Dian is gone.

Im broken. I was shocked to receive a msg by Taufiq saying that dian passed away.

Dian farzanna is gone.

For a yr plus I have waited to glimpse her face, but now its all too late.

I went limp, numb by the words left in my phone. I sat outside IRAS lost in time. And at that moment I was listening to Acha Septriasa's Sampai Menutup Mata- the song that she sang to me. Tears just kept flowing. I couldn't hold it. So many sacrifices I have made. So many. So so many. So much patience and loyalty. For a year I hold on to the promises I've made.

I shall recapped the journey that I've been through. To let it all out. To stop the pain in my heart.

People hold the wrong perception on her. And I did my best to hold it back, to protect what I love. By believing.



Dian Farzanna is such a beauty. She was a friend. In fact the only friend that I share all the deepest darkest secrets of my life. She was there every step. every obstacle that I came across- she was there. Love blossomed only because of the friendship we share. I never get the chance to see her, but after 2 months of knowing each other, she pop the qn as I was about to leave Singapore for Taiwan.

A mix-blood of Caucasian-German-Pan Asian girl, she excelled in her studies, achieving First Class Honours in Music, from Royal College of London, Music. She was born a prodigy, often playing for me and my army friends music pieces like MCR etc on piano. A quiet girl, but full of life- until the sickness came and took it all away.

After getting together, I made her promise me to wait for me till I return from a mth in Taiwan, fetch me from the Airport. Love grew deep like roots pouring through the sands. Communication was limited over there. My handphone was stolen, and panicking to save my relationship, I forge through pain and thick, walking 14 km and back to the nearest 7-11 to find something, anything, that could help me. It was futile, as there wasnt any hicard on sale in Taiwan, and I bought a normal phonecard. So I used a friend's hp to msg her, only a few, and the rest leaving her voice msges to her hp. Even during RnR, I emailed her constantly to say how much I missed her. I kept looking at her pics in my psp, and during outfield, in that cold freezing place, I kept myself alive, by imagining how it feels like after all of this is over, and that at last I can be with her.

But my dreams were shattered. 5 days till Singapore, I received a msg from her thru Taufik's hp. She had to leave Singapore for Australia to follow her family. She cannot fetch me from the Airport. And she told me she would leave to London to further her studies.

I remember how it felt that day. I was sitting with my fellow best buddies. Din was there, with Taufik and Sufian. Izhar and Wanpee on the other side of the bed. We were cleaning our weapon in prep to leave camp for hotel. I remember the tears that slowly leaked out. I was thinking, why everytime Im dis close to feel a true relationship, it will result in a failure? Why?

I came back to Singapore and took a cab back home. Alone. I felt horrible. But I was determined to hold on. I say, i wait. I will wait. I will sacrifice. Maybe perhaps with the sacrifice and patience, things would work out.

We talked on the phone, and shared so much. I always felt happy everytime I talk to her on the hp. She bought me a cake to celebrate 5mths of our friendship and love. Nobody special would buy me a cake, but she did. And not just that. The many other expensive stuff which includes the Jane Shilton wallet, the jeans, shirts, and that exp leather blazer. And all i could afford was a lucky bracelet, and a musical box.

Probs came and go, but we went strong. There were a couple of times I felt so much tension, and she was saying abt breaking up and stuff, and I was so close of breaking it. But the heart kept going. I say no, I say we must be stronger.

That's when she was warded a cancer patient. They found a tumor a size of 50cent coin near her left brain. That explains her frequent headaches. At that moment it was stage 1.

She was broken. I felt so sorry. But I knew I have to be strong for her. There was a chance of recovery. I went around, maulids after maulids, tahlils and majlis zikr, to pray for her health. It was so intensive, nearly every sat and sun was filled with prayer sessions. Just for her.

I remember, during Ramadhan, I called her when she was sick and bed-ridden, and I read the Yasin followed by tearful doas to ask for mercy from God.

I wanted to see her. It was so desperate. I held on. Her tantrums, her sufferings, frequent calls to let out her physical pains- I became the punching bag. And for 7 mths I persevered. It was so tough. So rocky. And with so much stuff going on back in camp, I was left clueless on what to act upon.

And yet I kept praying. I kept praying. So many things happen, but yet I kept it all to myself. Nobody knew how i felt. They keep saying, leave her, she is sick, you don't even get the chance to see her, you deserve better haz. Den define better. Define.

5 relationships in a span of 3 years, and define me better. While people happily struck 3 years of relationship, I could only hope for more than a 5 mths.

It has always been that way. And I thought, it cannot happen between me and dian. It cannot. I have to give my all, my best. My 110%.

The songs that I sang to her, the late nights talking to her, assuring her to remain strong and kept faith. So much. So much.

And now its as though a vacuum suck everything out of me. I felt like vomitting. The memories were so painful. And yet ppl kept saying, teasing me, and never did they understand what I really went thru.

Only God knew. And the pillow that served as my crying hole, to hide my face while I silently let my pain go, wishing that I could wipe it all clean.

I tried smiling. I went to the toilet, and tried smiling. But all was fake.


Dian farzanna. My girl. My friend. My best friend.

And now she is gone. Forever.

Where now, haz? What now?

Move on? Get another? I know the drill. Time will pass, and it'll heal. New memories will cover the old ones. That's life. That's how you do it.


But what if I don't want to? What if I never ever want to commit anymore?

What if I give up, and commit my love to the world? Till I get old and ppl will just forget me while I die and rot in a quiet room where no one would visit me?

Who then would put me to my grave? Who then would pray for me when Im gone?

Im done. :( even tons of ice-creams wun help. I'll cry and weep and mourn till I can't cry no more. Isz Sazli gone. Now dian. Y..............................................................................................................................................................................................................

PS: fyi, the last words she ever said to me, was, " den you'll collect my corpse!" and all I did was say,"do come back to Singapore" :((

Am I a bad person? Do I deserve all this?


... Cintaku, sampai ku menutup mata...

I had a tough week, fighting forms and thick attachments with bizarre letters stuck in between, and fighting the flu and fever virus that kept me on the sidelines for the whole week.

Seriously it hasn't been a pleasant journey. The temp went 40, so its no joke. I tot I was gonna die. And even some well wishes by ppl thru smses and calls didnt change anything. I lay low like a sick cat aint eating its meal.

And then went to work, and my production went to the gallows with a mere 30-60 a day. And usually wen my TTA gals tease me im all-funny, but the PMS struck and I became senstitive and so I kept mummed the whole way. Food taste like empty water.

That's the reason why im staying at home the whole weekend. Recuperate. Get myself adjusted and well-straightened up. So that I can keep my youth and vigour for the next week.

But the highlight for this week would be on the Thurs. After work I had a msg by dad, saying that the NUS letter came and he feels 'responsible' to open it. See? Fathers and their ultra ego. It wun hurt if he would say, im anxious and excited to open the letter. Ryt?

And sure enough, i gave him a call. Guess what? Interview for Nursing.

