The Duality of All forces

A year and a day has passed since I ORDed.

A year and a day has passed since I msged Dian I am free from the clutches of army.

A year and a day has passed since I hear her voice say, 'Alhamdulilah'.

Little did I know, back then, a year and a day, I was going to lose someone so precious.


10 more weeks till her Death Anniversary. And few days after, our Anniversary.
I have specially prepared a maulid/tahlil session at my house, with close family members and close friends. I will message those who are invited. It'll be a small one.

To embrace pain, is to understand pain. To understand pain, is to accept pain. To accept pain, is to submit myself to God. Ultimately, only you oh Allah, has the Power to make things better. Have mercy on me, and erase her sins. Make her sleeping a sanctuary and not a pit of hell.

Oh Allah, the Most merciful, the Most Gracious. Have pity on us. On me. On her. And give me the courage to spread her love to the people that needed it most. She has made an ultimate sacrifice. To let me go. Now it is my turn.

I have understood it all. We can never conquer the ocean, nor the highest mountain. It is not Einstein who invented the quantum theory. It wasn't Ibn Sina who travelled across thousands of miles in search of knowledge and adventure. It wasn't Neil Armstrong who walked on the moon. It wasn't Hitler who nearly wipeout the entire Jew community. It wasn't Israel who slaughtered the Palestines.

It was Allah, the True Might of all universe. And that every adversary we face, it is not about overcoming it that makes us winners, its about submission to the victory and the lost. The duality philosophy of all kinds. To submit to two opposites of forces in order to understand one conclusion- that God is the Strongest of all, and 'tiada daya dan tiada upaya melainkan Dia.'

I can smile now.