I still have this monster inside my heart.
You want to know what?
I thought I dealt with it when I was studying about akhlak with Ustaz Abu Zaki.
Now I fear the monster is back again. This time its making me nuts.
"The sickness of the heart- Other than the greatest sickness of riak' (feeling greater than others), the next greatest sickness would be the sickness of jealousy," said Ustaz Abu Zaki.
The uneasiness. The overwhelming feeling of how people are 'above' me. The strong satanic emotion that twirls and swirls my rational brain. I can imagine how such feelings can cause even greater madness like the Iraq War and the constant backstabbing of neo-politics among great politicians. An utter shame I have become. I must act upon myself.
Work is sucky. CNY has brought no luck other than pure torture hearing the PRC talking like DFS is a market and smelling their smelly breath when they suddenly pop out of nowhere in front of you, open their big fat mouth and start, 'Ni hao shen sen... Wo..."
Wallau! Baunya bagaikan bangkai berkumbah najis.
Thinking back, these people, the PRCs, they are like the second Yahudis. They are subconsciously materialistic and their mosaic life is all based on who has the most expensive watches and shopping and buy things and gossip and stuff. They only care about money. Goodness. Although I msut admit there are some PRCs out there who loves peace and selfless in making a world a btter place for other people. Come on Hazlami, you're so bias, what you see at DFS is a mere 0.01% of the entire nation, and perhaps the ones shopping for OMEGA watches are the upper elite classes. Yeah, wadever.
But still, I always came back tired and still I have to balance between reading up materials, thinking of issues, play game, and squeeze that small amount of quantum space for myself to pause a thought about my ownself. I wish I can sit in a library and read quietly.
Oh ya, I might be going to Nepal with Alexis and ST this year. Its a cheap and fun adventurous getaway from life. I hope it does happen. Alexis is so into it. I just want to track up the plains and see the whole world split into two parts; the blue sky and the green earth. And since ST has experience in those regions (he is a nepalese after all) and all of us including Alexis (though she's a girl) are able to adapt to such rough conditions perhaps this would be a journey of a lifetime. I might even be able to write my thoughts in clear waters.
Speaking of this year, university admissions are coming up pretty soon. I must start building my portfolio.
Last but not least, I love God, Muhammad pbuh, mum, my family, Oasis, John Lennon, my close friends (Harold, Nisa, Arafat, Lil Killa, Taufik, Faiza n Fana, 4SIR family, Kamarul, Anuar, Khairi, Raffie, and many unspoken friends like the KL gang and AJ peeps), the guy at the mosque who found my wallet, the children of Palestine, my new friends in France and Bangladesh, the little chinese girl who wrote me a chinese character 'tree' and for giving me a kiss just now, the old apek who kept sweeping the floor outside DFS, my collegues in DFS esp Kak Shimah for the wonderful consistently-prompt food, ST for his stupid jokes, my godmother Ling, Eileen for her nonchalancy and wonderful spirit, Alexis and Sang Ah for the super friendship, the rest of the crew at DFS, Michael for lending me his guitar and many more unnamed personnel whom I believe have made my day.
Here's a happy song for you. :)
PS: If everyone is this happy, can the world rejoice and pause for a moment to hold hands and hug and kiss and put aside all differences and just love, wouldn't it be so good.....
Work is sucky. CNY has brought no luck other than pure torture hearing the PRC talking like DFS is a market and smelling their smelly breath when they suddenly pop out of nowhere in front of you, open their big fat mouth and start, 'Ni hao shen sen... Wo..."
Wallau! Baunya bagaikan bangkai berkumbah najis.
Thinking back, these people, the PRCs, they are like the second Yahudis. They are subconsciously materialistic and their mosaic life is all based on who has the most expensive watches and shopping and buy things and gossip and stuff. They only care about money. Goodness. Although I msut admit there are some PRCs out there who loves peace and selfless in making a world a btter place for other people. Come on Hazlami, you're so bias, what you see at DFS is a mere 0.01% of the entire nation, and perhaps the ones shopping for OMEGA watches are the upper elite classes. Yeah, wadever.
But still, I always came back tired and still I have to balance between reading up materials, thinking of issues, play game, and squeeze that small amount of quantum space for myself to pause a thought about my ownself. I wish I can sit in a library and read quietly.
Oh ya, I might be going to Nepal with Alexis and ST this year. Its a cheap and fun adventurous getaway from life. I hope it does happen. Alexis is so into it. I just want to track up the plains and see the whole world split into two parts; the blue sky and the green earth. And since ST has experience in those regions (he is a nepalese after all) and all of us including Alexis (though she's a girl) are able to adapt to such rough conditions perhaps this would be a journey of a lifetime. I might even be able to write my thoughts in clear waters.
Speaking of this year, university admissions are coming up pretty soon. I must start building my portfolio.
Last but not least, I love God, Muhammad pbuh, mum, my family, Oasis, John Lennon, my close friends (Harold, Nisa, Arafat, Lil Killa, Taufik, Faiza n Fana, 4SIR family, Kamarul, Anuar, Khairi, Raffie, and many unspoken friends like the KL gang and AJ peeps), the guy at the mosque who found my wallet, the children of Palestine, my new friends in France and Bangladesh, the little chinese girl who wrote me a chinese character 'tree' and for giving me a kiss just now, the old apek who kept sweeping the floor outside DFS, my collegues in DFS esp Kak Shimah for the wonderful consistently-prompt food, ST for his stupid jokes, my godmother Ling, Eileen for her nonchalancy and wonderful spirit, Alexis and Sang Ah for the super friendship, the rest of the crew at DFS, Michael for lending me his guitar and many more unnamed personnel whom I believe have made my day.
Here's a happy song for you. :)
PS: If everyone is this happy, can the world rejoice and pause for a moment to hold hands and hug and kiss and put aside all differences and just love, wouldn't it be so good.....
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