Some would laugh at me. Haz jadi nurse? Muahahahahahahha..

Well i dun find it funny thou.

So i sat by the curb waiting for din, and gave myself a deep thought. Wad must I do?

Wad could i do?

Can dis lead to my ultimate dream?

Can dis lead me to Africa, wearing an UN armband treating the poor?

Can dis allow me the opp to take pics with the kids in Palestine?

Can dis allow me to travel around the world, taking pics of life, and finally piecing everything up with a book?

Can dis allow me to be who I want to be, taking risks and explore the unanimous world?

Can dis lead to a relax retirement, some place away from humanity where I can learn something abt death?

I dunno. But wherever He places me, I redha.


But nevertheless, the money is good. I don't do nursing. I manage nurses. Get it? Hahaha..

With a degree, I can go to even UK to work. Its a key. God has shown His plan. He integrates my soft soul for the world with my firing aspirations to explore into a single path. Nursing.

Im proud to be a Muslim.

Anyways, we meaning Wanpee Din Izhar and me decided to open a business selling T-shirts. I think its a gd idea considering the talents in it. Din and Izhar are good in designing. Wanpee is a working bee. And me? Im just good at talking. Hahaha, i get the easy part.

Well, im setting up templates for them like shares, and the budget and marketing sector and stuff liddat for them. Thinking of a name for our small mini company. Hmm..


Taufiq's words gave me some thought. The part when Ariff disappears at the moment I sent out those emails to them- hell suspicious. He plays the avoiding game. But maybe I shud give it a rest and carry on with my life. Maybe..

And one more thing- I always have a problem asking a person out. I have to go round the bush just to pop the qn. And in the end, the mood disappears and I went to slp. That's a very bad habit. Shame on me, shame!

Im just shy, I was born that way, perhaps the person could be the initiator instead. Haha.

Wokeh. Wanna watch tv. Beep.

PS: Im starting to like you. :)

Wad a nyt on sat!

I crashed into a gd fren's class gathering, made new frens, den went to a dance studio and dance!

And wads more, it was hip hop!

So I and Azhari went to find a cap, and in the end he got a nice red one which i wanted so badly but i got tite budget at Far East.

Had dinner (salad to detoxified my shisha-exposed lungs) and off we went to Tanjong Pagar.

He got this crew which is made up of his classmates back in MI. Now dats a cool class. There's fauzi who is the crew leader, one of the best dancers i've seen in SP, and who is my MUSHU master haha, there's two hafizes, a chris, a chinese girl i forgot her name, munirah, and a few more.

And in the dance floor we practically expressed everything, and I think as a novice I do have some moves up my sleeve haha! Azhari kept saying, your moves are like jabbawockeez, of cuz la, im influenced by them, but im also keen to learn a few bboy moves as well.

I left the place feeling a rush that kept me alive inside, like you have drank a cup from the fountain of youth. And also the red cap that Azhari left it to me to safe keep it till the day I met him and go buy my first hip hop cap.

Haha. Duh.

So many things to say, but till i get my hands on the pics, i dun have anything to type. So da!

PS: We danced to every single song from the Step Up 2 movie. And I hope the nxt one, which fauzi says it would be a routine, comes early. So I can release the tension of having PushyPa in my dreams hahaha! (fyi, pushypa is my supervisor in IRAS)

Im so shagged after work. No more fly pies for the whole yr. Seriously. No mood to do shit. But hey hey hey! Im looking forward to SATURDAY!!

Guess what? Im a guest in this hip hop gathering of ma gd fren Azhari and his crew! Well, im nt sure what to wear cz im nt a hip hop person, but i like to try it yea! Its kinda cool learning new stuff, other than the constant mistakes i made when im screening taxpayer's forms!

I cannot summarise the whole weeks worth of crap, but highlights wud do.

1) Arsenal is out. Taik.

2) Im becoming increasingly productive, much to my utter dismay.

3) Im getting 2hrs of slp now, due to having bad nightmares about Form B1s and do I need to batch them out..

4) Mum is sick :(

5) Had a gd time chilling at Starbucks after maghrib on Wed with Azhari talking abt how good men like us losing out to bad rugged boiz who have the upper edge of wooing nice girls..

6) Pay day dah smpi, but how small it may be like, im still gonna say, alhamdulillah..

7) Sat im gonna be 100% jabbafied after a few learning moves by Azhari's crew

8) A sudden lack of gaming habits pushed me to greater stress

9) Royal plaza's double chocs chip brownie makes me drool for more

10) Went out with Imran and geng, the IRAS boys to go for a lil 'gentlemen' shopping at city hall

11) Wanna buy that swatch watch that has a cool design on it, and that white leather slipon shoe at peradas.. (is that how u spell it)

12) Had a fiery debate with Hasanul yesterday night about PAS and politics

13) Realised that im more a 'result-oriented' person

14) Realised that im never a fighter but would love to do ground charity work

15) Sudden dream to go to Palestine and Africa and join Mercy Relief to help the poor and weak who are suffering from war and political nonsense

16) Sudden desire to go ice skating with a friend who wants me to bring her out and try something diff since SP is getting more boring everyday

17) Sudden desire to go to that place opp Clifford Pier, to that one secret place where u can see the city lights from afar, and yet see the stars, but mosquito repellent is a necessity

18) Getting sick and tired from doing the same shit everyday like a robot

19) Want that Dell Laptop, but it costs 1500 bux!

20) Maybe photography could come into my pic later after hearing the amt of capital needed to invest on lenses etc


Thats it. Hmm, what song to put uh?

Ah, lagu nie best.

My chemical romance- SLEEP

So shut your eyes,
Kiss me goodbye,
And sleep......
Just sleep..........

ZzZzZzZzZz..

Work was hell. I am so shagged. Late night escapades coupled by alot of forms and numbers and protocols to remember is making my head go berserk. Yesterday i tripled my output, but today, with the weather so gloomy, things were starting to get freaky. Luckily i met sumone dat brightened up my day instantaneously.

Nurulain.

My beloved godsister. It has been like freak light years since I saw u, and look! Ur no more chubby haha! And the reason y I love this lil creature to bits, is that no matter wad, she or they would really understand and appreciate and backed me up and give me loads of motivation. Thanks!

It was sweet to know that you ppl have never forgotten me. Haha. And yeah, it was sweet ain, to compliment me in front of ur frenz who are my colleagues now, and made me blush haha! Do u actually noe that it has been like a century since I blushed? Hahaha.. Malu seh!

And yea, aku masih giler macam dulu, tapi dalam2 aku baik kan kan? Hahaha..

And yea,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO IZHAR AND TAUFIQ FOR MAKING THE 23rd and 22nd mark RESPECTIVELY!! HAHA!!

On wednesday, we boyz went to make izhar run like mad around town juz to get his cake that has no knife to cut and in the end we used an ARMY JACK KNIFE (courtesy by yours truly) to cut the cake!

On top of that, it was so unplanned that we decided to eat and talk crap in between taka and wisma haha! God i didn't know there's a garden in btwn it haha!

