned me. God. I was like drowing in the arabian seas. Made my day too. If im sad, and a gurl smile at me, im happy already. See, the power if a smile, totally potentially powerful tool. Dun have it? Keep trying aite.. How about..

LAUGHING
That shud do the trick. This is a tip fer ya gurlies. If your laughing is contagious, and after you laugh, you smile at him, god i tell you, the guy wud simply fall for you. Serious. Take it from me. Got lotsa experience, call me DR LOVE hahaha (stoopid name, dun call me that aite!) There's this once, this particular gurl keep laughing her head of, and that attracted me too cuz guys simply like gurls who are very warm and jovial. hahaha, really, tak caye sua. If you dun have tis too, goodness, i'll recommend..

BODY LANGUAGE
Take a course on this, it'll help alot, really. If you're hold this aura of mystery, complex yet showing that you're a simple gurl outside, but hard-to-get inside, you're PERFECT!! Sometimes, even a quiet session, but maintaining eye contact shows it all. I LURVE this kind, very hard to find u see. Hahaha, rare! You dun have this? Nvm, try this.. An alternative..

SELF IMAGE
This really works. You gurls shud dress not following others, but be urself. Be original. DUn follow stoopid ppl who wears slippers, or minahs wearing tight stuff. Come on, everybody is special man! (count me out, that one, haha) Where something nice. If you're the outgoing type, wear rugged. Dun act Ms Sweetie-wannabe-but-a-fake-inside-that-makes-others-go-YUCKY.
Be urself. Like my beloved cuzzie would say, be oRiGiNaL, LurVe YouRsELF. But really, guys like me like those kind who wears pink and stuff liddat. Oh! and Black! that shud make ya mysterious. Hahaha. I love pink, mcm pompuan plak. hahaha. It does not look gd on me, but damn it looks good on others! hahaha!

Conclusion?

Be urself. Work on those talking skills. I know some people who possess all naturally. They're special people. But hey, like i say, EVERYBODY is SPECIAL!!! Work on them, im sure you'll get the person you want most.

A bit of advice here. Usually, gurls nowadays like to go after those 'cool, hip, hop and happening' guys or matrips and stuff liddat. Look, LOOKS CAN BE DECEIVING. I know guys who looks cool, but yucky inside.

Advice? Get a good guy, outside relax and simple, inside heart of gold and cool, hip hop and happening. Its the inside that matters. Personality over image. Yupz, total agreement on that one.

Happy holidays. Gonna mug till i drop! hahaha. Peace.

Dear you,

I know you possess all.. But i know its hard to get ya.. but will try my best aite.. i dunno whether you'll read this or wad, or if u read this, you know that its you.. but trust me, you're the best! Totally awesome. The perfect gurl for me. Maybe fate isnt by my side right now.

Kal Ho Naa Ho

Har ghadi badal rahi hai roop zindagi
Life changes its beauty all the time
Chhaaon hai kabhi kabhi hai dhoop zindagi
Sometimes it's a shade, sometimes life is sunlight
Har pal yahan jeebhar jiyo
Live every moment here to your heart's content
Jo hai sama kal ho naa ho
The time that is here may not be tomorrow

Chaahe jo tumhe poore dil se
One who loves you whole-heartedly
Milta hai voh mushkil se
It is difficult meet that person
Aisa jo koi kahin hai
If there is someone like that somewhere
Bas vohi sab se haseen hai
That person is more beautiful than all
Us haath ko tum thaam lo
Grab onto that (person's) hand
Voh meherbaan kal ho naa ho
He or she may not be so gracious tomorrow
Har pal yahan jeebhar jiyo
Live every moment here to your heart's content
Jo hai sama kal ho naa ho
The time that is here may not be tomorrow

Ho, palkon ke leke saaye paas koi jo aaye
Taking the shadow of your eyelashes, when someone comes near
Laakh sambhaalo paagal dil ko
You try to reason with your crazy heart
Dil dhadke hi jaaye
Your heart just goes on beating
Par soch lo is pal hai jo
But think, that which is here now
Voh daastaan kal ho naa ho
That story may not be here tomorrow

Har ghadi badal rahi hai roop zindagi
Life changes its beauty all the time
Chhaaon hai kabhi kabhi hai dhoop zindagi
Sometimes it's a shade, sometimes life is sunlight
Har pal yahan jeebhar jiyo
Live every moment here to your heart's content
Jo hai sama kal ho naa ho
The time that is here may not be tomorrow
Jo hai sama kal ho naa ho
The time that is here may not be tomorrow

Dedicated to anonymous, and to my beloved frens..

PS: I can't stop thinking about you ryte now.. I've been waiting for you all my life.. And i know that i can never get you.. Is this piar? To love someone without receiving it back? I dreamt of you, think of you all day long.. And i tried as much as i can to put the feeling away, but God forbids it. There must be a meaning to it, i know there is. Love is beautiful, but the reality, i can never get it. I've been waiting for you eversince i saw you there a couple of years back. Told ya best fren, im being stupid to wait for something not mine.. help me man! haish..