So we talked crap and stuff, and hell it was fun haha! The look on Izhar's face when he scolded me for making him run here and there haha! And when he saw the cake, i cud even hear his voice kinda trembled abit, perhaps touched? haha, so much for the high ego!

Anyways, after that we went home and I prayed and bathed and was abt to close my eyes to slp when Azhari called me at 1145pm. Dude, I was like going to die but you just called me when I was abt to have my solemn resting haven haha! So we talked, and goodness me, look at the time! It was my first ever guy to guy talk on the phone that reached close to an hour n half! Haha.. No we are not gay, just very good friends that have so much things in common..

Like how i like to travel and be rebellious, be who I want to be, know what I want to do, have fun doing things that are out of the box, wanting to be free and away from societal norms and live in a corrected just life that holds the epitome of being yours truly.

And yes, arsenal draw with liverpool at home. Next match they must win. If not, I would shred my bro's jersey to bits haha!

Oh ya, the guy still havent emailed me yet. Guess he is a chicken after all. Guess he is a liar after all. And you'll pay for being that way. God has his Masterplan for those who lie upon others and gave ppl false hope that make a person wait for 1 yr for nothing.


Speaking of which, i did talked to her, but i still dunt know her name. Haha. Hmm.. But yeah, i enjoy the flying pies she gave me, kinda spur me on to clear more forms haha! And still the team is pondering who am I receiving or making flypies at. Hahaha. Flypies. What nonsense.

Oh well, I guess sumtimes u have to be get the average ones instead. But still, it is always cool if a woman WATCH SOCCER!!!

:D hope my flypie never see this post haha!



btw, enjoy the song by oasis, the Masterplan. Listen to the lyrics carefully, and be thrilled by the world you'd see from it. :)


Take the time to make some sense
Of what you want to say
And cast your words away upon the waves
Bring them back with acquiesce
On a ship of hope today
And as they land upon the shore
Tell them not to fear no more
Say it loud and sing it proud
And they...

Will dance if they want to dance
Please brother take a chance
You know they're gonna go
Which way they wanna go
All we know is that we don't know --
What is gonna be
Please brother let it be
Life on the other hand wont let you understand
Why were all part of the masterplan..

Im not saying right is wrong
Its up to us to make
The best of all things that come our way
And all the things that came have past
The answers in the looking glass
There's four and twenty million doors
On life's endless corridor
Say it loud and sing it proud
And they...

Will dance if they want to dance
Please brother take a chance
You know theyre gonna go
Which way they wanna go
All we know is that we dont know --
What is gonna be
Please brother let it be
Life on the other hand wont let you understand
Why were all part of the masterplan..

"Vile women are for vile men, and vile men for vile women. Good women are for good men, and good men for good women; such are innocent of that which people say: For them is pardon and a bountiful provision." (An-Nur: 26)

Got this from sumwhere. Maybe that is the reason why I keep breaking up. And stupid things happen during the relationships. And the reason y sum women i try going after never end up together, or the other way round.

Alhamdulilah. God knows im a good person at heart. And all I need is a woman who would inspire me to all that is beautiful. Amin.

Dat wud say its cool to solat rather than say its cool to be hiphoppy.
Say that its cool to be nice and be what you are and not follow others, and wear what you want to wear as long as it is pleasant, rather than say its kental to wear that, its not fashionable, or gurls wun like it. How do you know girls wun like it? So your saying that you wear stuff to attract attention? Then it concludes one thing. Impressing others for work is ok. But attracting attention proves a point- that wud be an attention-seeker. And attention seekers usually wear masks- in front of others happy, so hip and stuff, but behind at home selekeh tk solat tk tau masak kuaja dgn ibu bapa, and then go n sleep feeling sad and lonely. And actually, dis people are emo themselves. Haha.

Im cool. Cz its cool to be me. Im hazlami. I love what im doing. I have my strengths and weaknesses. But ultimately, it is wiser to follow your heart then follow others. Cz being sumbody else is not cool.

But being a jabbawockie isnt. They are cool. Haha. :D

The first thing that I did when I woke up today was switching my mp3 on n plucking it in my amps, only to find out that this song is playing on 98.7 FM. Its called, 'Here comes the sun' and is also the OST for Bee movie. Damn nice song, makes me twirl and sway on a late sunday morning.. :)

Do click on it aite to enjoy the music while reading the post

Recap on the things dat happened for the past 2 days.

On fri night after working tirelessly at IRAS, i met up with Izhar with Din and we had our dinner at Cahaya restaurant on the upper floors of Far East. It was not what I call a stupendous meal. My hotplate rice look like glue. Really, not mucus, but a higher level of mucus called glue. Haha. And it taste horrible. I was supposed to order the claypot rice, but it was a wrong decision now. Dah jadi bubor seh tkkan nk suroh makcik tu pi rewind the cooking and ask her not to put too much starch duh!

After which we didnt noe wad to do. So we walked all the way to Cathay only to find out that there is an exhibition about AIDS outside the mall and a few activities was carried out there. Cudnt do much, instead of pouring our ears to the flawed singer-to-be-rocker-but-having-probs-with -his pitching on stage, we poured our beady eyes on the art photography relics hung alongside the huge tent. Damn nice, it actually captures the notion. Goodness i really need the bux now to buy my own cool digi cam thats worth 900 bux!! In the end we got called to take part with sum quiz and surveys but we ended up taking pics with an ang moh hahaha!
merepek seh, aku tk tau seh pakcik montel putih ni tetiba pat situ. But i give them all the credits for being very friendly and supporting. Dats the reason why I wanna go overseas, i wanna make supporting frens yg bleh bawak aku menjelajah satu dunia and try amazing stuff!

Den we walked all the way to Fort Canning park. I do not know why, but we ended up laughing and giggling like a bunch of girls haha! We spotted cool dudes grabbing titties of young womens without noticing haha! Tempat tu memang tempat mengotek and skodeng.

Took sum more pics.. Aku cam malas nk upload ah, so i just take random ones..

Hantu pisangs tecegat di luar prison gate sambil menunggu masa untuk dilepaskan kembali....
Aku dan Izhar jadi NightCrawler seketika saja. Dalam gambar ni bleh nmpk aku diri tangan terbuka, izhar tunduk ke arah 'groin' aku entah nk buat aper haha.. tak senonoh bukan begitu?

3 monyet cuba memanjat tiang yg mereka ingatkan pokok pisang


Eh budak ni bleh tido plak.


Dengan ajaibnyer din telah mengeluarkan kami berdua dari celahan jejari beliau yg masih segar dengan bauan mee sup fishball yg tk menjadi..


Aku mengtrenspot diriku keluar dari tempat tu ke tandas berdekatan untuk berkumbah najis.


Kami berdua cuba menjadi ahli gusti mengangkat izhar yg terpaut kepada tiang yg kami ingatkan pokok pisang...

Aku dalam proses mengtrenspot diri aku..

Dan terus keluar di tengah-tengah entah sambil berdansa.. Lihat muka aku yg cramp setelah menggunakan fokus tenaga hahaha!

Da tengok? Puas? Bleh?

Bleh blah!


PS: I didnt know you wanted that LOTR fairy thingy, I was about to buy it for myself cz i dun think ppl wud buy such things, haha.. :)
And i dun mind being bullied, cz actually i dun care haha! as long as u dun cross the boundaries, which din have tasted alot of times before hahaha, i am very very nice and kind and caring, but step me too much, i'll turn so sour u never wish u'd sucked me.. :D

here comes the sun, do do do do..

here comes the sun, do do do do..


Oh one more thing..

Im officially jabbafied.
Join me.
Jabbawockeez
The Ultimate Revolution
that'll rawk the nation
clean.

Today was hectic at work. Will update again to exaggerate more. And wads more, my team comprises me and 4 girls, just DAT! and the guys have the chick to ask me, eh, ko untong ah dpt chixs power, intro pat aku ah.. I kept quiet, thinking, wtf, im here to work, not to look for chix, just wanna earn a living so i can giv sum to mum whom i think needs sum cash..

n ya, after work, it was a hell fun, will update u guys more tmr once i have my sleep..

I'll call it, the journey to west- no east- um, i tot it was north- no no, its by the huge tree, according to the map...

hahahaha.. wokeh, den in the nyt, i heard this guy play on the guitar this song called 'Gadis Gelapku'..

Wad does the phrase mean? As in, gelap meaning a crush? but accocrding to the lyrics he really do loves this person, so it can't be a crush! so wad is it?

maybe a love that the guy thinks he cannot obtain, maybe the girl doesnt give back wad the guy gives, or maybe the guy is shy, and this is how he conveys his feelings to her.. Aww.. dats so sweet ah, unlike nowaday guys who blatantly says, eh bleh mintak nombor? den msges, a few dates, den can say its love? den after dumping her, he'd say we dun have chemistry? well brother, women deserve better than that. period.

And so this is dedicated to those good guys who are gentleman enough to keep their feelings to themselves till the time is really ryt for him to really say the words that are really sincere and just..

Ku mencintaimu, lebih dari apapun
Meskipun tiada satu orang pun yang tahu
Ku mencintaimu, sedalam-dalam hatiku
Meskipun engkau hanya kekasih gelapku...

Ku tahu ku takkan selalu ada untukmu
Disaat engkau merindukan diriku
Ku tahu ku takkan bisa memberikanmu waktu
Yang panjang dalam hidupku

Yakinlah bahwa engkau adalah cintaku
Yang ku cari selama ini dalam hidupku
Dan hanya padamu ku berikan sisa cintaku
Yang panjang dalam hidupku...

Ku mencintaimu, lebih dari apapun
Meskipun tiada satu orang pun yang tahu
Ku mencintaimu, sedalam-dalam hatiku
Meskipun engkau hanya kekasih gelapku...

Ku mencintaimu, lebih dari apapun
Meskipun tiada satu orang pun yang tahu
Ku mencintaimu, sedalam-dalam hatiku
Meskipun engkau hanya kekasih gelapku...

Ooh...

Ku mencintaimu, lebih dari apapun
Meskipun tiada satu orang pun yang tahu
Ku mencintaimu, sedalam-dalam hatiku
Meskipun engkau hanya kekasih gelapku

this song is utterly touching, it really goes straight deep down, i do not know why, but flashes and images of wad cud be, wad cud not be, wad had happen, and the possibilities dat if..

im lost. everytime i hear this song, its like i just go blank, and like my brain auto-isolates my innerself and bring me to a place where i'd usually run away from it.

it shows a lot about me, im a guy who lives in a self-denial world, always saying i can't, i can't, i cannot do it anymore.

maybe i cannot. anymore. but if dats the case, why?

haish. all i need is a person who can make me smile, i kurangkan criteria dia la, takpayah buat i ketawe, stakat gitu ok ah, let me do the jokes.

let me do the jokes. sigh. an unpaid joker.

Oh well, back to slumber land.

I dun wish to say much, cz im having a terrible cold and a fever. Plus, the aircon over there at IRAS is freaking freezing. With so much tests and information overloading my sick brain, all i cud say is-

I want an Ice cream.

But still it doesnt satisfy me. I paid 1 dollar for that ice cream ok?

But its kinda fun knowing all the loops and hidden crannies of the tax acts. When I work with them, I go with the government. But when im outta of dat freezing place, i would go like-

Koaja je system tekan rakyat.

Haha. *cough* sigh.

Tmr got practical, so at least im up for it i guess.

Oh ya, one more thing. What I noticed there is that, every time I do not have a pen to sign the book-in files and stuff, there would be a girl offering me their pen. And I think this is the only place where I exchanged smiles like every moment. Am I too friendly? *scratches head* or maybe cz I look young and hence they thot im sum 18-19 yr old guy waiting for NS?

Bullshit. Never judge the book by its cover.

I may look young and may act childish sometimes, but decisions made and life exp made me more wiser and made me think more critically about certain issues that affect us as general.

Da.

HAAAACHOOO!!

*wipes nose*

I hate being sick. :(

Yesterday was fanatic seh. First it was kelas agama late morning. Then the cock up started.

It was a frenzy, i tell u. First of all, the plan was unplanned. I'll list it out.

1)2.45pm @South View meet up w ma Hongkah Pri Peeps cz Nurizan is getting engaged and im supposed to link up with Aini, Solihin and Nisa.

2)3.30pm bring out ma 2 cuzzie from ma mum's side to go for swensens. Not confirmed

3)4.30pm go out have ice cream @ swensens w ma 4 cuzzie from ma dad's side. Not confirmed too.

4)9am play soccer w ma CCK peeps @ Yew Tee.

5)6pm meet up w Kamarul and ma CCKSS peeps go Beach Rd

6)5-6pm link up w Wanpee go Karaoke


So it was hectic. I totally missed the soccer part cz i woke up late as per norm. Den I went to ma religious class without my bro cz he got sum NUSMS stuff to settle. Finish quite early. So I hitched a ride from this pakcik from dat class to Woodlands Causeway Point. Reason? To burn time and have lunch since I was way too hungry. I actually thought of fainting seh haha. Damn weak. And the reason why I went to CWP was that, god, it has been ages since I ate there. Like what, 2004? That time I always go there have lunch cz I met up w Aishah my first love back then and spent quite sumtime there studying too since CWP is the centre btwn AJC and home. S

So I followed back memory lane, took the same path that I went by a gazillion times back then and went to the food court to have my fav Sweet Sour Chicken Rice at the Cavana Express.

I was msging 4 counterparts at the same time. NO 2 plan went backfired. So I go with NO 3. But shit I suddenly remembered Im supposed to meet up with plan NO 1. So I rushed to the MRT and went to South View. But the shit thing is dat, it was only Aini there. God she was pretty. Haha. The last time I saw her was in 2005. Now look at her, all grown up. Art Teacher summore haha. So we chatted abt past history and crap. Nisa was late as usual. Qisya anak dia plak nk ikot. So we walked to Nurizan's house and met up with Solihin.