Slacking..

im keeping in touch wif myself lately.. and im feeling much better now, with all my friends and family helping out to help me grow.

I've been thru alot, and i cannot go on without angelic help from these people..
1) Mummy and Daddy
2) Big Brother
3) Best fren, Nadiah Binte Basiron
4) Best Buddy, Brennan
5) Best Pal, Kamarulzaman
6) My lil adeqs, Nurulain, Mira, and Nuraini

Notice the number six? Yeah, tat's them man.. My Great Sixers.. So far, my life has been a very long journey.. Thru ups and downs, from i meet love, till i lost it, from pain to health, and from health to pain.. from sadness to happiness, and from happiness to sadness.. This song is dedicated to your hardwork and pure friendship, care, trust, fellowship, and most of all, love.. I love you all so much, and only my heart can tell you how much all of you meant in me.. My journey will end soon, and perhaps, will meet again someday.. But the freindship will live thru strong till the heavens.. Smile..

Yours Truly
Hazlami Bin Zawawi

nie adek aku yang paling gilerr.. tapi hati dier, ya allah, bagaikan emas.. dulu, time aku pengsan, time aku sedih, time aku happy, time aku runsing, dierlah yg ader nak tolong aku.. aku respect dier banyak skali.. kerana itu, akan aku simpan dier dlm hati aku hingga ia berhenti berdegup.. isk, sedih nyer dengar lagu nie sambil menyetaip.. 

nie aku nyer paling cute nyer adeq.. nmaer nie takbleh bilang pasal aku tak kasi.. *evil*, hahahaha.. klah, nie Mira, dier baik skali, tinggal dekat umah aku.. dier nyer ketawe je dah bleh buat org lain jadik gila.. hahahahaha.. Cute! 

kiter amek nie pat LET'S EAT kat LOT1.. time tu dorang baru dapat result.. alhamdulillah, maths dorang semuernyer baguih nyer, dari fail tu A2lah, A1 lah, B3 lah.. baguih lar..hahaha.. 

nie adeq2 aku.. hahaha.. cute kan semuer2 nyer.. slalu buat aku happy.. hahahahaha.. 

hari ni baru amek jap, pasal BEST FREN aku nak lagik up close hahaha.. Mamposlar, cam sial je.. muke neneks aku lagik lawer.. muke sakit kan? baru baik dari sakit dok.. 

Aku amek ni pasal ader lebah ngah berterbangan didlam bilik mak aku.. so aku cube sedaya upaya unutk mempertahankan diri.. lah, anak jantan pun takleh takot ngan lebah ke?? 

Close up yal.. Kengkawan aku ckp skrg rambut aku cam eminem sikit.. so buat gelak pose cam eminem! Muahahah! Cam betol je.. 

Ini rambutku sekarang.. siak je nyer barber.. suruh gunting pendek, wah, sampai berdarah2 tangan dier, end-produk?? rambut punk siot!!?! Hampeh tak bersalah kene marah ngan bapak. So kasik leperkan so tak nmpak sgt. Hensem tak? Atau cam katak? Wahahahaha! 

Ini rambut aku dahulu, panjang dan melenting bagaikan rambut medusa.. tapi sayang aku pada rambut ni.. amek dari hp khairul, tapi senyap2 hantar pat hp aku hahahaha..! 

Dr Hazlami, sedang berbicara dengan ahli Professional dari kelab mendaki hahahha.. Serious, tak bedek.. Cume pangat doktor tu je bedek.. 

Ingin kami mempersembahkan, Maktab Rendah Anderson!!!!! 

Kiter aderkan Picnic didalam bilik darajah NYJC semasa Gema Puisi hahaha.. Nervous siot.. Tapi kornag taulah aku, badot antarabangsa.. ade2 je gawak aku.. 

Aku buat muke steam kodok, kire2 nak pikat hati Mak Lah ngan bunge plastik. hahahaha. Muke cam nak berak je, kiter ni pat blkg hall, main2 sebelum gi GEMA.. 

aku buat peek-a-boo, pasal Farna cam buat bising blkg hall. AKu nie pure born kepoh, so gi check out, sekali camera tembak, mampuih aku dibuatnyer, kuang kuang kuang! 

nie aku amek ngan salah satu pompuan dari myanmar, tanyer samader aku nak donate unutk Badan Cacat Anak Berori hahahahaha.. Sori2 buat gelak, ni ngan suliyati ar.. kat hotel tu ler.. 

inilah DIA!! hahaha.. Gambar gua dan CEWEK JUTEKKU.. HAHAHA.. Nie Mintak no baguih.. aku raser cam bangga dapat amek gambar ngan wanita lawa nie.. mcm checkersboard, hitam putih! 

SICK!!