He is fat. Period. Ape? Berisi? Taik. Fat means fat. Period. Haha.

We went up and saw the Pengantin. Ok, normal terms ryt, Pengantin is referred to the person getting married. Keyword: Married. But she is just getting engaged. Getting married 2 years later. So why the fuss.

"Mane pengantin? Mane dia?"

Taik. Haha. Ni lah budaya melayu, macam paham je.

We sat and ate and talked hell of a lot of cock. How Aini still got the 's' pronunciation wrong, how I use to bully her, get her to pass her homework around so we can copy haha. Gosh I miss those golden days. No stress. Always playing and having innocent fun. They all brought up a good point too. That I maser Tahun Nippon dulu pantang pompuan pegang tangan lelaki, slalu cakap, "Eh haram!" Hahaha. Sekarang? Muahaha. Tu up to u ppl to decide, aku tknk komeng. Haha.

Solihin was the prat boy who like to draw pics of Spiderman and disturb girls.

Nisa was the attitude girl who got backstabbed by sumone and was put to Vice Head Prefect instead of Head Prefect.

Aini was the good girl- always disciplined, prefect, neat and tidy, scores in art subjects, and the source of my homework distress haha.

Nurizan is totally the gossip girl. All the things, the crushes (blergh, kecik2 dah mentel, tgk aku, buat derk je, cumer tau spider kang aku paling terer di kalangan spider-spider dlm longkang besar) the politics, and stuff.

And me? The alim guy who cannot touch any girl haha. Too holy! And ya, the maths and science guy. Weird. Now dats totally wrong. I totally suck at that. Haha. Oh ya, and also the kid who likes to go ard and catch spiders and butteflies making love and split them into half and play hamsters and draw 'Z' words using chalk on girls' bags for the fun of it and snatch away girls' homeworks cz their handwriting is neat unlike boys and also...

The guy who played fire extinguisher at level 3. Haha. Wad a shitbag.

And after that I met up with ma cuzzies and had ice cream and sent them to the Orchard MRT before hitting back at Cashbox Karaoke to meet up Aisyah.

I was late!!! I reach at 8pm!!!

But that was nothing compared to the fun I had INSIDE the room 13.

Bilik 13.

Di mana dua lelaki dan tiga wanita sirius melaungkan suara yang agak memekakkan.

Haha.

Oh ya, ada cita sikit.

Sblom ni, wanpee msged me the night before, "Nak karaoke besok? Aku sorang ah, Aisyah bawak kawan pompuan dia."

So I replied,"Bleh ah, member nye pasal, nak ajak yg lain kaki karaoke tak sekali?"

After like 10min, he replied,"Zim tak kasi ah, dia tk nak ramai2."

The question is, sape seh Zim?

So I tanya la,"Zim sape seh? Zimbabwe?"

Hahahahahahahahahha. Rupernyer nama org la haha. The girl at the ORD parade w aisyah is Zim. Abeh aku steb je ckp, Zimbabwe haha. Shh... Hope she doesnt see this entry. :D



But yup, Karaoke was outstanding, esp with wanpee-aisyah clicks. So seporting. Aku setat nyanyi, dorang amek gambar la, pekik telolong la, haha. Zim pon joget dangdut lagi. Hahaha.

Keh thz to aisyah kita ada gambar!! Wee!!



Itula bebola disko yg agak memeningkan kepala aku. Aku angkat sumpah sesiapa yg letak bebola disko dlm bilik dia, aku akan buat bebola itu jadi bola keranjang.



Tula wanpee aku zim and nuri semua nyanyi dgn
bersungguh2 haha..

Anugerah Karaoke 2008

Contestant pertama : Aisyah

Contestant kedua: Zim.... babwe hahaha! *jgn luper minum air madu, suara dah serak hahaha..*

Contestant ketiga: Nuri. Aku ingat dia cina seh, skali part dia nyanyi lagu awie je aku tau ni melayu haha.

Contestant keempat: Wanpee. Hidong maintain eh haha!

Contestant kelima: Aku lah.

Ok gak eh quality dia meskipon diambil dari hp.




















Muke tak cramp setelah penat melatih otot dibahagian
tekak




















So much for the brotherhood. Nyanyi khusyuk nampak? Khusyuk nampak? :D





Ni part aku nyanyi dgn Zim. Lagu My heart. Ape yg aku notice, muka dia sebijik mcm Acha Septrisia. (is that spelled correctly?) Haha, aku malu gak ah, tk PERNAH, TAK PERNAH aku berduet dgn pompuan tau.... :D

Presenting...

ZIM AND HAZ.. (kalau campur namer jadi hazim, itu kawan baik aku semasa aku di sekolah rendah dahulu)



dah naik syok nampak... hahaha!

Ni nyanyi kene sampok dgn hantu pisang hahahaha! Pasal tu mata jadi oren, gauo!!

Ni aku dan dia dah malu sgt kot, pasal ada adegan di dlm music video "My Heart" di mana si pompuan pegang tangan laki tu hahaha..

Bleh sempat pose plak tu!!



Ultimately, it was damn fun ah. Pastu kita orang pegi makan minum pat maner entah..


Joined up dgn kita suhana. Koajar si aisyah, mentang-mentang aku tangan panjang suruh aku picit gambar....

Haha.. Aku nak pegi lagi! Aku nak pegi lagi! Whee..





Today not much, in da morning ada pegi maulid pat umah TG pastu makan and slack pat umah chat dgn din. Hahaha. Yelah, kata abg din, aku ni sbg manusia dgr kata abg2 ni hahaha..

Ok da!

PS: aku semacam kene sampok jugak kot. Entah mengapa niari aku smcm ada kupu-kupu dlm perot aku yg penoh dgn nasi briyani. Sakit perot tak.. =)

Or maybe kene sampok dgn hantu pisang ni..
Hahaha, slmt menggoreng pisang!

She never came to spore.

I didnt even slp just to wait for a call or an sms saying that im here.

So now I think Im really stupid.

I got punk. Haha.

So back to my simple life. Hmm, where do I setat?

Ok, for nusrah's sake, i think i have sum explaining to do.

But I'll post abt wen the time is ryt. And hey, im never always emo, ok? If I am, I wun be the cheery guy who keeps laughing and talking all the time, just that like I say, ppl have their ups n downs, its always good to express ur feelings, as for me, I share it w ma fam, ma peeps, thru convo, post sajaks online, im just dat type of guy who express his feelings and never admits ma ego by saying, "Im a man, so I keep things to show that im tough!" Im cool w dat, but I love maself, and I respect maself, I love what im doing, I respect ppl, and diff ppl hv diff personalities. But every person is special in their own ways, have their own goals, dreams, and diff ways of expressing what they believe in.

Ma lil bro expresses his anger thru silat.

A friend of mine write songs to show what he thinks.

Basically, life is too great, but the importance of understanding what a person is going thru that counts.

Now thats human. But nowadays ppl lack this kinda stuff, dun u think so?

Look at Palestine.

Ppl know that the peeps there are suffering, but what we lack is the understanding of how sad they feel, the losses they suffer, and all the other crap. Ppl brush it off their minds, and continue living their lives in absolute oblivion. Singaporeans only care about how nice their car is, how to get rich, how to not get themselves fine. But it lacks the concern of an individual over another individual.

Sometimes we need a hero. But ppl always forget that in each and every one of us, there is a hero. And that hero lies in the conscious of our mind, to do the right thing, and the faith in the heart, that everyday we try and help others, even if we cannot, we think about them. Who knows, one day when we are suffering, ppl think about us, and that, my friend, is the key to unravel the secrets about life.

Have you ever wonder why you are in this world? Why you are born w perfect arms, beauty, great health, incredible mind?

And not like those who are born deaf, blind, w syndrome and stuff like that?

The society has grown rapidly. Now I have thoroughly understood what my father told me to think.

"Look at the clock. How come time is going clockwise, when you need anti-clockwise movement to go forward?"

Try and imagine yourselves facing a car that is going forward. From that angle, what do you concur from the direction of the wheels of the car that is going towards you?

Its going anti-clockwise.

As we salvage ourselves to the will of God on the holy grounds of Mecca, the pilgrims turn anti-clockwise around the Kaabah in search of God's mercy.

So are they moving forward or vice versa?

As the turn of time ticks away, society's paradigm shifts to certain death- its as though time is a ticking bomb. The term that I would use is 'moral genocide'. Ppl kill one another not defined as an act of killing, but thru their squared lifestyle; they thought that they are moving towards modernisation- a world of globalisation that would bring us closer to perfection. Perfection. But does modernisation allow young children to scold their mothers, and treat them as their slaves? Does modernisation bring us to 'perfection' when the very fundamental concept that was once idolised such as love, ethics, courage, honour- all that we adore and portray in movies and literature, that we use it as a means to bring us closer to History, all dissolved in the host of materialistic ways of making illusions called 'living in self denial'?

Life is cruel. That is a fact. But do not be swayed by humans who would say and share and impose that since life is hard, we make the better out of it. Enjoy, laugh about it, spend, enjoy, bal bla bla. But being individualistic about it doesnt give us the reason to live and die for.

Hendak mati di hujung kuku
Hendak berkubur di tapak tangan (excerpt from Gurindam Jiwa)

Our forefathers, old philosophers are the very few men and women who visionized the destruction of men at our age. Death is certain. But dying with a reason that I did what I could to see through my age, and that knowing deep in my heart, I have helped a few individuals along the way, thru simplistic norms and means, I would say, I love life.

I Love Life.

:)

Im expecting sumone to be in Singapore today. It has been 11 hrs since the clock strike midnite last nite. 24-11=13.

13 more hours and counting...

Im holding ma hp tite..

Tidak.....

She is on concert! On the 21st March 2008, not 2009, but 2008! Which means...

TOMORROW!!

DIARI HATI, DATO' SITI NURHALIZA
Singapore
21 Mar 08, Fri, 8pm, Theatre

Shit! I wasn't informed! Padanla asek dgr lagu dia on tv suria..

ARGH!!! I want the tix!!

Tapi tkkan nk tgk sorang! ARGH!!! Why didnt I know earlier, at least I could plan it somehow..

I only got to know about it just now, cz im at City Hall ryt now in some cafe, and I walked past esplanade w Taufiq, and saw the huge poster of her there.

TIDAK....................



Dia nyanyi lagu Biarlah Rahsia jugak!!

Aku baru nak setat syok balik pat dia eversince she sleep w that Datok..

Doll-looking, long eyelashes, slim sweet lips, with that cute eyes, puffy hair, its on her music video Biarlah Rahsia that capture the true essence of her beauty.

Summore in the video she use pink gloss on her lips, black mascara, even her foundation is picture perfect, light brush on her cheeks, cuz she have nice cheekbone so she doesn't need darker powder, just light red powder on her cheeks, plus the nice skin tone, absolutely gorgeous!

Im so unlucky. First, yesterday. Now, today. I have to think of something to bring Lady Luck back on ma side.

If only I got the tix now... ... ...

I would be the world most happy man, and my happiness and laughter will spread and sustain for 2 mths!! Yup, 2 mths!!

It would look very bad on me, esp since I have been her fan every since she is like, the young chic I knew who sang 'Aku Cinta Padamu', and the girl who won Juara Lagu against all odds.

Sigh.

Kriteria kewanitaan untuk aku semua tertera terpancar terbenam tersurat tersirat ter ter ter...
dalam Dato' Siti hahaha!

Dahlah baik, manis, lembut, confident, taat pada mak bapak, agama pon ok, whee... :)

PS: Enjoy the music video.

how come i feel as though i am the most stupid guy in the whole galaxy?

dat people just take me for granted?

haz, help me do this? haz help me do that?

haz, i need ur help. haz, im sad. cheer me up.

haz, haz haz.....

Fuck man.

And the phone call was damn depressing. Y do u always like to threaten me? You like dying is it? Den go ahead, die, be jealous, be crazy, be wad u wanna be!!

And leave poor hazlami alone..

Always end up being the punching bag. :(

Den wad? Collect ur dead body on the 21st March? And wad u want me to do? Be sad? Be miserable? Be just like you? So emo like the whole burden of the world is on ur shoulders? That u are the only one suffering..?

Keep on assuming, and blame me for everything.

Listen, if ur reading this, or anyone associated w it.

I KNOW WHAT YOU DID BEHIND MA BACK, I KNOW EVERYTHING. YOU HAVE LIED TO ME. I HAVE PROOF. AND I'LL PRAY FOR YOUR SOUL, AND GOD IS ALWAYS FAIR TO ALL HIS CREATION.



Now dats being selfish. And i hate woman selling fish. Esp in the market. With their irritating voices and all. "Ni satu kilo, sapuloh linggit!" Taik.

Go away. Leave me alone.

I need a hug.
Bear hug.

Bring me out for ice cream? anyone? :(

Tuai padi antara masak
Esok jangan layu-layuan
Intailah kami antara nampak
Esok jangan rindu-rinduan

Anak cina pasang lukah
Lukah dipasang di Tanjung Jati
Di dalam hati tidak ku lupa
Sebagai rambut bersimpul mati

Batang selasih permainan budak
Daun sehelai dimakan kuda
Bercerai kasih bertalak tidak
Seribu tahun kembali juga

Burung merpati terbang seribu
Hinggap seekor di tengah laman
Hendak mati di hujung kuku
Hendak berkubur di tapak tangan

Kalau tuan mudik ke hulu
Carikan saya bunga kemboja
Kalau tuan mati dahulu
Nantikan saya di pintu syurga

The thing about malays is that they fail to understand this song. The failure of understanding a simple puisi renta like this is a failure of the society itself.