Its been like wad, 3 blardie days since i fell ill.

"Forgive me Oh MIGHTY LORD, for too much sins have i brought myself in.."

Dat means.. ARGH!!

I cannot go GEMA!!

Even cikgu jamilah insist me to rest.

Fuck

My temperature is like, 40.5*C??

I feel like im virtually flying around the world.

All thanks to my BROTHER, HASANUL ARIFIN.

OH.. LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE.. *from JET*

He brought back home dis contagious diseases what my family called it as the TEKONG VIRUS..

Now, even my mum is sick. My two lil brothers are also in high fever.

If my father fell ill, shit lar, one whole family sick.

Not dat i dun want them to be at home, but, ARGH!! Whose gonna clean the house?? Cook?? Wash the dishes and dirty laundry??

Summore, i miss a total of 3 days of pure mugging.

How wicked is that!!!

And even so, today im suppose to have SAFF CAMP (SAFF is a muslim organization i just joined. It brings me closer to the community and God)

ARGH!!

KK, fine, i'll keep the tension to myself.

Wanna say a few words to certain people.

Dear best friend,

Kan aku dah cakap, insyaAllah boleh settle nyer antara ko ngan matair ko. Despite the risks of being a middle man, bcoz of both if your trusts in me, i am able to help ya, one way or anothr. Remember my advice ya? And my 'Angelic Twin' (WHAT?? So im the evil twin ar? muahaha), sabar bebanyak lar aite. Me always dere to help ya both. It makes me happy to see couples end their fight because they really love each other. Not that im DR LOVE, but, i've been thru once and i can tell ya it damn sucks, farking painful lar. Banyak doa lar aite.

Dear brother,

Hey, you got STRAIGHT A's man!! Congrats!! Now at least imma motivated and wanna be just like you. I hope (doakan aite) i can get good results like you. Wah, nak jadik doctor sae?? Get a good scholarship and reach your goals aite. Hope i have the same determination as you!!

Looking forward to holidays. Wanna watch a movie. And shit, i haven buy the tix for the ice thingy shahraini wants me to go. Sorry ar beb, tunggu gaji ar. I go buy it today aite.

Gema is goona be the most exciting thing in my life. Summore, my watak is very much 'alienatic' as compared to the others (not ET ar.. hahaha, keep guessing..)

Got lotsa things to say, but i can't put it in words. So i guess,

"RAHSIA DI HATI, TIADA SIAPA YANG
TAHU.."

Peace.

Reminiscing

Shagged.

A word frequently used by me.

Tired.

Another word frequently used by lil me.

How bout, hmm.. Heart Broken??

Hmm.. Long time never see that word though..

But yes, will use that word today... ... ...

Im in the lab ryte now suppose to do GP stuff, but hey, Hazlami always liddat one ma, ppl ask to do sumting, he'll do sumting else, muahaha..

Haish.

I was checking my mail, when i came across this particular folder i've so long never did touch it..

It was called.. Ehm.

Stupid me go open the folder.

Opening the folder opened up the closed doors of a wonderful memory sought by many.

Love.

That's right folks. My first love. And to think of it, i thought i cud run away from it.

My answer?? No.

Diana says first love is always hard to forget. I put it in my pocket but lost it, uc.

But today changed my whole perception of it.

YOU CAN NEVER FORGET YOUR FIRST LOVE.

I agree. Haish.

Sadly, it has to end. Everything ends ryte, from life to death, from jobs to school, from happiness to sadness, from laughter to tears..

There's no such thing as eternity..

I thot love was eternity.. The love that i felt with her was truly a remarkable feat, a feeling so untouched by the mortals of the sinned.

But love ended. God put it to an end. I like to ask, Why?

Why must it end? Where it started off so beautiful.. But why has it to end in such horrible death?

Hasanul quote (my bro) : Eternal Love lies in God and Muhammad. Unconditional Love lies in Mum and Dad. Affectional Love lies in your family and friends. Pure Love??

Yep, where does Pure Love lie?

Does it lie in the One who would share your pain with? Such responsibilty is too difficult one cud ever see.

Where does Pure Love lie?

Is it in does you treasure most? Or is it in does who care for you?

My father once said, in life, everybody is alone. You cannot lie to yourself that you are not alone. Accept it that you are alone. Cuz you'll die alone. You'll be left in your grave alone. But accept this; You are never alone, IF, God is with you.

God, i am scared. Why do i feel this? Why can't it go away?

Why must i feel this? Why must i feel the pain everytime i reminisce the ol' book of memories?

Haish. I feel like shit now. Even the shit in the toilet holds some honour.

Im just nothing but a weak human.

But hey, at least i have something to cheer up.

To the person: I'll try my very very best to find ya, no matter wad! You have the bestest pair of eyes! hahah!

And my bro is taking his Alevel results today. Actually, im taking it fer him. Poor him, sick at home. Cheer up kae.

Peace.