Kata P.Ramlee, "Bahasa menunjukkan bangsa tau.."

Haha!

The trick to understand the puisi lama is to not notice the first two lines, but the next two lines. However, there are some puisi lama dat incorporates the moral message which is usually written at the last two lines with the "kata-kata bunga" which is the first two lines of the sajak.

For example,

Anak cina pasang lukah
Lukah dipasang di Tanjung Jati
Di dalam hati tidak ku lupa
Sebagai rambut bersimpul mati


Dari sini kita lihat, stansa pertama dan kedua menunjukkan perbuatan seorang cina memasang lukah, di Tanjung Jati..
Namun begitu, ia tidak berkait dgn stansa ketiga dan empat. Ungkapan 'hati tidak lupa, sbg rambut bersimpul mati' memberi kita satu pengertian tentang perasaan kedua kekasih yg saling menyintai, sehingga susah ia melupakan seseorang itu baik dari segi rupa maupun tingkah laku, bak rambut bersimpul mati di mana rambut itu susah untuk di huraikan kembali.

Puisi ini menggunakan perkataan2 yg menceritakan tentang situasi pada masa itu, di mana kawasan perkampungan dan saling usik-mengusik antara sang kekasih berlaku pada zaman dulu.

Burung merpati terbang seribu
Hinggap seekor di tengah laman
Hendak mati di hujung kuku
Hendak berkubur di tapak tangan

Dari stansa pertama dan kedua kita faham akan beberapa burung yg berterbangan lalu singgah di laman. Namun dari seribu burung, hanya satu berkumbun di 'tengah' laman.

Ia menunjukkan pertarungan, dari sudut kompetitif seorang kekasih kpd seorang perempuan yg dikasihi. Di mana seribu burung yg berterbangan, hanya satu yg ingin hinggap di tengah laman, bukan di tepi, hujung dan sbginya. dan burung ini hanya seekor saja, dan bukan seribu. Mentelahan, ia menunjukkan bahawa burung ini ingin memiliki laman yg tengah, di mana tiada burung yg boleh hinggap bersamanya, seperti mana kita lazim lihat perwatakan burung selalu berterbangan dan berehat bersama-sama.

Kendatipun, dari stansa ketiga, kita lihat bagaimana perkataan, 'hendak mati di hujung kuku' mengkukuhkan lagi daya kompetitif sang kekasih tersebut. Beliau tidak mahu mati di mana2 kecuali di 'hujung kuku'. Lazimnya seorang yg mati, beliau akan pandang ainnya keatas saolah2 melihat ruhnya keluar dari jasad. Maksudnya, manusia mati atas sebab sakit, uzur dan sebagainya mati di 'hujung kepala'. Namun begitu, sang kekasih ini tidak mahu mati begitu. Beliau ingin mati 'di hujung kuku'- mati dalam pertarungan, bagi menunjukkan kekuatan cintanya kpd kekasihnya. Biar mati muda pertahankan cinta, dari mati tua berpantang uzur, kata org. Dan stansa empat juga mengkukuhkan lagi stansa ketiga dan sbginya.

Dari sini kita lihat rangkai hubung puisi tersebut. Ia indah, saling berhubung kait antara satu dengan yg lain. Indah bahasa, indah rupa. :)

And from here, we can conclude that this puisi is a treasure to the root of our culture.

And for those who are real malays, gosh, pls read up can or not? im a javanese, i shud be studying bahasa indonesia but instead, i can say im better in malay lingua den sum who can't even speak malay properly.

"Mengata dulang paku serpih. Mengata orang dialah yg lebih!!"

Haha.. Dun think negative about me, dat one is a joke on me. :D

I love malay. :)




Oh anyways, im working @ IRAS at Novena from Tues onwards w Din and possibly Wanpee. Haha, its gonna be cool, 3 idiots typing like mad in a small cubicle. Absolutely delicious..!

"YATA..........!" *hands thrown out wildly*


Im hungry.
Period.
Hungry.
For an adventure.

PS: Im still a chicken. Puck puck puck! :D



Oh ya, I got a TEKA-TEKI for ya.

Dalam banyak2 mee, mee aper bleh nyanyi dan joget?

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Guess?! :D

Bothered

How come the crisis in Penang is still unresolved?

How come the people voted DAP and now regret their decision, the fact that the 'Bumiputra' rights could end up a scrap project?

How could a Muslim family decide to turn against their own religion when a Muslim maid was not allowed to pray in claims of jealousy?

How could the society allow maids to continue be tortured, and not allowed the freedom to practice faith?

Why is arwah Atok Aki's gaunt face keep flashing thru my brain all the time?

Why am I still sad over the loss of a best friend who died in the Taiwan plane crash?

What makes a man, a man?

Is it his d***, or the responsibility that he bears himself?

Why is my electric guitar became out of tune?

Why am I singing, "Gurindam Jiwa" all of the sudden when Im bathing in the toilet?

...Tuai padi antara masa... Esok jangan.. Layu layuan... Intai kami, antara nampak.. esok jangan, rindu-rinduan.....

Burung merpati terbang seribu... Hinggap seekor, di tengah laman.. Hendak mati.. Di hujung kubur.. Hendak berkubur, ditapak tangan..



klau tuan mudik kehulu.. carikan saya, bunga kemboja... kalau tuan mati dahulu...

nantikan saya dipintu syurga...


...

Why am I still coughing?

Why am I having a mental block that is making me lose patience coz I cannot write the essay to NUS and also finish up the sajak that was due last month?

Why did I even LOSE my Koleksi Sajak black book?

Why am I so careless?

Why am I becoming lazier by the minute, yet dreaming all the time?

Why does the clock turn clockwise and not anti clockwise just like the pilgrimage muslims making a tawaf round the Kaabah?

Are we moving forward or moving backwards then?..

Why everytime I massage mum's leg, I find myself in a place where Im touching her cold feet and there is a white cloth covered over her lifeless body?

...


Going for a run to clear my brain. Da..



And as the episode unfolds, he grabbed his bag and forced it inside his pocket, unsure of what would happen next..

Oh anyways, I have great fun today. Went to teach tuition, then, met up with ma bro at the NUS OPEN HOUSE 08, where I had great fun. Check this out, I met Danny!! Haha, good to see ya bro! They showcase the CCAs in NUS, and not to forget, the courses available there. Great to see people scurrying around and about, with many botaks (Freshman from BMT, piece of losers, I alr ORDed like a mth plus! haha! have fun finding Mas Selamat!)and small girls of like what, 18-19 years of age. Annoying, really. And yeah, when I saw Muslim Society's booth, I kinda felt like its a dumb boring piece of table filled with small photos.

You see, in marketing, if you want to market yourself, you need to STEP UP! Make the pics as big as posters, big banners, big tables, big crowd, and blast musics from amps (you can put like, Yassin music or sumting liddat yea, haha) and then yes, alot of small pieces of souvenirs and stuff liddat. Professional Letterings is needed people. Get a grip man! Duh. If my bro becomes the President or sumting liddat, things are gonna change with me around.. :D

Next to the boring booth was Photographic Society. Thou its boring, I guess they made the facts right. They do have nice big pics to showcase sumting. Im gonna buy a good camera and join them, thou it as equivalent to a boring loser, but who cares?! All im up for is the knowledge of photography itself. It is very subjective, and it makes you awe in wonderment when you capture something that portrays a piece of what they call life.

After that, I walked around to the A.S.Sc. Nice.. Im gonna enjoy my stay there haha!

Anyways, after Zuhr, I met up w Din, and the fact that he didnt say thank you for mt effort of taking the MRT from Clementi all the way to Kembangan just to see him proves one point- guys are just as insensitive as a cow. Haha.

Talk cock, more cock, with includes about fantasies of being rich and building a wharf just beside a 3-story house with a lift and a helipad. And then met up with Nusrah and off we went to find food at Geylang.

Upon reaching there, I discussed w them about my views of the Malay Society. The absolute mess in Geylang shows that thou we are clean-incest creatures, we couldn't care less about the environment. Take Malaysia for example. :D so much for "Keep Malaysia Clean, Throw Rubbish to Singapore" shirt I saw at the background of a news clip in Berita Harian.

Then we ate and talk and ate and more talk. Haha. I had the most delicious food that day. Nasi Mutiara. Seasoned sliced meat, curry-flavoured rice and a telur mata lembu. And the rest had suck food- Nusrah had like ingus-looking mee hong kong, where as Din's Tom Yam taste like Tom "too-much" Yam haha.

Then we went to talk more cock @Vivocity, while waiting for Aisyah and Wanpee and the rest to link up. Din tried to get tix at last min but it was sold out. Poor guy. Haha.

Oh btw..

STEP UP 2 was totally AWESOME!!

Hell yeah it was!! Moves as slick as the tip of the iceberg they say. Funkier then the first. The girl was absolute hot. Period. And yeah, there was the kissing scene in the rain, which totally puts the show down again.

I think I wanna watch it again. Then try some of the moves at home. Haha. Only at HOME that is, dun wan to embarass myself haha!

And yes, ORD nite pics are up next. And I got 2nd prize! Woho! A cool sleek Phillips DVD RECORDER! NICE...

Oh ya, Nusrah did mention something, and im just too shy to admit it haha. I dun noe why im like this, but im a shy person no doubt about that, shy is good, cuz shy means the person have his personal barriers so that he isnt flimsy enuf to play around with women. Now thats a playboy. And im no toyboy. Haha.

So yeah, hmm... *thinkin*...

*more thinkin*...

Off to sleep. ZzZzZ...

PS: Oh ya, dis is the song that I played on Guitar yesterday, the one I kept thinking and thinking about it haha! And yea, call me Haz the chicken who cannot even tag a hi in a tagboard. Chicken. Chicken. Puck Puck.

Damn.

I'll tag tomorrow. ZzZzZz

Oh wait, I cant sleep.

Im going for a run. Bye.

ORD Pics!!

At last the pics are up for grabs!

Holla! But still I think they shud have made us (ORD peeps in Feb) in green too, dont u think so?









From left:

Fairuz. wanpee, Encik X, Din, Me, Taufiq, Sufian.

Gosh i miss those days!









The Apache Family, made up of the Malay Infantry Squad haha..

Alpha, Bravo and Charlie Specs: Always together, allied in strength and power.










Abdillah w his stupid antics.. (e guy w the hp)












I wonder why there is a CPL among the seargants... :D

Oh ya, the medic over there is lepak, haha, i once fucked his MO during a night walk, and he saw it all. Dun blame me, I have night blindness, how the hell do I know it is MO when he is alr so dark... Hahaha!






Me, wanpee, PC Wei Jie, Bear, Din

Oh bear, thanks for the electric guitar, it was awesome dude.

Platoon 3 Commanders


Willy Choo, Izhar Rizman, Benjamin Tjoe, Ridzwan, PC, Haz

The Backbone of Alpha
The Stronghold of 4SIR


The FIRST!! HUHAH!!

Actually there is alot of pics, but I haven yet able to collect all of them, especially from my platoon. So yeah, see you guys at the latest ICT 769 Battalion.

Eagles we Fight!! Till the End!!

Reply to Food for Thought

Ok, here's the deal.

1) Did you say im myopic? Yup, i am, in fact today im just about to buy a new pair of specs after I sell my hp.

2) The fact that I put expectations on people is simple. Life has its own expectations on us. God has His expectations on us written on His Holy Book. Your mum and dad has their expectations on u. How come when it comes to friends it becomes a negative thing?

Anyways, it is a good expectation. Being late is wrong. Making promises and not adhering to it is wrong. It falls under the word, 'amanah'. Amanah is a characteristic of the Prophet.

Expectation on people is necessary. It brings about a protective barrier so that you choose your friends wisely. We are not here in this world to make a fool out of ourselves. We are not here to make dunia friends. Its the akhirat friends, friends that bring you closer to God, in times when you want to have fun, he says, Hey buddy, its prayer time, let's go to the nearby mosque/surau. That is a fact. A fact of life. When you put expectations on others, people put expectations on me as well. In fact I think you say it all nicely but you yourself wun admit that you too put expectations on others. Expectations are not equivalent to judging the person. A person can never judge another person, because he/she did not create the being. Only God can, and all of us will be judge by Him in Thereafter. Some people have some certain expectation on me, it is on my part whether I wanna reach that expectation on my behalf or not, whether I need to be flexible on some issues, or stand on my fundamental principles.

Do not be emotional on this. Instead, think of it as a constructive way to help build yourself up. Im not a perfect person either. Im trying to subject myself to the absolute plan called 'The will of God'. And so you must too.

I apologise for what I did, it might be irrational, but who doesnt? :)

3) Deny the truth? Explain. What exactly is the truth? Who says it is the truth? Facts? Evidence? Logical explanation?

Truth is then basically a definition used by us humans to either strengthen our beliefs on a certain issue, or as a reason to live.

They can say that Mas Selamat is a terrorist. People say it is the truth. Some say it is not. Then truth becomes a subjective matter. Ryt?

If there are evidences to support that he is a terrorist, can it still be called 'truth'? Who provided the evidences then?

Everything in life is subjective, for the matter. Only one thing is true. That God is the Greatest, and He is Perfect.




I know you are emotional. How? It is simple. You use words like, 'How sad.." n etc, its like menyindir, or are you? Kata org, sapa makan cili, dialah yg rasa pedas.

Humans are complex, but yet there are some things that are so obvious it becomes a common trait. When people face a certain issue that deals with them, they become defensive, and being defensive itself shows a certain amount of emotional discomfort.

I apologise. And May God help us all. Amin.

PS: I got loads of pics to share. ORD nite was the best. And ya, i think the tagger is a girl. Haha. Girls. *slaps forehead* so emotional. Thats the reason why God gave the knife and the butter to man. And then man destroys the knife and the butter, thinking that he could change the world.